Don't care for my doctor

Tonita
Tonita Member Posts: 197 Member
edited October 2016 in Head and Neck Cancer #1

I had a malignant tumor removed from my tongue March of this year.  I had the surgery done at Yale and I really liked the surgeon.  At my three month visit with him, I complained about my tongue being misformed and he said that it would be simple to fix in a one day surgery.  I decline at that point because I really wasn't up for another surgery at that point.

Since then I have moved and now have my care at Dartmouth in New Hampshire.  My new doctor said that he could also do the surgery.  That was at my first visit with him.  He also sent me to speech therapy.

At my second visit with him just recently, he is hesitant on the surgery and thinks speech therapy and time will help.  In the meantime, my tongue is really irritated, inflamed and really sore by the end of the day.

But what really upset me about him was what he said about my smoking.  I quit 5 months ago but he basically said that I brough this on myself but praised me for quitting.  I don't know about all smokers, but you don't have to state the obvious, especially if you started smoking way back when there were no warnings and everyone smoked.  We get it.  We know.

I just think that by saying that, he really doesn't think my care is as important as perhaps a non-smoker's.  He said "you'll always be at risk for oral and throat cancer" (because I smoked).  I wonder what they say to people who get cancer and never smoked or drank.

Anyway, I'm really bothered by his attitude.  Has anyone dropped their doctor?  How did you go about it?

 

Comments

  • swopoe
    swopoe Member Posts: 492
    #2
    We love our Doctor. My

    We love our Doctor. My husband never smoke (not even once) or drank, except maybe 3 beers a year. But he got tongue cancer. His dad has smoked a pipe for decades (his dad is now 71), but no cancer for him! Funny how things work out, isn't it? When my husband was first diagnosed, we were mad. I mean, why would he get cancer and his dad, the smoker, not get it? My husband did everything right. And then we would go to the hospital and see people smoking and get even more mad. Just being honest. 

    But those feelings were not healthy. As our ENT said, you can't go back and change the past. You can only move forward with the future. You quit. That is what is important. Yes, you may be always at risk. But so is everyone who has been diagnosed with H&N cancer regardless of smoking status. 

    You have been through a lot, as we all have. But I am really proud of for quitting. My husband's dad still smokes his damn pipe, even knowing what his son has gone though, and that makes me the angriest. But I can't control what he he does. We can only move forward with our own lives.

    If you really are unhappy with your doctor, call your hospital system for a referral to another one. You will be with this doc for a while- you deserve to feel respected. 

  • Drivingdaisy
    Drivingdaisy Member Posts: 263
    #3
    My Opinion

    Hi Tonita,  My opinion.  Many of Us do not care for Our Cancer Drs Attitude.  You would think they would be more sympathetic but actually, many, the opposite.  Had to accept a fact I could not change......kind of like having Cancer.  With that said, My story was/is.....I just turned 59. Many can't believe my age.  Yes, 40 yr smoker, drank with the best of them, crappy diet, many stomach problems.  Went in for a sinus infection came out with left tonsil possible small base of tongue , Stage 3, SCC, HPV 16+ Cancer, & a sinus infection and many, many allergies I didn't know I had causing all my stomach problems since I was 16.  Did not cry with the diagnosis, said hey, what happens when yo do not treat your body right.  Began researching HPV, heaven forbit a sexual disease and married almost 40 yrs.  what I started learning.......this Virus is NOT nice and at the rate it is hitting young & older, healthy or not is rising dramaticalLy.  We'll carry this, sometimes for 20-30 yrs.  There are over 100 strains of this but 16 is a Nasty when stress and immune is low.  It will easily take over breast, prostrate, lung (which is to becoming also a factor from HPV), cervical cancers and IS the worse treatment and side effect/reoccurrence cancer Out there.  Soon, the Drs will report findings and the Public will maybe realize NO ONE is exempt.  I was lucky,I was honest with ALL my Drs and was not condemned for my smoking just told me it didn't help but probably did push it.  Ok, over, move on.  You Have read how many on this forum are going through this have never smoked.  So I'd someone says to you...."Your Smoking gave you Cancer" just say to yourself **** you and move away from the Negativity.  Now it is your fight and positivity to fight this yours and you need your strength and not negative attitudes.  Yes, this can reoccurs, yes Radiation is the gift that keeps on giving, chemo screws with you, and where this hits Us is the most important area since it is responsible for so much our body does to survive.  It truly is an insidious  Cancer.  Side effects are a life time.  It's a fact...except and work everything you can to feel ok. All you can do.  I am completing my 8th month from, yes fro, diagnosis.  There is hope but I realize it could be back next month.  Do I dwell...No because I can not change that fact. So the One Day at a Time is so true and screw those who are not supportive, helpful, and positive.  You will do so much better without bs.  Sorry long winded but, my Opinion.  Always here to listen....hugs, Lisa

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