New Caretaker

georgiasurfer,

I have imagined your surprise myself, or nightmare as it be, when I found out who was living in my tongue and neck.  It is truly rare that we can pin down the culprit.  One thing for sure, our immune systems got caught sleeping or almost.  After all my lymph nodes did give a heads up.

Hopefully, he doesn’t get much worse and you can deal successfully with what he has.

It means a lot to the H&N forum to know that they helped someone,

Matt

Sorry to hear about your husband.  It is hard to be a caregiver just as it is hard to be the one with cancer and as a caregiver you must take care of yourself too.  I was my husband's caregiver for 5 years as he fought his battle first laryngeal and then what the doctor said was a second primary at the cervical of his esophagus and then a spread to his lungs.  And yes he was a smoker, pipe only and a beer drinker (which he stopped 10 years before he was diagnosed) and the doctors said that was the cause of his cancer.  He lived on a feeding tube basically from day one and the damage done by the radiation pretty much kept him on a feeding tube until he passed.  Personally, I don't think they really know what causes cancer.  We all have the genes but something activates it.  Our youngest son at 41 had his kidney removed due to cancer and he isn't a smoker or drinker (so far he is a survivor of 7 years).  My youngest sister is a 14 year survivor of triple negative breast cancer (the first in our family) and she is not a smoker or drinker.

I spoke with many people while sitting with my husband while he underwent treatment and many of them said they didn't smoke or drink but yet they had all types of cancer.  If you think back years ago didn't really hear much about cancer.  My in-laws lived to be 82 and 93, one died from a stroke and one from old age.  They were farmers and grew their own food, no preservatives.  My own mother lived to be 85 and passed from a bad heart, while her youngest sister passed from esophageal cancer at 73 and she didn't smoke or drink and was healthy.  So go explain it.

Remember too during your journey that everyone reacts differently to treatment, everyone seems to have a different opinion of what to eat, what to take, etc.  Just be sure that you check with your doctors about what types of over the counter herbs, even vitamins your husband can take.  And don't get hung up on life expectancy with what you read and much of what is on the internet is not up to date with current information.  My husband far exceeded the tables I would see about his stage and type of cancer.   You can get too caught up with what you read on the internet.

Wishing you and your family the best

You have found one of the best sites anywhere.  I so wish I would have found it sooner In My Journey.  There are so, so, many fantastic people here ready to help anyway they can.  Info, questions, venting, support....one stop shopping right here.  They have been a lifeline for me.  So lurk no more, we are all here to help anyway we can.

I am so sorry this horrific beast entered your life.   The beginning of this year, finally went to see an ENT for my nasty sinus/allergy problems.  He helped me but to our dismay a small spot on my left tonsil area turned out to be cancer. I went in for sinus/allergies came out with cancer.  Sure you question why. I found the best way to deal with this diagnosis is for whatever reason, I think it is a crap shoot.  You can be the healthiest or not, many dodge the bullet, we unfortunately took one to the heart.  So I really have taken it Day By Day, do the best I can that day and start again tomorrow.  It's hell,  but you have each other.  And, you have Us here for help and encouragement.  

Nope on the workout.  I had surgery to remove both tonsils, some of my tongue base, some soft palate and a neck dissection to remove 24 lymph nodes on April 20. After about 4 weeks I was just starting to get back to my gym work, then I had to have my chemo port inserted which then limited what I could do in the gym again. 2 weeks later I started my radiation and chemo on June 1. At that point, I did some workouts for about 2 1/2 weeks then hit a road block.  I was very frustrated as well but realized I needed to let my body heal. So you can see that during the treatments, you will get zapped. I did not have a feeding tube so my primary goal was calorie intake as I started at 175 lbs. By the end of week 3, I was liquid only as the radiation/chemo made eating solids impossible. Protein shakes and commercial supplements kept my calories in check and I finished treatments on July 15 at 172 lbs. I am now just about 6 weeks out and started back to some light workouts last week. 

As everyone will tell you on this site, we are all different in how our bodies recover from these horrific treatments. I feel lucky in many ways but also understand that my initial physical shape had to help in many ways. So hopefully, you guys will make it through as well.  Just stay determined. There will be many days you just have to "grin and bear" it. But remember it will end and you can start on your path to your new normal.

Good luck!!

Freddie