Started Chemo and now another scare

LorettaMarshall said:

Pat~Hope nothing shows up that chemo can't handle in due time!

 Hello again Pat,

 Isn’t that just the way a cancer patient’s life is?  You know the old familiar saying, “Round and round she goes, and where she stops, nobody knows!”  As for cancer, I think it’s a “roulette” wheel more often than a “wheel of fortune.”  Now you’re wondering, what can they “take out next” that hasn’t already been removed?  Sometimes they can’t do anything about it, even if they can identify it.  You and I are both in a “state of limbo”, not knowing what will crop up next, but God knows.  My comfort and peace comes from knowing that just like He sees every sparrow that falls, He knows our every physical pain and emotional heartache.  You’re doing all you know to do, and I know you would like to think you were in a “sweet spot” for a while, in that the chemo you’re having would zap some of those “invaders”.  It would be nice to find out that it is something that the chemo will eventually eliminate.  After all, your sessions have just started, and they are cumulative in their ability to “go after and kill” cancer cells. 

 And as for the procedure, a “deeper mammo”.  I’m wondering if you are having something similar to the last MRI mammogram I had?  I had to step up and then lie down on a sort of high table with no padding, and in an upside-down position.  There were two openings in the “narrow table through which my breast were suspended (one in each hole of course).   All the while I could actually feel some slight motion within my breasts.  I don’t know how to describe it exactly, but it was not painful.  And it was “short in duration.”  The hardest part was the “hard table”.  It’s a bit more intense than when we go in to have our breast “smashed flat” between 2 clear plastic plates—you know what I mean.  In times past, when I would go to have a mammogram, they charged $5 extra to have a nice cushiony pad about a third of an inch thick placed flat down on the small area first.  Yes, that helped.  And as I watched the lady position my breast in the right spot and then lower the top part down until my breast was “smashed” almost flat as a pancake, I thought to myself.  Is this looking for a lump or causing one? ? ?  Actually not, but I’ve just said all that to say this, I’m hoping that whatever is revealed by tomorrow’s test is something on which chemo can have a positive effect.

 Just having chemo in itself is an “emotional” experience.  So all I can say is, I’ve read your letter I’m sorry, and I wish this weren’t happening to you.  I know you’re a woman of faith, so keep on remembering that God has not forgotten where you are, who you are, and what you’re going through.  May His eternal presence in your soul give you an inner peace to combat all the “outer turmoil” going on right now in your life?  Keep looking up Pat even in “down times.”  That’s carried you through more than one trial, Pat. 

 Praying for you,

 Loretta

Peritoneal Carcinomatosis/Ovarian Cancer Stage IV

 

Thank you for your quick reply.Yes my faith has got me where I am today.Reminds me of the old song what would I do without Jesus.How true this is.I will do what I need to do.But gee don't it get tiring sometimes.Thanks again.