Lurk no more

Your husband is like a Timex, he took a licking and he keeps on ticking. Thank you very much for sharing his story, now it is to the healing process. Did they give him any radiation or just Chemo?

Tim

IVa, HPV+, BOT, Induction Chemo +++++

Best advice I can give is this, your husband is just getting done cooking so things will SLOWLY get better.  My analogy is like taking a big steak off the grill, it still cooks for a time, same with his throat.  Hydration is more important than you can imagine, it has put many more folks in the hospital than almost any other side effect.  As for constipation, multiple products, multiple doses.  Better to get a bit loose than too tight.

Now to being a caregiver; and that's what you are.  What you are not is a saint.  You need to put your feet up and have a glass a wine and find some relax time for you.  Believe me, your husband would rather have  you relaxed and yourself than so stressed out you are not able to be part of the solution.

Again, I've been through it all, feel free to ask any questions you might have, here on PM me.

Good Luck,

Joe

Welcome!!! You and I have a lot in common. I was caregiver to my hubby with a similar treatment. I agree. Breast cancer was nothing compared to this. And like you, I was a lurker and didn't join in until after the hubs was done with treatment. I was just too busy and too tired to post. I hope you know that you deserve an award for going through this. As caregivers we don't do the treatment, but we're right there alongside with them in the trenches. Whatever you do, don't ever feel guilty for putting your feet up. You need to stay healthy and stay sane, but I'm sure you must already know this. You know a thing or two having gone through breast cancer. From one survivor / caregiver to another, I'm giving you permission to have that drink and enjoy that good meal. Better yet, go out and celebrate with a good friend - just having made it this far. You don't have to be positive, just be kind to yourself. The regime is insane and the aftereffects are downright tortuous, at least they were for my dear hubby. Someday you'll look back in disbelief and wonder how you did it. This site is awesome. I don't know what I would have done without the people here. Come back and post as often as you need to and write whatever you're feeling at the time. This is a safe place. 

I wish you well.

4 years since diagnosis, stage IVa, base of tongue, HPV+, induction chemo, 33 rads with weekly Erbitux and then two neck dissections so I can relate.  It will get better but as others have pointed out, agonizingly slow.....

Caregivers have it much harder than we do and it may sound odd but you do the worrying, you do the work (hard - hell - VERY hard) of helping us and worrying about how we're feeling that you (at least my wife didn't) take any time for yourself.  You need to take the advice shown here, put your feet up, sip some wine, enjoy a good book or whatever you need to decompress from the grind that is caring for a cancer patient.

See if Smilow has a support service, I went to St. Peter's Cancer Center in Albany NY and they had all kinds of patient and caregiver support available.

Glad to hear that hubby has finished treatments, he will slowly feel better and will re-gain the ability to eat, taste and get back some saliva.  I'm 4 years out and the only real issue now is the reduced saliva.  I have about 80% of normal, I can eat most anything but drier foods need a sip of water at times. 

:-)