I'm ashamed of myself

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Comments

  • foxhd
    foxhd Member Posts: 3,181 Member
    #22
    I'll usually respond to each poster

    but haven't yet. Steve, I have exposed myself to many. (ou la la, Maria)( Speedo pics @ $2.50 ea. ) Just a few years back I led a pretty hi profile life. Highly respected professionally, athletically, and a biker who could blend in anywhere doing anything. I had a million friends. Participated in many groups. I don't do any of that anymore. I have very few social contacts outside of here. I enjoy my time being my own. I had never intended to be the Foxasaurus of a cancer forum. But as you have learned in your short time here, there are members who really care about others. This group has no room for dishonesty or misleading information. As time passed, most of my laundry has been hung up for all to see. And as long as I remain part of this family, you'll know who you are dealing with. My future has only one plan. Survival. No more work. No motorcycles. No intense ex. No new hobbies. I'll spend the rest of my life involved with personal interests. It makes me very happy. You are all my closest friends. Some very close. And as long as others can benefit from my experience, I'll unbutton my trench coat. I've been disappointed to find out information about members only after they passed. Work, hobbies, experiences that we could share stories and laughs over.

    Has anyone wondered if the person we've known only by their screen name could be someone famous or influential? How many golfers here knew that Texas Wedge was a powerful attorney, lived along Carnoustie(one of the oldest golf courses in the UK, and golfed daily. Even when it was as cold as 17 degrees!

    Fellow bikers owe it to themselves to learn about our friend GSRon. A world famous motorcycle builder and legend at the "Isle of Mann" motorcycle races. (anyone here who thinks they can ride needs to pull up a youtube video of Isle of Mann. Or even just GSRon.

    Thaxter, and Foots were bluegrass and traditional music string players.

    Marosa is a world class photographer. www.maryrosajimenez.com. Do yourself a favor and view her pics.

    Not everyone can be influential. Not everyone wants to be a friend. But those who share their closest joys are the kind of friends I like to be friends with. Most comes out in pm's but friends become friends through there posts.

  • BDS
    BDS Member Posts: 172
    edited May 2017 #23
    Becoming a dinosaur sure beats the alternative

    Fox you may be a dinosaur but you are not extinct! Life unfortunately is just the luck of the draw. When my daughter was young she once belonged to a choir. They would sing “The Star Spangled Banner” at local sporting events and perform at nursing homes and shopping malls at Christmas time.  One day the assistant choir master made an announcement that she was resigning her volunteer position on the choir and quitting her “Corporate job” to pursue her passion of a music career. She was twenty something and the world was her oyster. She was just heading to the office to clean out her desk that day on 9-11 - she never came home. Ever since that day I have learned to appreciate every breath God gives for what’s worth. I always make it a point to do something enjoyable every day. Even when I do not feel my best I will force myself to just take a walk in the sunshine. No survivor’s guilt!
    PS – May 28th will be my five year anniversary. Fox like you I am becoming a dinosaur. I know at this point I will never be cured but I want to become an old and crusty dinosaur.       - BDS    

  • Jojo61
    Jojo61 Member Posts: 1,309 Member
    #24
    Foxy, I understand completely

    Foxy, I understand completely what you are feeling. It feels that there is something missing....and yet, I read and am amazed at the caring, wonderful people here. But a part of our hearts belonged to the people we lost. There definitely was a connection in that group. A depth. And yes, the recent losses we have suffered stirred up old feelings. I still read here, but I hesitate before I respond. Not sure if it is because others are answering, and I would just be repetetive, or that I am afraid to get attached or a combination of both.

    But you are right - again - that we are all friends here, and how we share, and what we share determine what friendships develop - and how deeply they develop. We do have some fascinating and talented members! Me?? Not much - but I do make a mean chocolate! Everyone always asks for it and 3 men have proposed to me after eating this chocolate (not my husband, though - LOL) - so I name it "Marriage Proposal Chocolate". I also love to karaoke ... but believe me when I say that everyone doesn't ask for that!!! I can't sing well, but I do love it!

    Let's continue to embrace our lives, our old friends, new friends, and open our hearts when we can.

    JLY! (really doesn't work, but you get the meaning :)

    BIG hugs

    Jojo

     

  • marosa
    marosa Member Posts: 334 Member
    #25
    Fox, Oh my!

    Thank you! I love that you love my work!

     Amazing all that comes pouring after a post like this.  It feels good to share a little more of our lives and not just our desease although  I undestand how the urgency lies in exactly that, being able to learn and vent and find knowlegde and hope and care... that is what brought us here!  But is it very nice to get to know a little more about us and the lives we lead other than our stage and grade.

     BDS you went thru the hardest thing a person could ever experience; to loose a child.  It takes a very special person to live thru that and then cancer and have a sticker like you have here saying life is good and showing a big smile.  I am humbled by you and so many here!

    Jojo, that chocolate is going to get us to meet the next time you go to the D.R. !!!

     

     

  • foroughsh
    foroughsh Member Posts: 779 Member
    #26
    Fox, i'm very proud of you,

    Fox, i'm very proud of you, you're one one of those who are always here to help. We come here write about anything which comes to out mind, anything which makes us hopeless, terrified, knowing someone replies and gives us hope. You are one of those ones who always gives others hope. Thanks for being a live non existing not in danger dinosaur.

  • disha2000
    disha2000 Member Posts: 2
    #27
    Soothing

    Hi All, 

    I am new to this space, my mom has been diagnosed of RCC and has done nephrectomy. Mets are seen in 8 different places and she is now going through radiation on her femur bones. Starting this weekend Sutent or Pazopanib will be given to her as part of treatment. 

    When we got to know about all this, we family members were under big depression, we had not seen our mum in that situation. We did not have any one to talk to and explain things. Doctors will say what they can say and will say and politically correct. But yes they are helping to keep my mother better. Long way to go for her. 

    Reading through your experiences, and your positivity I have gained 1000 elephants strengths and determined to support and do all that required. Like Jan had earlier advised, to keeping my moms capability to take it all that be given to her.

    It is great moral strength for the patient family and I am sure will help 1000s.

    Thanks

    DD

  • BDS
    BDS Member Posts: 172
    edited May 2017 #28
    marosa said:

    Fox, Oh my!

    Thank you! I love that you love my work!

     Amazing all that comes pouring after a post like this.  It feels good to share a little more of our lives and not just our desease although  I undestand how the urgency lies in exactly that, being able to learn and vent and find knowlegde and hope and care... that is what brought us here!  But is it very nice to get to know a little more about us and the lives we lead other than our stage and grade.

     BDS you went thru the hardest thing a person could ever experience; to loose a child.  It takes a very special person to live thru that and then cancer and have a sticker like you have here saying life is good and showing a big smile.  I am humbled by you and so many here!

    Jojo, that chocolate is going to get us to meet the next time you go to the D.R. !!!

     

     

    My Daughter is Not Dead

     

    Dear Marosa my daughter is not dead! But, there are times I want to kill her! She is now twenty-two. Thinks she knows everything, feels entitled and thinks the world revolves around her and her friends. No my daughter was in a choir and the assistant choir master died in 9-11. The point of my previous post was just that you never know when the cord of life will be cut so find something in everyday to appreciate life. - BDS        

     

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member
    #29
    marosa said:

    Fox, Oh my!

    Thank you! I love that you love my work!

     Amazing all that comes pouring after a post like this.  It feels good to share a little more of our lives and not just our desease although  I undestand how the urgency lies in exactly that, being able to learn and vent and find knowlegde and hope and care... that is what brought us here!  But is it very nice to get to know a little more about us and the lives we lead other than our stage and grade.

     BDS you went thru the hardest thing a person could ever experience; to loose a child.  It takes a very special person to live thru that and then cancer and have a sticker like you have here saying life is good and showing a big smile.  I am humbled by you and so many here!

    Jojo, that chocolate is going to get us to meet the next time you go to the D.R. !!!

     

     

    Thanks to Fox for link! You

    Thanks to Fox for link! You're an amazing photographer, Marosa. Love your work!!

  • marosa
    marosa Member Posts: 334 Member
    #30
    Oh ohh a bit of Babel here...

    Disha, Im very sorry that your mom is going through all this and also that you as a loving daughter are suffereing as well form this very difficult situation.  I hope and wish for strength for you both an a positive outcome on her new treatment.  I know it can be a little confusing when you start posting in CSN but I would recommend you start a new post.  This one, where you have chosen to post has been exhausted and may go inadverted to the rest of us.

    BDS I am so sorry I misunderstood your story.  But I am soooo happy to learn that I misunderstood!!!

    Thank you very much Apny!

     

  • garym
    garym Member Posts: 1,647
    #31
    Been awhile

    I understand how the Fox feels, the loss of friends that I met here eventually became too much weight to bear.  I still visit from time to time, but this post struck a nerve and moved me like no other for a long time.  Foxy, you have long been a hero to me, not because of what you have endured and survived, but because through it all you have always been more concerned about others than yourself.  You have always ben the greatest positive energy generator on this site, may that never change.

     

    One for you;

     

    A doctor was beating himself up for having slept with yet another of his patients.  He was all depressed, down, and drinking heavily when a devil appeared on his left shoulder.  "Its no big deal" he said, "happens every day all over the world, you should plan on doing it more often."

    Then an angel appeared on his right shoulder and said; "Cut that crap out, you're a veterinarian." 

  • foxhd
    foxhd Member Posts: 3,181 Member
    #32
    Oh Man!

    How I've thought about you Gary! It  stinks when people disappear and we don't know what has happened. Thanks for popping in. How are you my friend? I reference you at times. Newbies need your advice re: post op walking and drinking water for recovery. Please hang around awhile.

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