Learning to deal with tests

At this point, you almost hesitate to say much.  There is a bit of survivor's guilt when one comes on here and says everything is OK.

But then you think, "what the H..., I've earned it." 

For all of you who haven't always had great results, are on meds, more tests, etc., I can truthfully say, "I've been there."  Earning my stripes has come with it's share of extras...the biopsies, the PET scan, the thyroid/radioisotope test for thyroid cancer, the call backs on mammograms, the surgeries when the kidney cancer re-occurred in nodes.  And the gut aches, the anxiety, the poor to no sleep, the fatigue from the previously mentioned, etc.

But in May of 2006, ten years ago, I was given the BIG C diagnosis and my life turned upside down, especially, when the next day I saw the oncologist and he said that at this stage (IV) since there was a large mass in a kidney and there was already mets to the liver which all showed on the initial ultrasound, I had about 5-7 months to live.......unless surgery could be done. (he didn't add, successfully).  A CT (for confirmation) and a Bone Scan (no mets to bones) and a referral to a team at OHSU in Portland, OR.  Their Tumor board gave me hope.  As the lead, Dr. Mitchell Sokoloff, said,"We think we can get it all."

Three and a half weeks later, they got a chance to slice/dice/tilt the table/x-ray & biopsy frozen slices during an 11.5 hour surgery.  Final Dx was Clear Cell RCC, T2N1M1, Fuhrman Grade III-IV.  They removed the right kidney-12.5x11.5x8 cm mass; the set of paracaval nodes posterier to the kidney with 2 of 11 positive for RCC; left lobe of my liver with single mass of RCC; multiple right lobe wedges that were biopsied with each slice but found to be benign; and then checked the gall bladder.  I had a congenital defect in the bile duct, so they removed the gall bladder and the bile duct.

I don't remember much about the time in Portland, but the day I was discharged was the day that Oregon State University (my alma mater) won the National Baseball Championship.  Go Beaves.

Dr. talk of, "I think we got it all." is another way of saying they got all they could find or see with the naked eye, or suspected was a mets.  So in both 2007 and in 2008, I had additional surgeries to remove single positive nodes.  They seem like long ago blips on the radar.

The tests may make you anxious early on; but believe me, the stress of not having them and wondering if a little symptom could be something big is even worse.  So I go in for the tests, annoying as they are, and cool my jets until I get the copy of paper and hear the words that there is no apparent change.

Usually I see the Onc.NP, but this time it was the Doc.  Over the years, I've found out I have a variety of cysts or nodules in various organs-liver, pancreas, l. kidney, thyroid.  Kind of no big deal after so many years. So yesterday, my 10-(TEN)-year post DX and surgery was a REALLY BIG Deal for me,  especially when he said there was no evidence of anything out of the ordinary growing.

I had been on an every 4 month check, and the last year or so it went to 5 months.  I don't need to go back for 6 months and won't have a CT for about a year.

For those you you who are just beginning this journey of becoming a cancer survivor, there is hope that you will be one in 10 years, too.  My heart goes out to those who are fighting for every day, are on drugs that make you sick or cause side effects.  I was never offered any drugs, as there were so few 10 years ago and I didn't fit the requirements for any drugs in trial.  Guess that was the luck of the draw on this one, for me.

Love and hugs to all of you for letting me share the good news.

donna_lee