Depression, Panic Scared

If the medical advice you are getting is to get professional help, I think you should listen. You will get much better sooner with help, why suffer alone? Yes, you have already taken some serious medication, but your mental health is just as important if not more so. Try not to think about recurrence and percentages. They don't mean much. A 50% likelihood of recurrence also means that you have a 50% chance of remaining cancer free! Getting treatment for your depression is what matters right now. Take one day at a time and let us know how you are feeling. You aren't alone!! Hugs, Anna

I was exactly where you are 3 months ago. I finished radiation in May and felt like I lived in a cloud of anxiety. I was worried about my future because I too had side effects and was weak and worn out. I wasn't the woman I was before cancer. I had to figure out who I was and "find my new normal". I'm still working on it, but I feel much better about it. One thing that's helped is getting involved in cancer survivor activities.  I found this board and some really strong women who have been there, done that, and got the tee shirt.  Reading about their struggles made me see things in myself.  Some are going through situations that make my problems seem puny and not worth worrying about. I live in Baltimore and had my treatment at Johns Hopkins and they have cancer survivor events that I try to attend if possible. I always feel uplifted and strengthen afterwords.  If you can find some survivor groups or if your MO can give you some information, take it. Try it. Come here and read some of the posts here. We uplift each other and share our strength.  You can make it.   Best wishes.