Started back to work

Well, friends, I have been back in the classroom for 3 weeks now.  I think I have adjusted my dehydration issue, but my new issue is that my eyes hurt - all day, every day.  I'm not sure whether to go to my opthalmologist or wait until I see the onco for my survivorship plan (Oct. 11).

A bigger issue has been dealing with the expectations of others.  While I "look great" as I keep being told, I feel most people think I can do everything I did before dx and treatment.  I used to juggle nine things at a time - now I feel all the balls are in the air and I am waiting for one to zonk me in the head.  How can I politely say that I can handle myself and the students in my room, but adults need to figure things out for themselves?  I have been asked by others to solve their computer issues, set schedules, and assist with their lesson plans.  I am wondering if I went back too soon.  Fatigue and neuropathy still plague me (treatment ended in July), and being asked to meet after school hours until 4:30 is just too much.  I spend my lunch in my room getting things done so I can crash when I get home.

     Thanks for letting me vent . . . I'm not even sure my family gets my frustration.

Sasu said:

ah yes....the old "you look great...can you do this for me?" routine has reared its head.  First, take a nice deep breath .  Now exhale slowly.  This is not your fault.  People who have not gone through what you have just don't understand.  You have to inform your coworkers that you cannot do the extras they are requesting.  Tell them you can handle your job, your classroom, your students, and that's it.  Tell them how you go home and "crash" at the end of the day.  I was told if it takes a year to go through your treatment, it could take a year for you to be strong again.  It is normal to want to go back to work and get back to the routine.  But that routine has to be adjusted so you can continue healing.  If your co workers have never had your cancer treatment they don't know the extreme exhaustion we deal with. You need to tell them now.  They will be able to function without you assisting them for a while. If you don't tell them, they won't know.

I think the comment about looking great is a reflex statement for a lot of people.  I had one woman tell me I was looking great on a day I had just left chemo  and i'd had the "red devil" infusion.  Guess i must have looked pretty spiffy all bald, sick to my stomache, blotchy with hives, teary eyes and all.  I told my husband it's too bad she must be going blind.

Good luck!

Thanks for the encouragement.  I was really hoping I could just walk right back in and pick up where I left off.  I do need to remind myself that I am still healing.  Thanks for that reminder.