Just being Cranky
This is just a lil petty self indulgence -- Round2/Day5, and i am as cranky as a child. Wahh, wahh, WAHH! No energy, cant think, cant drink, everything tastes ICKY, I'm bored, everything aches, i wanna be Normal!!! Trying to keep perspective-- I've got __months__ of this ahead, at least 4 more rounds -- but ye gods, i am fussy as h3ll right now!!! Cultivating grace is hard sometimes... Thx for listening as i vent...
Comments
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Be as cranky as much and as
Be as cranky as much and as often as you like. These procedures aren't fun especially if a long way to go yet. Go to the movies go for a smoothie (That should taste better than most things). Have a bunch of friends round, no you go to one of their homes let them do the work. Get into some mild exercise classes. Hospitals have wellness programmes sometimes especially for those who need careful movement. I got a chemo hat for the gym and no one cared and I just did what I could. Swim, Aqua Aerobics is fun. Don't feel good half way through just leave and try again another time, get angry vent on here we understand.
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Cultivating Grace
Oh how I remember. You are right - cultivating grace IS hard sometimes. Everything in your life is off kilter right now. When I was going through chemo my 17 year old daughter still lived at home along with me and my husband. They went through a LOT with me as I'm sure your family is doing with you. The only advice I can give on this subject is for you to try very hard not to take it all out on them. When they bring you a popsicle or help you to the bathroom acknowlege their help and say thank you. As hard as it may be, don't complain every time someone speaks to you or they could begin to avoid/resent you. Enjoy some of that alone time. Read books. It's OK to have all the issues you listed. You WILL eventually be normal again.You can always come here to vent. We have been there and done that. It is now almost 6 years since the last of my 16 rounds of chemo and all the details of that period are actually fading from memory. You have that to look forward to. From the perspective of a complete stranger, you are an articulate and humorous person and I enjoy reading your posts. We are here if you need us.
IRENE
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Sending pixie dust your way..
Sending pixie dust your way...be cranky if you need..
Denise
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Cranky
When my niece was on chemo, she became beyond cranky. We said she'd gone over to the dark side. Everybody tiptoed around in fear of waking the beast within. At the time, I just thought she felt awful and this was how it was manifested. Recently, I watched a movie with Seth Rogan in it, called "50/50". It's a about a young guy (27) who has cancer and is given a 50/50 chance of surviving. While in chemo, he also goes over to the dark side and becomes a real a**hole. I asked my sister if I carried on that way while I was in chemo (it seemed to me that I had). She said no, there were times I seemed pretty frustrated with the situation and anxious to get it all over with. So vent, be cranky, whine - those around you probably understand. We certainly do.
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A burden shared
...is lessened, as they say.
Being cranky is just inevitable, i guess, and knowing others understand, have been there, helps a lot. I know that every round is gonna have those seriously DOWN days; i just have to work on Grace and coping mechanisms!
I know that i kinda-sorta get a "Get out of jail free card" to have the Crankies, and at the same time, i don't want to be self indulgent and go all Dark Side, lol. I appreciate the support from others who have been there!!!
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