Gives up before necessary

My husband was diagnosed two years ago with multiple myeloma after his right hip and pelvis collapsed.  He was in severe pain and underwent radiation for about three months. During that time I did everything for him.  When the radiation was done and his tumor gone and he was no longer in pain or on pain meds he was left with a limp needing a cane.  However he spends most days in bed all day. He has over the last year become mean, sarcastic and self centered. He refuses to use the cane most times and between that and his lack of grooming lately has made him an embaressment. He is also very mean and obnoxious to me and others.  Part of it is the steroid but the rest is his choice. Doctors are not any help as the steroids are part of the treatment, but not everyone reacts bad to them.  I have seen him able to control his actions but he chooses not to most of the time. Therefore I am leary to take him anywhere in public, which is fine because I can't get him out of bed most days anyway. I read about other MM patients still working and leading full lives. I feel this is a choice he has made not just for himself but for me also as we are newly retired. I continue to do everything as he wont even carry things in from the car when we arrive home.Saying anything to him just causes him to go into a furry of anger and name calling.  I feel guilty by how angry I am at him as I watch him get weaker every day because of lack of any excersize or movement. I know he is depressed but he refuses any treatment also. He has ruined both of our retirements by choice I feel and I resent it. I got the worse of better or worse and I am angry to the point that I cannot even feel bad for him anymore. Has anyone else been thru this. ? Thank You.