Checking In - Hoping Uncle Ned Has Time for Me

Is this uncle Ned stuff getting old yet? Lol.

My quarterly scans coming up on Monday. Won't get a result until the following Monday. Would love uncle Ned to stop by. I'm glad he can be in multiple places at once!

Something strange has happened since my last scans and this one. I've actually stopped worrying and obsessing about my cancer/possibility of having cancer/cancer returning, etc. I don't know why, but I'm very grateful for that. I have this odd feeling that it's gone (the obsession) and even if stuff shows up on my scans, I'm going to be ok with whatever it is.

I've been feeling better. I've been doing some exercise. I'm still way heavier than I want to be and I'm pretty sure when I don't feel well, it's because of this extra weight I'm carrying around. I've been trying to do something about this, but not having a lot of success. Still, I'm optimistic.

Back to this obsession and worry being lifted...I didn't think it would ever be gone. I'm just to glad that it is.

I'm not on here too often. Still drop by now and then and read. Rarely post, but I try to if I feel I have something to add.

Briefly, here's my history. My 6.9 cm tumor was found in November/December of 2012. Wow. I think that's when it was 3 1/2 years ago. I had a radical nephrectomy the week before my 51st birthday. I was Stage 3, Grade 3 (no other tumors). I did a year long drug trial at City of Hope for everolimus vs placebo as an adjuvant therapy (turns out I was on the placebo). A year after I finished the trial, they found a tumor in my right adrenal gland (the surgeon had left it for me). That moved me to Stage 4, but NED again after my right adrenalectomy. So far my scans have been NED. 1 1/2 years so far. Hoping for another good scan next week. But if it's not, I'm ready for whatever comes my way.

Much more aware after all of this what is important and not important and how I can choose my attitude no matter what my circumstance, and where I want to live is in gratitude, not anger, fear or resentment. I hope my obsession/compulsion with fear continues to be lifted. Even if it's not, I hope I remember not to let it control me. I think I'm a better person after cancer.

Wishing you all good health. If that doesn't pan out (none of us get good health forever), then peace and contentment in the face of bad health. I hope you know what I mean! I wish you well whatever your condition.

Todd