Things people should not say to someone that has cancer

I feel like maybe I have said these things to people as well, before we were on this path.  I decided that I can't spend one minute being frustrated about it but truly sometimes it is staggering.  I know these people are truly trying to be positive or comforting but jeeze Louise.  I finally sent out an email and asked the people I worked with not talk to me about the diagnosis, prognosis or treatment.  That was after someone asked me if it had spread to his brain yet.  That made for a productive work day! I know we all have a long list of craziness we have dealt with.  Hang in there.  Can't let it get to us.  I am sorry you are going through this anxious time.  This beast of a disease stinks to be honest.  

I can add to the list!

"Do you think Susan is milking having cancer?" WTH!

Well your treatments are done, your cured now, right?

actually, its a pretty long list!

That’s me done for then, the terrible none believing atheist that I have always been. I would much rather have faith in the brilliant staff of my hospital for their dedication in treating me.

Mgbfoster said:

Insensitive statements

When I was preparing to have my surgery I had to make a payment to the hospital. When we were on our way home that day I told my wife that I had to pay $100.00. She freaked out! I was blindsided by her statement. "How the Hell are we going to pay all these bills". I really felt like stopping the car and getting out and leaving. That hurt! Trust me, there have been many others. I was in the hospital for one week. Since I had a neck disection, I could not shave. The minute I walked in the door at home she said "You need to go shave". There have been many more! I've had to develped a thick skin.

Shaving was restricted in my plan.

M

Some people can be insensitive. For most of them their mouth gets ahead of their brain. They are sorry for what they said as soon as it comes out of their mouth. My wife has done this a few times. There are also those people that seem to get satisfaction. Glad I never smoked, or you should have been a vegan or maybe its just karma. Those types I just ignore. Nobody deserves cancer or has ever asked to get it. Sometimes I feel more sorry for people like that than I do myself.

Andy13460 said:

Faith in God I have none

 

That’s me done for then, the terrible none believing atheist that I have always been. I would much rather have faith in the brilliant staff of my hospital for their dedication in treating me.

 

From a fellow Free Thinker, I agree with your statement.

Somebody said to me "Don't you wish it had happened to somebody else?" I replied "No. I wouldn't wish this on anybody. Not even my worst enemy."

Mgbfoster said:

Insensitive statements

When I was preparing to have my surgery I had to make a payment to the hospital. When we were on our way home that day I told my wife that I had to pay $100.00. She freaked out! I was blindsided by her statement. "How the Hell are we going to pay all these bills". I really felt like stopping the car and getting out and leaving. That hurt! Trust me, there have been many others. I was in the hospital for one week. Since I had a neck disection, I could not shave. The minute I walked in the door at home she said "You need to go shave". There have been many more! I've had to develped a thick skin.

Just a suggestion - honey, it's going to cost more than $100 in dental bills after I pop you in the mouth the next time you ever say anything that callous to me ever again ;-)

Bob Watt said:

Some people are idiots.

Somebody said to me "Don't you wish it had happened to somebody else?" I replied "No. I wouldn't wish this on anybody. Not even my worst enemy."

Only 'some' people are idiots?  I think there are more of us than that :-)  I know some people think "why me" but I think "why not me?"  I drank and smoked more than anyone I knew, for over 40 years, I am amazed it didn't get me long ago. If it was going to get anyone it would be me, so surprise was not among my reactions. 20 years after I got started down this track I found out there was a long history of alcoholism (and many deaths thereby) on my father's side of the family.  Looking back, I think it was irresponsible for him to get me started on daily beer at age 12, let me brew my own beer at 14 and allowed me  access to hard liquor at 15.  I was off and running at an early age and never looked back. Despite both parents smoking heavily, I held out until age 17 but when I discovered that perfect mixture of booze and cigs, it really worked for me and I stayed with it for almost 40 years. 

You could argue fault and blame all the live long day and until the cows come home but -- actually, **** that.  The blame lies entirely with my father who got me started as a young child and to a lesser degree my mother who drank and smoked like a merchant sailor, from conception to birth and far beyond.

i don't claim to be a perfect person by any means but I do feel I got dealt a **** hand out of the gate  and so here I am in cancer land.   I know I could have behaved less stupidly by quitting but by god I tried, over and over and over again. If the entry fee was suffering I paid it many times over. If it was that easy we would all have quit long ago and this site would have happily lost many members for the very best of reasons.

My reply turned into kind of a vent, so I thank you for reading. I am sure almost everyone can relate to wanting to get stuff out after receiving such life changing news.