sex after hysterectomy and chemo

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Comments

  • debrajo
    debrajo Member Posts: 1,095 Member
    #42
    EZLiving66 said:

    I'm so sorry, Debra.  How can

    I'm so sorry, Debra.  How can your husband think this is somehow your fault?  That's just crazy!  I am lucky because I have never felt so loved and protected and it just breaks my heart you have to go through this alone.  (((Debra)))

    Love,

    Eldri

    @ Eldri, et al

    I happen to be married to a man who had never had an illness in his life!  His brother told me they all(his family) have superior genes!  You've heard the old song"Lord it,s hard to be Humble(when your perfect in everyway)?  Well, that the whole bunch of them!  I have dark times when I think I've wasted many years.  We were engaged right ofter my 15th birthday and married exactly two weeks after my 18th birthday, so I should have seen the  writting on the wall, but I was RAISED this way, I think I married my Daddy, just not as bad!

    @ Annabellrose, I hope I explained it correctly.  I kept asking, and searching for answers and like you I was told it all looked good, all healed.  Well, yes, but forever altered. Healed, yes, the same,uhmmm, not even close!

    I have had the very thought of the postrate cancer, God forgive me!  LOL!  I have to tell y'all a funny although CSN might boot me off.  I live across the road from an Ultra religious, Very, Very Pentacostal lady and have for years.  She spends a LOT of time praying for this or that.  She has a husband that makes mine look like a saint!  She told me that she was praying for her husbands,uhmm "member" to dry up and shrivel!  She came over the other day and told me that God had answered her prayer.  I wondered which one since she prays all the time.  She told me "God has shriveled up her husband manhood praise God"!  She was just pissed the He had taken 25 years to do it!  It was so comical, and shocking that a religious person would ask for such a thing....Now I kinda know!  LOL!

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,814 Member
    #43
    molimoli said:

    Cindi you are just as crazy as I get sometimes.

    I still laugh at the orajel thing that took on a life of it's own ,you will be remembered for that gift of laughter my sister, did you have to replant that in my head now, LOL,LOL.

    Moli

    Yep!

    Moli, you are right.... I am crazy.

    AND, I laugh at my own jokes too!  lol

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,483 Member
    #44
    debrajo said:

    @ Eldri, et al

    I happen to be married to a man who had never had an illness in his life!  His brother told me they all(his family) have superior genes!  You've heard the old song"Lord it,s hard to be Humble(when your perfect in everyway)?  Well, that the whole bunch of them!  I have dark times when I think I've wasted many years.  We were engaged right ofter my 15th birthday and married exactly two weeks after my 18th birthday, so I should have seen the  writting on the wall, but I was RAISED this way, I think I married my Daddy, just not as bad!

    @ Annabellrose, I hope I explained it correctly.  I kept asking, and searching for answers and like you I was told it all looked good, all healed.  Well, yes, but forever altered. Healed, yes, the same,uhmmm, not even close!

    I have had the very thought of the postrate cancer, God forgive me!  LOL!  I have to tell y'all a funny although CSN might boot me off.  I live across the road from an Ultra religious, Very, Very Pentacostal lady and have for years.  She spends a LOT of time praying for this or that.  She has a husband that makes mine look like a saint!  She told me that she was praying for her husbands,uhmm "member" to dry up and shrivel!  She came over the other day and told me that God had answered her prayer.  I wondered which one since she prays all the time.  She told me "God has shriveled up her husband manhood praise God"!  She was just pissed the He had taken 25 years to do it!  It was so comical, and shocking that a religious person would ask for such a thing....Now I kinda know!  LOL!

    OMG, I was truly "laughing

    OMG, I was truly "laughing out loud" when I read that last paragraph of yours!!!  Especially that she had prayed for TWENTY FIVE years!!!  

    I'm not religious, so I guess I would have just used a knife (I'm just kidding!!).

    Love,

    Eldri

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,814 Member
    #45
    Annabella Rose said:

    This is so true Cindi.

    The internal exams are awful! It will be a year in April I believe since my last treatment and I stopped using the dilator about 2 months ago because the pain never got any better. Then at my office visit my doctor said to stop using the dilator because I was all healed inside so no need. I don't know who or what to believe in the medical field. I know since I stopped using the dilator I'm not aching in my verging and pelvic region as much. Sex is not even a thought at this point in my life.

    Annabella

    I wonder if most of the doctors even understand what we are trying to describe.

    I will say that my Radiologist is the first and only doctor that has tried to help. He is the warmest, kindest doctor I have ever had. I feel very fortunate for that. Even before I opted to go forward with the Brachy, he offered a prescription to help with my problem. I haven't tried it yet, but plan to after I get over all of this cancer treatment stuff. And, he uses a prescription level lidocaine that works great prior to my brachytherapy. I have had no pain with my first 3 treatments. (2 to go!)  I continue to question why our GYNs don't offer this prior to our exams. It is so easy to apply and could even be given to us to apply ahead of time.  I understand it may not be a viable option if a pap will be done. But, exams only - no excuse to hurt us. Sorry, I know I keep harping on this particular subject!

    Really glad that your pain is getting better. Hopefully, it will go completely away before too long.

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi

  • Soup52
    Soup52 Member Posts: 908 Member
    #46
    My husband is a saint. We

    My husband is a saint. We haven't had sex in a long time. Way too painful! I just have one more internal radiation and that is very painful itself. My radiology oncologist has a terrible bedside manner so I get no sympathy from him.

  • Sandy3185
    Sandy3185 Member Posts: 229 Member
    #47
    Soup52 said:

    My husband is a saint. We

    My husband is a saint. We haven't had sex in a long time. Way too painful! I just have one more internal radiation and that is very painful itself. My radiology oncologist has a terrible bedside manner so I get no sympathy from him.

    Sorry to hear that!

    Soup52 that is really unacceptable! It is his responsibility to make sure that you are comfortable. There are things he can do to ensure that. I'm sure Cindi will be able to give you more information about that. My rad/onc was wonderful- he took the time to talk to me and answer all my questions, made sure I was comfortable every step of the way. I know you have only one treatment left (Thank God!) but please don't let him manhandle you! Demand he take your pain into account.  I hope his PA will be more sympathetic when it comes to giving you instructions for your aftercare.  Sandy

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,814 Member
    #48
    Sandy3185 said:

    Sorry to hear that!

    Soup52 that is really unacceptable! It is his responsibility to make sure that you are comfortable. There are things he can do to ensure that. I'm sure Cindi will be able to give you more information about that. My rad/onc was wonderful- he took the time to talk to me and answer all my questions, made sure I was comfortable every step of the way. I know you have only one treatment left (Thank God!) but please don't let him manhandle you! Demand he take your pain into account.  I hope his PA will be more sympathetic when it comes to giving you instructions for your aftercare.  Sandy

    Soup

    Sandy is right! There is absolutely no reason for you to hurt with Brachy.

    My rad/onc applied a prescription level lidocaine on my vaginal opening and inside too. He let that sit for about 5 minutes before he inserted the tube.

    I had zero pain. And, believe me.... penetration was very painful for me without the lidocaine.

    I seriously wish everyone could have a doctor that cares as much as this guy did/does.

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi

  • Actiquser
    Actiquser Member Posts: 3
    #49
    Yes after surgery, chemo and

    Yes after surgery, chemo and radiotherapy and brachy therapy the vagina is much reduced in size and has no elasticity.

    Even my oncologist will not attempt an internal examination. So thats an end of penetrative sex unfortunatly due to treatments. Fortunatly I had a very loving understanding partner but he died.

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