Advice and help needed. Please.

Noellesmom said:

First of all

I feel as though you understand that cancer is very difficult for both the patient and the caregiver. Everyone reacts differently to the situation.

A successful relationship requires a strong foundation. While you had a good start, it is hard to say how things would have gone had he not become ill.

It is important that you separate your instinct to caregive from your desire for a relationship. A caregiver must protect himself from the roller coaster cancer takes a relationship on.

Take a step back and breathe. Nothing has to or will be decided immediately. Your boyfriend needs to focus on his cancer care and you need to take care of yourself. Continue to reach out to him and offer support but focus on caring for yourself.

Long distance relationships are difficult enough. It definitely takes two. In this case, it sounds like only one of you is pulling their weight.

Thank you very much for your response. Yes, I agree. Before I came to be there with him during his treatement, I was still thinking of us as of a couple. Right now, though, I am just afraid to lose any contact with him because I simply care about what's going on. Regardless the status of our relationship.

You are right, I will continue to support him. It has never been a question. I am just hurting because treatement isn't working as good as doctors thought it would. Because I can't imagine how he's feeling and every time I'm thinking of what I can do to make him feel a bit better I realise there's not much I can do. And it's difficult not to think about it so I end up thinking about it every time I have time to think.