My son has breast cancer

My son has stage 4 breast cancer and has now developed leptomenengial carcinomatosis. The outlook is very bleak. He's had WBR, taken Taxotere, now he's on Xeloda and has an Omaya Resevoir in his head so they can administer cyterobine directly into his brain and spinal canal. Glenn is 44 years old and is bigger than life . The docs and nurses always leave his room laughing. He is my first born and my buddy. I should be counting my blessings. We have been fortunate to have one of the strongest support networks you could ask for, Glenn's 3 siblings come daily to help with his care and wellbeing and provide tremendous emotional help for the both of us. My husband, Glenn's stepdad  is retired and sees to his care during the day while the rest of us work. My concern is when our journey ends, I won't be able to go on either. I know that I have family that loves and needs me, but other than my sisters ( who have also been there every step of the way) this is the longest relationship I've had and I don't know where to put all of the love I have for him. His wife left when he was diagnosed, so in the middle of the night whens he's scared or hurting, I'm the one he reaches out to. I'm his mama I dont't know what to do if I loose that job. He told me he was sorry and when I replied " For what?" He said "Because I know this hurts your feelings and I worry about you being sad" That's my Glenn. I feel selfish for worring about myself, but my heart is breaking and I'm afraid that the pain is going to be more than I can handle'

Thanks