Week two post treatment feeling blue

Hi Kari,

Happy Sunday, it is a beautiful day and the good “new normal” is getting close.  I really do not feel normal like I did pre-cancer, but my new normal minus nausea and icky side effects is pretty nice.  You will have to pilot into a new world.

It is a bummer to throw-up tube stuff, if it is Jevity it tastes just awful.  Are you tubing at a good rate? 

Maybe, it is time to try a taste of normal foods, not a big bite and swallow, just enough to get a hint of your new world.  I tried everything,  sweet, salty, sour, savory, ice-cream, candy, hard candy, etc..  Don’t be surprised to find a winner.  Don’t overdo it if you are not ready.

How is a sip of ginger ale?  I still find all carbonated pop potent, but I like the fizz.

My serious reconditioned taste buds did not wake-up till 7 months post; there was a lot of smoothies in there and a ton of sampling.

Keep on smiling,

Matt

That after all the flurry of treatments and doctor's appointments there is a kind of let-down feeling for many folks.  Seems to be normal just like post-holiday blues are normal although the only comparison there is that emotions run high.

Make sure you work with your medical team and let them know if you don't start feeling better emotionally.

I have been where you are.  At two weeks post I was told by my MO that the dry mouth issue would likely be permanent.  I was so down and so blue that I felt like Sherwin Williams would make a specific blue color chip just for me.

Complicating things was the very tenuou relationship that I had with my spouse at the time (caregiving had taken its toll).  I felt like I'd always feel like this, that life would be horrible and that I'd be like this for the rest of my miserable life.

It sounds trite, but I just kept putting 'one foot in front of the other'.  I followed my doctor's advice, I leaned on the good people on this site, I read everything I could on recovering and tried to have some positive outlook. 

It took a while but one day I noticed that it wasn't as bad as it had been, I still hurt, couldn't swallow anything but liquids, gave back every 4th or 5th tube feeding but I noticed that I didn't feel as bad as I did.

The days pass slowly, healing and recovery take an agonizing amount of time but I was back to work a few weeks later, and now, some 4 years since the end of treatments, I'm back to that new normal that Matt speaks to. 

Hang in there, it does get better, just slower than molasses in January in Talkeetna AK!

Peter

BTW - stage iva, base of tongue, induction chemo, concurrent chemo and radiation, two selective neck dissections so 'been there - done that'

It does get better, give yourself a chance to heal, give yourself permission to feel the small steps of recovery!

Seems like shortly after completing treatments, everyone has at least a few major questions. In a nutshell, the answers are “Yes” you will get better. “No” it won’t happen as fast as you would like, nor will it happen at the same time as the others before you. “Yes” you will have some permanent side effects which will probably be nothing more than a speedbump in your normal activity.

Allow yourself to do what feels best for you. If that’s sitting on the sofa watching all 100 of the Netflex best movies ever, do it. If going back to your old schedule feels best for you, do it. Everyone heals and feels different, but one common thread that seems universally important is to do your best maintain a positive outlook. The disease and treatment may get the best of your body, and that’s something you can’t control. But you, and only you can control your attitude and outlook, so focus on what you can control. 

I wish you the best.