HELP with the end Small Cell Prostate Cancer

torehb Member Posts: 1

Hi this is the fist time i am writing here and i am devastated as the dr. told my dad yesterday that he has only a few months, of course dad has hearing problem so he understood that he will have a few years and i did not have the heart to tell him. I rather he not lose his mind thinking he will die in a few months. I dont know if I am wrong to do this and i struggle with it. He does not have anything to put in order he has nothing and lives a very simple life. I have brought him to live with me and have hospice coming to visit me today. I am so scared and unsure of what is going to happen and how and if he will be in pain. Any words of wisdom from anyone who has been through this with a loved one would be appreciated. 


  • Swingshiftworker
    Swingshiftworker Member Posts: 1,017 Member
    A few months?

    Your father only has a few months to live because of prostate cancer?  Must be quite advanced.  My condolences.  I've had several fairly recent experiences with the death of loved ones -- including my mother who died naturally at age 101.  Everyone experiences such events differently. 

    Sounds like you are already doing what you can do to make his final days as comfortable and pain free as possible.  If you are religious, speak w/your pastor, minister, rabbi or whoever you respect in your religious institution.  If not, speak w/relatives or friends who you are willing to confide in or with a professional counselor or therapist, if there's no one  you can trust. 

    It may also be possible for you to join a support group for cancer patient caregivers, if one is sponsored by a hospital locally.  If not, consider joining this (or other such groups) online:

    Best wishes and good luck.

  • Max Former Hodgkins Stage 3
    Max Former Hodgkins Stage 3 Member Posts: 3,814 Member


    I too am sorry about your dad's plight. How old is he ? Is he clear-headed ?  If he is clear-headed, I would think that he has a fiduciary right to know his diagnosis and situation.  Did the doctor offer any treatment options ?  If he did, and if your dad has his rational ability intact, then he has a right to make those treatment choices himself.   It is rare indeed to get a prostate cancer diagnosis that has zero options, unless it is extremely advanced and the patient is very, very old or has other serious medical problems.

    If the doctor said that no reasonable treatment options exist, for whatever medical reasons, then shielding him may be a bit more understandable.


  • VascodaGama
    VascodaGama Member Posts: 3,677 Member
    edited April 2017 #4
    Chemo may prolong life in SC-PCa

    I am sorry for the diagnosis. I wonder the age of your father but it may be better to tell him all details. In any case I am against his doctor for his comment regarding the life period. Small cell PCa is a very aggressive type difficult to treat. I would recommend you to try contacting forum participants via CSN email in the bellow threads, that have similar experiences. You may find some help in the discussions posted, regarding treatments;

    Can you share more details of his diagnosis. Why the biopsy? What was his PSA?

    Best wishes and luck in his journey,


  • hopeful and optimistic
    hopeful and optimistic Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    My Mother

    ...passed away at 95. She was diagnosed with an aggresive Leukema, and had hospice care at home. As part of hospice there was a caring, trained clergyman that visited and was available. He was not of our religion, but knew how to conduct himself. All of the hospice personnel were caring. My Mother and brother did not want to know how much time was left..the doctor did not share with either of them. I did, and the information was shared with me.

    It's hard, but death is part of living.


  • Clevelandguy
    Clevelandguy Member Posts: 1,064 Member
    edited April 2017 #6
    Time left?


    Sometimes the doctors say months to live and the patient lives several months or years.  Maybe your Dad is better off not knowing, it might improve his general attitude and his will to fight on.  The only time the doctors know the time of death is when they call it AFTER the patient dies.

    Dave 3+4