Pardon my french but son a gun, the lump that the doctors said wasn't there

Trubrit said:

Second opinion?

Have you been to see more than one Doctor? 

Where is the lump? I'm forgetting what you must have previously posted. Sorry!

Do they not know how scary anything that happens to our bodies is? And a lump! Well, there's only one place even a normal person (and you know we're not normal) goes to, so yeah, its just natural to be scared.

I'm sorry you're going through this.  It is truly scary to find youself in a good place, because you know theres going to be a shoe dropping to ruin it. 

Keep us posted. 

TRU

And by the way, that's a beautiful pic!!!! You both look happy and wonderful.

JanJan63 said:

Where is the lump? That's got

Where is the lump? That's got to be scary! Poor you, the worrying is so hard. Helen, you're dating? Hooray! I remember you feeling like that would never happen again, that's awesome!

It's on my cervix.  They have me using creams and low dose estrogen and I felt it.  When they first showed me I told them a I felt a lump, no one could feel it.  Now it's clearly there.  I'm too tired to worry.  lol  I am not losing sleep over this until someone says okay lose sleep now.  I need sleep.  Yes I'm dating!  wooo hoo.  It's hard but I'm sure I'll find the right someone one day.  One guy ran for the hills, too bad I really liked him.  Another potential was okay with the ostomy but he mentioned that he once argued with his ex and didn't talk to her for two weeks.  urrrrrhhhhhh (that's the screeching sound of brakes lol).  I had a blow out on a date, that was the best.  We were having a good time walking through the park and my stomach started to really hurt and rumble and boom, bag blew out.  I didn't know what to do so I just put my coat over my middle.  I doubt that hid the smell.  Thankfully it was just a 15 minute ride home. He asked me out again but I said no.  lol  Sorry I just couldn't after that.  It's very frustrating to be in this position so young but I'm pushing myself to go on dates even if nothing comes of it for a few years.  I don't need to tell any of them until it's necessary and hopefully I'll find someone with limited physical abilities as well.  I feel like a little bit of a liar every time I go on a date but sometimes I think, hey maybe they have their own issues and they feel like liars too.  Welcome to the 40+ club.

beaumontdave said:

Sorry Helen, any lump or cyst

Sorry Helen, any lump or cyst is cause for concern in this group. I had a fatty cyst on my back just below my neck. Had been there forever, then it got infected and blew up to baseball size before I finally had it drained and treated, still getting dressings 2 weeks later. Fortunately, it was far enough away from the cancer sites that I didn't worry about some kind of met showing up, yet it still worried me. Your lump would stress anyone who's been through what you have, so I hope it gets resolved quickly, and you can get back to worrying about the guys you meet....................Dave

Thanks Dave.  I made an appt for Tuesday.  After so many hard years it was so nice that my biggest concern was what to tell people on dates to which I decided nothing was the best answer.  Need to know basis.  Thanks to my physical therapist, I've been able to deal with some of the pain through stretching and he discovered that I could get on the recumbent bike with no pain.  It feels so good to be exercising again.  I was starting to see the good side of life again.  Tuesday can't come fast enough, I went to get back on with thinking about other things.  It gets into your brain when you're sleeping and takes hold.  I woke up early today on my day off=(

Trubrit said:

Anal forum

For some reason I popped over to the anal forum and I thought I was in information Heaven.  I haven't encountered anyone on this forum who has or is willing to talk about vaginal stenosis, but I did over on anal. Also found that they suffered the same horrors of radiatoin that I did.  GO ANAL! No wait. Go! Anal!  Ah, that sounds better.   

I know someone who does the pelvic floor physio and I wouldn't go there for the world.  I love my husband, but I am not going that far for anything. So, a sexless marriage is the way I'm going. 

Besides, I'm sick of having personal exams. My Rad Onc calls it exam fatigue, and now doesn't push for a rectal at every apppointment. 

The Pelvic physical therapy is to lift my uterus up so that I'm not sitting on it any more which is quite painful.  Sex is a no go in my world no matter what I do.  I have a prolapsed uterus and other issues which make it undoable.  That part I'm still trying to deal with.  I'm 47 and this happened at 43.  It's still a bit of a life sentence for me, I was in my prime when this all hit (sorry for any men reading this but hey, cards on the table with this disease,).  But I do have to get this uterus lifted for support otherwise my bladder might prolapse because right now there is nothing holding it up and then I'll have incontinence issues.  I refuse to go there!  Absolutely, postively refuse.  So physical therapy it is.  The emotional stuff is a whole different ball game.

I've also gone over to the anal cancer page.  Once in a while there is something useful on that page.  Mostly ostomy stuff.  Everyone has such different things happen with their ostomies, it's hard to find specific issues.  My doctors were fascinated by what my uterus did.  I found out they thought I was having emotional issues, not real physical pain.  That's why it took them two years to figure out that I was sitting on my uterus.   I wasn't so fascinated.  I'm a straight forward person so I found that irritating but hey, they're only human and I spend 1/2 in their offices every 6 months.  So we came up with some strategies to improve my quality of life.  Can't change it so now we're in solution mode.  Let's avoid incontinence!  Step one.