Newly Diagnosed Rectal Cancer - Looking for Support

Such a trial for one who has already suffered so much.  I am sorry to hear about your husband's passing. You are right, it does seem cruel that you and your children now have to face this challenge. 

Roll with the feeling you are having. It is a trememdous shock to mind and body. These first weeks are filled with dark thoughts and trepidation. What does the future hold? Is there a future? All of these feeling are normal, and you are allowed to wallow in self pity if you want, to grieve and and to cry and hide and roll up into to ball.....for a while, and then move past that and get ready for the fight.  

I promise you, once you get a firm plan of action, you will jump right into fight mode. Knowing that you are moving forward and doing something about this disease is great help.  Once the plan is set out, surgery, followed by treatment or treament followed by surgery, you will be fighting full on. 

Being positive (once you have allowed yourself that time to absorb the shock) is a huge bonus. For some of us being positive is easy, for others it takes a bit of work, but it is important. 

My biggest bit of advice as you move forward is to take this one day at a time. Don't jump ahead. If surgery is the plan, then concentrate on that and on recovery, and then, when its time for treatment, you can put your energies into that. 

Good luck with your future appointments. Let us know how they go and what the paln is. We are here to support you all of the way. 

TRU

I'm so sorry that you're here but glad you found the forum. It can ground you like nothing else can. There's nothing anyone can say that will make you feel better at this point, it's something you have to get through. And you will. The shock will wear off, the fear will be lessened when you get more information, and you'll just buckle down and prepare for the fight. Be careful of Googling because you will get all kinds of wrong or outdated information and it will scare you with old or inaccurate statistics.

You will find a number of stories on here about people with stage four cancer that have survived and are doing well. Of course, one thing you will discover is that the treatments and the response to them varies widely so you can't go by someone else's experience and expect it to be the same as yours. It would be so much easier if that were the case.

In your case I'd expect that they'll either do radiation and chemo to shrink it and then surgery or surgery first depedning on the size of the tumour. Mine also wasn't graded until I had surgery and they couldn't tell me if it had spread at all. I just went along with what the doctors told me and did what I had to do. I wasn't on this board yet and I'm not good at researching things so I had no other resources. Just remember what my surgeon told me at the start of this. You make the decisions and you don't have to do anything you don't want to.

Best of luck with this.

Jan 

Sorry you have to joing the club that noone wants to be a part of.  You didn't put in your post about how they found this ulcerated mass, but I assume it had to be through a colonoscopy.  What were the biopsy results from this procedure?  Was it the biopsy results that resulted in the cancer diagnosis?  Also, do they plan on having an MRI done?  I didn't have rectal cancer just colon cancer.  But from those I have been following who have had rectal cancer, I think all of them have had an MRI of the area in question.  An MRI is better at imaging that area to get a better sense of depth of penetration and if there might by any lymph node involvement.  From what I've read, it's the MRI results which provide their doctors the basis on pre staging you for rectal cancer.  Rectal cancers seems like the only colorectal cancer which a person will get prestaged.

While, it's good news the radiologist and your doctor think the lung nodules are not metastasis or cancer, I would be pushing to get a PET scan done; more importantly the MRI should be the priority.  While a PET scan isn't a definitive diagnostic tool, it provides another data point in your treatment.  It's good to have it prior to any treatment as a baseline just like the CT scan and definitely an MRI.  Also, you haven't mentioned any CEA tests being done.  You need to get this done now too.  Many people don't know what their CEA was before surgery and treatment so there's no initial baseline on where you were prior to surgery and treatment and if CEA is a good indicator for you.

So please push to get an MRI and CEA test done as your first priorities and then see if you can also get a PET scan after bringing up the prior diagnostic procedures.

We all welcome you, but we know that no one wants to be here.  But here you will be safe and loved and have those that have gone before to help you on the path.  

The first few weeks are the roughest.  We all went through the fear, devistations, sorrow, etc of it.  Let yourself feel whatever you need.  It is all normal.  And if you need to ask if something is normal, ask us.  Nothing is a silly question.  Once you get your treatment plan, if you are anything like me, you will feel like you have a path and something you can do.  You will know that you are helping to keep things going. 

I too am a single parent, I have a 10 year daughter but I am sorry for your loss added into this.  I can only imagine how much that is making this more difficult.  I know how scary it is with them having to face this as well.  Keep things simple for them.  Be honest but just keep it simple.  Kids are strong and you will be amazed what will happen.  For me, it made me even more grateful and in love with my child.  I really started cherishing every single moment.  She and I are so close because of our cancer battle.  And it is "our" battle because she is there helping.  Just love on your kids as much as you can!!  They will appreciate it (maybe not as much the older ones, but deep down they do) and they will remember that.  They will know how awesomely strong their mom is.  They will know too how to be strong. 

Please post anything you need.  Post what areas are concerning you.  We are here for you! 

Know that you are not alone even if you feel like it. Many of us have had the

same feelings and emotions that you are now feeling. I was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer, but

I'm still here. I actually wrote my story "How I Beat Stage Four Colon Cancer." If you want to read it. It's on my blog.

I pray my experience will give you some hope and comfort.  blessed39

Hi there,, I had colo/rectal caner.  There is clinical staging via Ultrasound, cat scans... that do indicate if the tumor has went through the colon wall.  Then there is pathological staging with surgery and test ran on surrounding tissue and nodes taken from around the tumor.  They will most likely treat you with chemo and radiaion to shrink tumor mass and kill the cancerous cells before surgery.  Then you should take 'after chemo' to kill any micro cells that may have traveled elsewhere.   I was scared, uncertain....  But let me tell you, though no one is the exact same in their experiences, I can't believe how well I tolerated my treatment.  I was stage 3, in pain, and thought I was going to lose the fight.  But I am here,, still have my hair, still doing the after chemo.  They got all the cancer out, and I believe this will be a distant memory.   You can beat this cancer.   I was treated with Xeloda pill form along with radiation, then surgery, now 'cleaning up' with my adjevant chemo (after chemo)  You have to get 'meaner' than your fears.  You have so much to live for.  The first thing I did was go to my minister and asked for prayer and annointing,, I asked not that the cancer just be 'taken' away, but that God would give me the grace, strength to fight, and peace to get through the darkvalley.   He did just that.   God bless you, stay strong.    ~Cammy