How to keep a positive attitude?

Hi Dana,

I can relate to all you're saying... Distinguishing "ordinary" pain from cancer recurrence is at the top of my current preoccupations. Keeping calm during the long wait after each test is getting increasingly difficult - not easier - for me every time.

Anyone who has ever burnt or cut him/herself with a pressing iron, knife, or other instrument becomes wary and extra-cautious, as no one wants to repeat the experience. So some amount of fear is to be expected in our situation, and since the harm came from within, we have got to learn to trust our bodies again.

I don't believe there is any recipe for sailing gracefully through cancer and its treatment and knowing that a recurrence is always possible. There are "tricks" though, such as attending a yoga/meditation class (for the long-term management of those emotions, and also for regaining control of your body), seeing friends, watching a movie - anything pleasurable that will shift your focus - when the wait/worry becomes more difficult to deal with.

I am sure that simply posting a message here can provide some degree of relief.

Talking about your fears with your doctors may also enable you to get clear answers that could help put those fears at bay. You say that your cancer was all gone after your fourth infusion. Now, that is an encouragement to have a positive outlook for the time being at least!

And if the anxiety is too difficult to manage, there are medications that can help. Antidepressants are just one other way of helping you go on, if your doctors find that your mood is durably or significantly affected. It seems to me that in the end, only the result counts. It doesn't matter if you need some chemical help to get through a rougher bit, so long as you keep going on.

Have a very happy and serene Christmas.
PBL

Dana,

 How does everyone keep a positive attitude ?  Many people don't.  Only a tiny, tiny fraction of the lymphoma patients in the US use these Boards. A strong percentage of the people I meet with serious cancers (of any variety) are bitter, angry.

People approach cancer with the same values, beliefs, and world-view that they approach everything else with.  People with strong views on life have a strong reference; people without values have none.

I was crushed essentially to death in a car crash years ago.  People asked me all the time thereafter, "Did it make you value life more?"   I tell them, "No. I was a student of philosophy (B.A. degree) and the ultimate questions before the crash.  If anything, it made me more like I already was. I always valued life as sacred, and sacred things cannot become more sacred."  I also was quite religious, but this is a secular forum, and I will not share that aspect of things.

When asked the other most common question, "Do you ask 'why me ?' "  I respond with: I ask instead:  "Why would it not be me ? Why would it be someone else instead ?"  Is it better for it to be the guy down the street ?

Clinically, you have a very treatable disease. Decades ago, it was not.  MCL has more new effective drugs than any other form of NHL in the last few years.  You very likely have a long time left, most of which, likely, will be good and comfortable years.   I hope that helps some.

Crushed like road-kill on the highway, two cancers behind me.  I recall the state motto of SC (in Latin):  Whilst I breath, I hope.   I feel good today, and if another malignancy presents itself, I'll spit in its face and begin to get about the business of fighting it.

Bless your holiday, and bless you,

max

I am now NED (no evidence of disease) since more than four years.

Thinking of my family helped me through with the disease. I wanted to keep my spririts up for their sake, so they would feel as OK as possible.

Sten

....for using your space, I just want to say that Roquie, you are are a beautiful, caring person who is still suffering from very personal issues, I think about you all the time and and pray for your peace.

     Dana, sorry again for your space.  I think you pretty well answered your own question without realizing it, you asked how we take one day at a time and that is the answer, we literally take one day at a time, which becomes a few days and then weeks, then months, and hopefully years.  It works very well for us until something pops up then it comes flooding back.  Then we  usually get another hope and go on.  I think the secret is you live in the day but keep the future on the back burner so that you are always prepared.

Hang in there, you have a friend in each one of us,

Becky

i so understand your question...I was driving myself crazy and depressed worrying about very little thing..I just could not get out of it so I went to my gp and just laid it on the line and that I needed help..I know you said you don't want to do antidepressants,but for me they have been a blessing..I'm not going around every day thinking I'm going to die, and for the time being I am not worrying and it has been wonderful...I hope your able to get some peace back ...blessings to you hon.

unknown said:

I can't argue with either

I can't argue with either po18guy or certainly not Max in their points of view. I have great respect for both of them.   I believe its important to "hate" (for lack of a better word - my vocabulary is limited) cancer and your situation. In warfare, people find comfort in hating their enemy. They could never do those things they are required to do otherwise. You must want to kill the cancer and change your situation. Be the hammer, not the nail. Certain philosophies enable people to become comfortable with and justify any situation. I am not like that. I am also not religious  -not anti religious - . I just don't seek eternal life or use the promise of such to help me tolerate a given situation. I accept my mortality. In any case, we lymphomaniacs, as one person on here called us, have to find comfort wherever we can. It will take time but you will find what works for you. 

Your words just changed my life. "Be the hammer, not the nail" I can envision it and I already feel stronger. I admit up to this minute I felt just like the nail - blow after blow after blow. Now I can see the treatments as a hammer, my hammer. Amazing what a change of perspective can do. I will be eternally thankful for your post.