How has breast cancer spoken to you?

peony said:

I am still dealing with some

I am still dealing with some side effects of my chemo, so right now, I'm just trying to see what my new normal will be. Will I be using a cane the rest of my life due to CIPN? Will I have to retire sooner than I had hoped? Am I going to be able to stay in my house or move somewhere more accomodating? I have a lot of questions right now that only time can answer. Cancer has left me feeling weakened and anxious in one way, but stronger in other ways. I know that whatever comes, I can deal with it; I can handle it and it's going to be alright. Best wishes.

Hi Peony (one of my favourite flowers), 

I'm glad that you realize that cancer has been able to make you stronger. When I realized that I really embrassed it and that's when changes started happening in my life. I started to become happier. I ended up taking a course in Life coaching and for over a year I've been hummig and hahing about who my clients should be. Since getting breast cancer I've discovered how many women around me had breast cancer and are going on strong. Sometimes different, but stronger than ever. Myself included.

I want to be able to share my experiences with the hopes of helping others find their strength, their voice, their opportunity and their life. That's why I've chosen to coach women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer to feel less axious and overwhelmed and more in control. I've only just started and I want to make sure I speak about the issues that are really affecting people.

Do you mind if I ask what top 3 things make you feel the most anxious? Maybe there's a tool, tip or exercise I can give you to help.

Much Love, 

Vickie

bonbondidit said:

Hi Happiness

I love your new call on life and your new direction with helping others. It's so nice when we find our calling.  As for me, I am stage 3a IDC, double mastectomy, 4 kids (twins 22 yr old daughters, 19 yr old son in college, 15 yr son  and a 5 yr old i've co-adopted with my neighbor (his grandson) who's parents are meth addicted.  I was diagnosed in 2014 on June 30th. Sterling was only 3 at the time.   I remember thinking how unfair it was to him that a second mommie was trying to get taken from him. The other three were in college at the time. My daughters stopped dead in their tracks and took a leave of absense to help me out. Some would argue that they should have remained in college during that time, but this was incredibly important to them. I learned to really honor people's eb and flow. I have been a very strong college bound mom for my kids so for us all to put it on the coat rack for a year really taught me about how little those things matter in comparison to need to help sick people, this time is was ME the co-leader of the family arc, the sentinal of the house hub - and I didn't even bat an eye lash when they all came to me to help. They dropped EVERYTHING and came to help - it was in their eyes, in their body language and in their spirit. It was when our beautiful family grew even bigger in strength, in closiness and in courage. I have never been more proud of my kids then through this experience. To humble myself and get centered. On one hand I was as a women going through the motions of the scariest time in my life simultaneously being graced by family's incredible vigilance. I know I am loved. I know their true true hearts. It was incredible and the BEST thing I've ever experienced as a mom. Honestly my family's beautiful and natural way of caring for me completely outshined my depression. It just did.  In the beginning I was angry that two years prior when I asked for the micro calcification cluster to be immedietly removed, I was told now now, lets lets just keep an eye on it- during the doctors mid sentence I blurted NO I want it OFF!  I was talked out of it since the biopsy came back negative for cancer then. Move forward two years from that date and I have stage 3a IDC. Ya know, I am doing just fine now. I did 16 weeks of a/c and 6 weeks of Taxol with 48 rounds of radiation. I went bald and sported my collection of AMAZING earings and wrapped my head in beautiful scarves. It was so chic.  Knowing how much people really care is the strongest chemo their is. Laughter is completely doable and got me through the hardest days. My aunt Shelley told me to think of chemo like pregnancy symptoms but that you are going to give birth to your new life and all the love that comes with that. Honestly the best advice I received. Chemo for me was just like the first trimester of pregnancy. I applied all knowledge from that time to this time. The weakness that finally occured after the third treatment was when it hit me. I've never been a napper but I learned to adapt real quick. 

I've learned so much about the human body since going through all of this.  I learned baby steps, faith and love are the only ways to win the race.  It will be a season to recieve incredible amounts of attention, so recieve it open armed, which can be hard for mothers who are the ones usually given of themselves.  No college degree in the world could bring me to happy tears in comparison to what I experienced with my family and beautiful friends.

One of my twins blessed me with a grandchild who is now 7 months old. His name is Ryder and I'm in love all over again.  I am in remission and will take life as it comes while I'm here on earth. Life is amazing!

My number one anxiousness is : NO ONE SHOULD DO THIS ALONE!  There are people on this site that need friends and to be taken to their appointments.

I have seen some of the worst in humanity in other patients I shared the chemo lounge with.  A husband who stays home and makes the wife drive herself while she's weak and gagging.  The world needs to stop and help when they see this behavior.  At times I see spouses actually MAD at their family member for "getting" cancer. "This is going to cost us SO MUCH MONEY! Ugh, I just got really good at giving the stink eye, interupting the abuse and intercepting. NEVER would I have done that before. Life is just too short to be in an abusive situation while being on this journey.

You learn who your "village" is and who isn't a part of that support pretty quick.  Everyone of the ladies and gents on this website are precious commodities to the world around them. I wish everyday that they realize their shine.

 

BonBondidit, 

What a fabulous message. I'm glad you found your "village". That's massively important. You need different people for different things so you need to build your team and really rely on them when you need to.

I'm glad you're positive and mindful of life around you. You're having an effect on the world!

XOXO

Vickie

Your lessons are beautiful. You're a soldier.