Getting through the holidays

I wish I could fast-forward through the next six weeks.  When we are at homes of family & friends, I can go on auto pilot and just smile and nod politely.  However my husband who is nearing end of treatment wants to keep to our annual routine of hosting his family at our house for Thanksgiving.  I couldn't believe it.  I was hoping he wouldn't want to do it this year.  Since his diagnosis, I have not done much around the house and the last thing I feel like doing is preparing the house for guests and playing host to his family who have been unsupportive and mostly non-existent.               

I want to run away.  I really wanted to cancel it, but then I wondered where does that leave me?  If my husband wants to do this, does it only leave me more alone, more bitter, more angry and more frustrated?       

So, I spent all day yesterday cleaning the house and ordered a turkey.  I told him to call his sisters with the side dishes to bring because I am not doing those this year.  I have to rise to the occasion for my husband.  I have to be polite to the people who have never reached out to me since his diagnosis.  One of his sisters cut-off her husband's family five years ago, refuses to have her in-laws in her house and refuses to visit them out of state.  I'm choosing not to go down that road.  I think such dismissiveness reflects a lack of regard to her husband.  I don't want to do that to Stephen.  

His cancer has a high chance of recurrence.  I am thankful he is getting through this phase.  (Thank you Lord, thank you.)  I don't know what tomorrow/next month/next year will bring.  While I dislike what I am going to do and the people I will be around, I am praying I am doing the right thing and hoping to keep a positive attitude to at least have a peaceful day.