How to avoid scanxiety (in 147 easy steps)

I got the orders for my first post-op scan and labs in January, with instructions to call back in March for them to get approval for the scan, labs, and appointment in April. Did that. Got called back and appointment was changed to later in April. Huh. Right in the middle of my vacation. Changed all that. Scheduled CT scan, they told me it was for a different reason than I said. What's the point of that, I asked. Well, we can't schedule an appointment for something we don't have the approval for. Nevermind, I said. Then I called the surgeon's office, they called and got the approval for what it was supposed to be. I made the appointment. They called because they had to change the appointment. Later, I realized the new appointment was at a time I had to be somewhere else. I cancelled the appointment, rescheduled for another time. Went to the appointment, my order in hand said with and without contrast. Theirs said without. Well, we can't schedule an appointment... OK, I know. Went to the doctor's office, explained what had happened. They checked. No, your January CT was with and without. This is without. Nope (showing the order), there was no January CT. This is the "January" CT, handed to me in January. Huh, they said. Apparently the clinical notes were misinterpreted, so they had to speak with the doctor and straighten that out. Got the OK on the with and without, made the CT appointment. Went to get the labs done at some point, quite delighted that the parking lot was so empty. They'd moved. By the time I'd found the place (new building, no signs), they'd closed. OK, I'll do this another day (I forgot to do it another day). Went to the CT appointment, they insisted I drink the barium "milk"shake. Nope, told them I don't drink that, it gives me a migraine, doctor says it's not needed. They say, "That's our protocol." Nevermind. More phone calls, reschedule. Go to the newly rescheduled CT, realizing I haven't done the labs yet. Oh, wait, this is WITH and without contrast. You'll have to wait for the radiologist to get here, they said. OK, I'll be back. Off to get blood work, came back for the CT. WAIT! They cried. A nephrectomy?! No, we can't do with contrast. It was a partial, I responded. I still have more than a kidney and a half, honest. No, no, no - you have to go and get SPECIAL tests for kidney function. Go see your doctor! We can't do this, they said. Oh, and this time they had my copay, so they gave me a fancier-than-usual receipt. So off I went to the doctor's office, explaining that I needed some SPECIAL lab work. Not a problem, said the gal in the office, and she gave me an order for... a general panel (What I'd had done). I called the lab, it'd be ready in two days. Called CT place, everything was in order, scheduled a CT for this coming Monday. Thursday, I got a reminder for my Friday afternoon CT. Haha, I thought. Called them first thing Friday / yesterday morning to remind THEM that I was scheduled for a Monday morning appointment. Nope, they assured me, it's this afternoon. Don't eat for four hours before. I went through all the stages of being blindsided - Denial, anger, bargaining... and finally acceptance. Finally got the CT done. 

Woke up this morning with typical "minor" delayed side effects of the contrast: Headache, nausea, diarrhea, and joint pain. I was supposed to go to a fancy event tonight with food and drinks. Haha, no. Not to mention, I'll have to get my electrolytes back up before I even get close to anxiety (Angst, now that's a whole different matter)!

Happy Earth Day, unless like me you've gotten a bonus and it's also Urp Day: Happy-Happy!