Overwhelmed... (newly diagnosed)

A Jouranl helped me-i got one as a gift. I felt silly writing in it for awhile-but in hindsight i was helpful.

I also took friends or family with me to some Dr appts. *such as procedures ,things that my brain would go on overload for-2-3 more sets of ears helped.

aisling8 said:

Three months

I waited three months between diagnosis and surgery and thought I'd go insane with worrying about the delay. I pictured it spreading up and down my spine, all over my body. That was six years ago. I completely understand your fears.

xo

Victoria

 

I was diagnosed December 16, 2016 and had surgery January 23. I too, felt every little ache and pain was the cancer spreading. I have a horrible feeling that I will NEVER get over this paralyzing fear. I am a worrier. I wish I were not! My fear is that I will never be able to enjoy another day of my life, with cancer looming in the background. I feel that in some cases, heavy duty depression is worse than physical pain. I guess I am almost scared for my sanity ~ Not to mention cancer spreading. It is good to know there are fellow sufferers out there!

mollymiller said:

How long from diagnosis to surgery?

I was diagnosed December 16, 2016 and had surgery January 23. I too, felt every little ache and pain was the cancer spreading. I have a horrible feeling that I will NEVER get over this paralyzing fear. I am a worrier. I wish I were not! My fear is that I will never be able to enjoy another day of my life, with cancer looming in the background. I feel that in some cases, heavy duty depression is worse than physical pain. I guess I am almost scared for my sanity ~ Not to mention cancer spreading. It is good to know there are fellow sufferers out there!

 

I felt the same way for about a year after my diagnosis. I still think about it often but it doesn't consume my every thought anymore and it doesn't make me cringe with fear anymore either. (I was diagnosed in May 2015.) I imagine that one day I will realize that I haven't thought about it in days. That will be a victory to me. I hope that you will start to feel a little more at ease after you have had a chance to adjust to your new reality. I thought I would never feel normal again but there are definitely times (and more often than not) that I do feel normal.

Glad your surgery is over for you.  Take it slow and allow your body to heal properly.  Listen to the docs and ask them all the questions you want and can.  A/C chemo is rough but it will kick that cancer's butt.  The docs will give you info on it and tell you ways to combat the symptoms the chemo will give you.  and your Pink ladies on here can help you too.  It is a fight but worth the fight to keep pressing on.  Hugs.

Ask your doctor if you qualify for targeted therapy?  with this treatment they try to shrink the tumor down small enough to where they can save the breast but remove just the mass and surrounding tissue.  then radiation is recommended.   I was told by a very renounced doctor from md anderson that a mastectomy does not guarantee that cancer won't recur

unknown said:

lessons learnt

Hi there, what i have learnt throughout this awful process is that you or the professionals can never really be sure that you wont get it back. That is the awful raw truth. And because someone has had it before you think that you are more likely to get it back than someone who hasnt had it. I found it most diificult when all my treatment had finished. While having treatment you have things to focus on, emotions are mixed up, life isn't normal. When that all stops you are left with trying to live your life again. The truth is your life will never be the same again. You can make the best of it but it will never be the same as it was. I am getting better each month at dealing with it. It is a case of accepting what happened and trying to live your life again without it controlling your every thought and action. I still have worries every time i have a niggle somewhere and i think thats what it will always be like. I am sure others will agree. I have to accept that i wont be routinely tested unless i get a problem, that is just how it works here. I maybe could pay privately but would cost numerous thousands of pounds every year and even then i am not sure they would do it as i was constantly being told alot of tests give you radiation that we want to avoid. I cant change what has happened and i cant ever guarantee my future health,so i can only adjust to my new life. Take care of yourself and remember there are alot of survivors too xxxxx

Yearly mammogram oct. 2016,  biopsy Nov. 2016  , lumpectomy Dec.2016,  radiation twice a day for a week,  now scheduled for chemo port valentine's day next week with chemo taxotere and cytoxan to soon follow. My cancer was stage 1, estrogen eating and fast growing,  caught early size of a pea,  lymph nodes were ok.     Have had ct of chest, abdomen,  yesterday a full body bone scan.

I feel numb !    I don't know what to think, feel,   nor ask !    No use asking why 

Chemo has me so scared !     Keep finding myself asking after what all is to come,   will chemo make,  leave me worse!  After radiation and chemo , and an estrogen blocker for 5 years,   I still have a 15%  chance that cancer somewhere in my body could return !   I had the genome test.  Number came back 29.     Can I live with knowing this!     If cancer should return in my life they can only treat,  not cure but,  guess this is what I have been doing so far. 

I bought a couple of head scarves on ebay  to prepare for what's ahead.    Right now with hair they are cute  BUT I told myself !   Will I be able to handle what is to come  !   As tears are now pouring down my cheeks.     

I'm so scared 

Thank you for listening,  for sharing 

Kathysuej said:

Treatment Delayed & Staph Infection!!! UGH!

It's been well over a month since my mastectomy and I STILL haven't been able to start treatment. I've had so many complications! I've had issues with necrotic skin and not enough skin on left side. My plastic surgeon is worried he may have to remove the expanders and forego implants, leaving me with very limited options for reconstruction. I may not be able to do any at all. Oh how I pray that doesn't happen.

I just got out of the hospital a week ago. I got a Staph Infection! I started getting this incredible pain in my left side/rib cage area. Started feeling just really horrible and developed a fever of 102.7. It was awful!
See, I have this open wound (hole) on the left side that I have to pack twice a day with gauze. The hole is from the stitches breaking open one of the last times they cut away dead skin from the incision area. The big hole and the JP drain (yes, I STILL have a JP drain on my left) are where I got the Staph infection. It was horrible!!! Of course, all this has postponed my treatment. They won't start Chemo until I'm healed up from all this other stuff! 

As of right now, the hole is closing up some. Instead of going 2+ inches deep, now it's only 1/2"-3/4" deep. I still have the drain. Pain is still a constant, but I've finished the antibiotics and haven't gotten any fever again (good sign).
I have an appointment in an hour and a half, he may remove the drain, we'll see! I'm hoping everything goes well and there's no more hospitalizations or surgeries in my near future! I also hope I'm able to start my treatment soon. It's scaring me having it all delayed so much!

I got an infection after my surgery too.  It was awful.  My incisons burst open in 4 places and all this ucky infection just covered me.  It ruined my mattress, it ruined my gown.  Weekly office calls to keep a check and treat it.  It was nasty.  I cried and cried.  It put off my chemo treatments for close to 2 months.  Dial antibacterial soap helped with the healing.   That was a year ago.  I will be done with my chemo treatments mid July.  It has been a rough trip, but I am still kicken and fighting like a girl.  Keeping you in my prayers. 

hugs,

Annie