New here- dad has stage 4 colon cancer and i'm away in grad school

Who knows how long your dad's tumour has been growing inside of him, so how can they say five years.  

Most of us stage III and IV's get the 'five year' expiration date stamped on us. You will find many here who have surpassed that five years and are going strong.  Sure, we have members who pass away, and some have been battling less than the five years, some more, but there are also many who are rolling along just fine, like Traci who posted above. 

It is natural to worry, especailly when your dad has just been diagnosed. There's a time to grieve the diagnosis, but then you must move on. The last thing your dad wants is to be treated like he is going to die. Like Traci said, make plans for the future, for many years of joy. 

Your dad's a lucky man, to have a daughter who is willing to reach out and ask for help.  I wish you both a long and prosperous future. 

TRU

He's had the first and most important part of the treatment which is the surgery. Anything else is secondary. Five years? How could they possibly know that? because they looked up an average? Whatever. Nobody can know how this will go. No doctor has the right to assume anything when it comes to length of life as previous posts will attest to.

Just over two years ago I had a pulmonary embolism, a blood clot to my lung. I had at least five cardiac arrests, that's the minimum number I've been told, or as many as seven. I ended up with a stroke, brain swelling, kidney failure, I can't remember what else. The ICU specialist in neurological issues asked my husband and daughter if they should keep reviving me because the statistics showed that I only had a three in a thousand chance of surving with my mental abilities intact. He said I likely wouldn't survive but if I did I probably wouldn't know them and would probably be in a nursing home for the rest of my life. He even said that because I've had cancer it might be a kinder way to let me go.

Well, I beat those odds. I did survive and I'm exactly the same as I was mentally. My point is that odds are made to be broken when it comes to our health. They just don't know, they really don't. As has been said so often on this forum, unless his doctor is going to show up with a gun in the timeframe given, he doesn't really know what your dad's journey will be. I was told a couple of months ago by my new oncologist that I might have ten years to live. I was gutted at first. Its a fair amount of time but it would mean I'd be gone by age 63. That's pretty young. It took me a few weeks to get back into fighting mode and think 'nope, I'll show you'. Then the other day I happened to be reading reviews on my onc and a few people mentioned that she is bad for not fully looking up a patient's history and that she's bad for telling people they have less time than they actually have.  

I hope your dad will be around for a long time. As said previously, there are advances being made all the time. Keep thinking positively and encourage your dad to do so as well. It's the best thing we have to fight with.

Jan