Two months out - lots of emotions

hardo718 said:

Welcome Gary

Truthfully, what you're going thru is completely normal.....just my opinion.  I'm sure others will chime in with their thoughts and opinions as well.  It's a lot to absorb, and it's VERY life altering.  You've been thru a lot with the surgery and diagnosis and part of the healing process is coming to terms with the fact that you had cancer.  That, in and of itself can be an exhausting process.  BUT, you might want to ask your doctor to order a CBC to make sure you aren't anemic as well.  Not uncommon.  Are they planning on doing any follow-up care?  I hope.  Typically every 6 months or so at first they usually want scans, labs, etc.

And now for the move.  Take it easy and try not to overdo.  You're still in the early stages of healing, even if the outside is healed up, the insides take much longer.

I'll keep you in my prayers,

Donna~

Thanks for the reply, Donna. I appreciate your kind words. I know (intellectually) that I'll get through this and that others have had it much worse than I have. Knowing that generally helps keep me more positive. For some reason, right now it's not. And I'll get through this too - and whatever else this thing throws at me.

It's wonderful to find a group of people who have the collective perspective of this group. I look forward to learning more here and hope one day I can be of support to others.

mlph4021 said:

It was right about the 2 month mark for me

When I finally started feeling better. I went from being terrified finding out and pre-surgery to just wrecked following surgery. It hurt a lot more than I expected and I was angry that I couldn't do the things I wanted to do. I was even angry at my surgeon, the man who literally saved me life! Then the depression set in and some days I thought it would have been better to have not gone through the surgery. 

Of course, now I know that is just ridiculous and I am grateful it was found when it was and the surgery is in the past. I think just having a "safe" space to talk about all the feelings helps a lot. Usually after just telling others how I felt, my mood improved a bit. My biggest issue was that everyone around me was so happy it was over and the surgeon said the margins were clear. Life went on. I didn't want to burden them with, "hey I still feel bad." 

For me, I started accepting all invitations to get out of the house. And I started having fun again. And I am trying new things as well, currently trying to get some friends together to walk a 5k, because why not? 

Thanks! I feel a little better knowing it's not just me. It's  good to see that there's light at the end of the tunnel.

donna_lee said:

We'll get this "Cowboy Up"

and back on his horse.

To say you got a double whammy is an understatement.  You hardly had time to adjust to maybe I'm OK, to I have cancer, to I've had surgery for cancer.  The emotional part is more difficult than the physical; because you can at least see evidence of healing, or even feel the evidence.  At least I was already on an antidepressant, but the low spells that came took me lower than I wanted to be, so the Dr.  tried to change my meds.  I say tried...as it didn't work and made things worse until I leterally ordered my PC to get me back to normal.  Whatever normal is!!

The crying, the sadness, the loss of energy and enthusiasm are all part of coming to terms with the disease.

Mild physical activity on a regular basis, healthy meals, and sharing laughter with friends or family are a place to start.  Get outdoors as the weather warms up.  Do a project that takes little thought but keeps you busy, i.e. clean out a drawer or two or three.  Tidy up a section of the garage. Organize a recycling area.  Read a good book, but forgo the ice cream. Get the dice game "LCR" and invite friends over.  You'll laugh and be busy. Prepare a list of good things to live for and look forward to.  If you like to hike, start by setting the goals to make you fit enought to take hikes this summer.  If you like to golf, find a practice area and putt/chip or drive.  Take the dog for a walk.  There are so many things you are able and capable of doing; so don't let yourself fall into a hole and say you can't do anything. 

Join a cancer support group; and/or come back to this group with your worries and problems.  There are a few newbies here, but there are years of experience of survivorship on this board and we've heard just about all that's out there.

Read some the member's stories.  Just click on their user names and you'll read about the drugs and medications, the multiple surgeries, the other dieseases, etc. And while I'm there, fill in the start of your story by creating your page.

We wish you good luck and lots of hugs.

donna_lee     Yeah, another Donna, so I go by my original user name

 

Thank you, Donna. I plan to get better acquainted with the resources here. I'm really looking fwd to learning from others in this forum who have been down this part of the road already..

Deanie0916 said:

Hi Gary!

I like your user name...you are not dead yet...you'll get better!  It has been six months since my surgery to remove my left kidney. I can relate to the down times. I think part of the weirdness for me was I had this major surgery to remove this horrible disease and evil mass inside of me, a very serious situation. Then I am able to get about, walk, get back to work with no further treatment except checkups every 6 months. People and family see you are getting about okay and functioning and outwardly things seem normal, but inside my emotions are still in a mess and thing don't seem normal. Getting out and walking helps me but to be honest, I am still having rough days emotionally. Just my two cents worth, hope you feel better all around soon, Gary.

Deanie, I think you described a lot of what I'm feeling. Once again, it's good to know I'm not alone in feeling these things.