My husband is home full time now on Disability since 06/2015

cheatinlil
cheatinlil Member Posts: 197
in Caregivers #1

 

I am wondering how unusual this is. My husband is home full time now on Disability since 06/2015.  He usually naps for a couple hours every day.  There are days when he takes 2 naps a day and there are rare days when he takes none.  I have encouraged him to take up a hobby or do volunteer work.  His life revolves around just going to dr. appointments but mostly staying home.  I know he is not well enough to have a job because he would miss too much.  He says he enjoys just being at home.  Sometimes I go to church or other functions by myself because he doesn’t feel up to going.  I’m wondering why he is not climbing the walls and bored to death.  I’ve read about the dying process and have read that a lot of time with terminal illness the patient pulls back and even gets to the point where they don’t want visitors.  I’m concerned he may be sicker than he is letting on to be.  I don’t think he is depressed.  He just seems content.  Has anyone else experienced this? 

 

Comments

  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #2
    Kind of

    Jim has been on disability for a few years. He is on multiple pain killers his health declines, plateaus, declines, plateaus.

    In 2015 he had 52 doctor's appts: today's was the 47th for this year. He can't drive because of the pain meds I take off from work. 

    I don't think Jim has much energy but just sitting will kill a person. I've gone to church without Jim for several years.    

  • cheatinlil
    cheatinlil Member Posts: 197
    edited December 2016 #3
    THanks for your feedback

    THanks for your feedback Noellesmom.  I am trying to get use to my new normal and I'm always trying to figure out what the future holds.  It does help to hear others experience even though no 2 are identical.  I"m glad I'm not alone in this journey.  I'm sad to hear of you and your husbands struggle. 

  • imyaya1952
    imyaya1952 Member Posts: 23 Member
    #4
    Same Here

    My husband has also decided to just loll around.  It has been over a year now.  I know he could have more energy but chooses not to do anything.  I know he is probably depressed with having Multiple Myeloma and his hip being bad. But it is hard as we are in our mid 60s and I had looked forward to retirement. Now I do most things alone also.

  • cheatinlil
    cheatinlil Member Posts: 197
    edited December 2016 #5
    imyaya1952 thanks for your

    imyaya1952 thanks for your feedback.  I have told my husband he feels well enough to do the things he wants to do but not well enough to do the things I want to do.  It helps to know I'm not alone in this and others are going through the same thing with me.  It also helps to know other patients are going through the same thing he is going through too.  It is an interesting journey we are on and I guess I just need to appreciate our together time at home for however long as it lasts. 

  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #6
    Sometimes I think

    Illness just magnifies person's personality.  I get having some of the 'me' syndrome when one has been mortally ill. I don't get being completely selfish.  

  • imyaya1952
    imyaya1952 Member Posts: 23 Member
    #7
    I agree

    I agree with you Noellesmom.  I am seeing a side of my husband that I don't want to.  Yes I believe he is very selfish as he also has energy to do things HE wants to. Laying around most of the time is depleting his muscles also.

  • cheatinlil
    cheatinlil Member Posts: 197
    edited December 2016 #8
    Noellesmom and imyaya1952, I

    Noellesmom and imyaya1952, I think about what I would do if the tables were turned.  Of course we don't really know unless we were truly in that situation.  But I definately would not go back to work and work until I died.  I think my time at home would be very different though.  But we are also very different people.  Who knows, it is hard to say. 

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