I feel so lost

Hi Sarah,

We just found out on Sunday that my husband's dad who was approved for a partial pancreatic removal due to a sudden mass that appeared in there is no longer a candidate for surgery and deemed inoperable at his pre-op appointment. WHAT , how did this happen??!!! It's one week from surgery and poof, I'm sorry but your are terminal was what he was told on Thursday.  However there is a clinical trial that is making great results with shrinking pancreatic tumors. IF IF IF you were do try this and your tumor reacts......it is POSSIBLE that your tumor shrinks enough that we may be able to remove the tumor if we get it small enough to unwrap the tumor from being around your blood supply in the pancreas.  It will kill you instantly if we try now.  He JUST moved here two years ago from out of state. JUST built his brand new home he designed and moved in 3 months ago. NOW WHAT? The home was 400k. The grass isn't even in yet.    His symptoms - One and a hlf months ago he got a huge back ache but does have back problems in general. Goes to neuro for an eval and they ran blood work. Came back super elevated liver enzymes.  He turned highlighter yellow by the next day. He had dropped 25 pounds in one month also. He had an undertone of yellow at this appointment.   Moving forward to now - he has a mass on the inside -side- of the head of his pancreas that has grown around his main blood supply to his organ causing the pancreas to slow down and eventually without treatments will cutt off his function to the organ. So it's the mechanical situation of the tumor that is causing the issue more then it spreading or being mastetistic (which it's not at this time.)  LEt me refrain - it's in his lymph node that is within the organ still. 

So here we are. Stunned, numb, in pain, freaking out, never good timing.  Did I mention I am a stage three breast cancer patient in remission as of two year ago? Twenty two rounds of chemo and 48 rounds of radiation under my belt and double mastectomy, age 45 now.  My husband JUST DID THIS with me! Now this! His dad is besides himself.  Knowing what I know from my own journey - I reflect:  As a cancer patient myself I know how the ruthless feeling of shock and awe hit my family. You go through a stage where you feel like you're looking over the edge of the Empire State Building and someTHING is pushing you further over your comfort zone onto the ledge.  Then friends and family come together and smack the "edge feeling " away from you once they gather themselves from the news.  Then, all the variables fly at your like the alphabet in a whilwind. But then after you exhaust yourself from scare and WTH's. You land. When you see fear in your loved one. GAME IS ON!  It's not always a CURE type of agenda even though that's the goal. It's about getting from one step to the next as best as you can. Knowledge is power and TIME is of the essense. No matter WHAT ANYONE TELLS YOU - TIME is the most important treatment there is. DO NOT SETTLE with "a month from now we can get him in" type of BS. NO - Make everything a stat conversation and expectation while trying to remain kind with doctors and staff. Cancer spreads, so who wants to waste precious time?