Mom with Stage 4 BC on radiation, extreme restlessness

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daisydays
daisydays Member Posts: 11
edited March 2017 in Breast Cancer #1

***** my apologies. I meant to put this on the Caregivers forum and it ended up here, and can't seem to delete it.*****

 

Hello,

I've been reading this very helpful forum and benefitting from information and camaraderie among caregivers, and I've finally joined in. 

My Mom was diagnosed early last year with Stage 2 BC, Her2+. She refused chemotherapy and other "standard" medical treatments. By November, her cancer progressed to Stage 4. She's a very independent and strong-willed woman, living by herself in this state. Three of four of us kids are all from different states rotate to care for her but I'm the primary caregiver and spend most of the time with her. I absolutely had no idea how tough caregiving is until I started doing it...and I have the utmost respect for caregivears. Angels on Earth. 

The main reason I jumped in is because I'm wondering if there's anyone out there seeing their loved one unable to fully sleep and be extremely restless. My Mom never had chemo nor opted for breast surgery. She has a huge breast wound with which they have started to treat with radiation. She has gone through halfway with her brain radiation, stopped that for now so that they could focus on the breast and its further cancer spread. 

She has become very angry (hurtful comments here and there), has refused to eat, drink, take meds, and do therapies (OT and PT, she has been staying at a skilled nursing facility to help her walk again -- her leg muscles have atrophied). Two nights ago they brought her to the ER and we've been confined in the hospital since then. She was admitted for critically low hemoglobin, high calcium and dehydration. Since Feb this year she has been in and out of lucidity. 

What I've noticed is that everyday she moans and groans, calling out "Mama" or "Papa" (both deceased) and when asked if she's in pain, she says no, just restless. She nods off to sleep snoring for a few seconds and then it's as though she rouses herself to wake up (or her snoring does) then starts to pound the bed with her fist in frustration, and repositions her legs (as though she doesn't know how to position them to be comfortable). She blames all the meds for making her feel this way. I see this happen all morning and afternoon long, and well into the evening. I've asked the doc to help her with this and she will be given a low dose sleeping pill. But....I'm just wondering if anyone out there has seen this? 

 

Sorry for the long entry with the background....thank you so much for your time. 

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  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    #2
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    As hard as it can be to seek,

    As hard as it can be to seek, perhaps it's time to seek a Court Appointed Conservator/Guadrian for her.  Perhaps it is time that a Hospice would be better than a Nursing Home.  

    You didn't mention her BC type or her age.  It is always hard to see our Loved Ones when the 'time' comes no matter the reason for their passing.   There can/are be many other 'reasons' for lingering passage of Loved Ones other than Cancer.  For me, it was dealing/living with Mom's aneorixia, seeing her literally starve herself for years without being able to help.  The 'end' of physical liffe does always come eventually for all of us.  

    Seek mental health (Spiritual/religious) counseling to help you deal with what you are experiencing.   

    Winyan - The Power Within

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