How to adapt to new lifestyle

Don't look back! What all of us 'were' is gone. In fact, I do not want to go back because eight years ago my future had more cancer in it than I could have imagined. But, to live in fear is to stop living. We know that we do not live forever. We know the end will come some day - but we just try to keep kicking that can down the road. Well, sometimes, that can rolls back to us. If we fear death, to some degree, we also fear life - and life is not intended to be a fearsome thing. We are intended to enjoy it, pass it on and not be totally derailed by its challenges.  

A person's worldview makes all of the difference in the world. Having beliefs about life and death are only human. Each and every society and culture that has ever existed has had them. What do you believe? We are in an age of confusion in which we have cast aside many 'old fashioned' beliefs and have embraced the new - except that the newproduces an awful lot of anxiety in a very anxious age. Double whammy.

I can speak only for myself, but I do not fear death. Death's power has diminished each time that I have had to face it down. The sad fact is that, as long as we are alive, our bodies produce cancer cells. Daily. Our immune systems kill them off, but occasionally, one is missed. That's all it takes. You made the conscious decision to face it and fight it once. You were the victor. Decide to be victorious again, should it ever cast its shadow over you.

As to anxiety: It cannot change the past or predict the future. It can only paralyze today - and that is all we possess. If anxiety is a continuing and powerful problem, I would advise you to get powerful help with it. Anxiety is not a positive. It is a negative and can produce symptoms that are interpreted as a relapse, which produces more anxiety. A vicious circle.

Keep your vigilance up on the anxiety front and monitor your health. Find out how others cope and examine their methods and beliefs. One will speak to you.    

I think a lot depends on the circumstances and story of the individual. You look very young and have a lot of life in front of you. That can change a point of view. Also, you are a women; that plays in as well. I am a 50 year old man with strong faith in God. All my children are out of high school. That shapes my post-cancer mind. I started chemo 2 years ago May 1. I became NED in October 2014. Since then, I decided to move forward and not look back too often. Although, I take a glance back once in a while (when I go to my checkups or need to get back on track). Even though there is a possibility of the cancer returning, I continued to work because I need to support my wife and myself. I also, push myself to get in decent shape and eat well. Not easy...but super important!! That helps with a positive mind set as I feel good. That part wasn't easy and took about six months. I also try and plan something fun with friends and my wife every two weeks (hike, bike, fish). Something to look forward to. But my new goal is to try and help others. The church I attend assists the poor and infirm with yard work etc. That makes a person feel good. Before cancer, I wasn't happy for each birthday and and I was spending too much time competing in sporting activities. Now I truly celebrate each birthday and try as hard as I can to focus on others...super hard for me to do because I'm selfish. If I get cancer again, I will battle. But I'm really not afraid of dying or losing my hair again. I don't want to feel sick, but I can't do anything more than I am to keep from getting it again. Also, I believe a big part of having peace is my faith. But, that is my story. With that said, if you can't get out of depression on your own (exercise, healthy diet, regular sleep pattern etc.) don't hesitate to get professional help. You can do this!!!

I was diagnosed with stage 4 follicular non-hodgkins lymphoma Dec 2014. Six cycles of R-chop, still some cancer alive. Then 3 cycles of RICE and in Nov I was told I was in remission. The plan was to follow this with a stem cell transplant. That has been thwarted by my bone marrow. It has become "dysfuntional". My blood counts (red, white, hemoglobin) will start to rise and then drop. The Drs are trying to figure out what is the best to do with the least amount of risk to me. 

I have been fortunate to be able to work throughout my treatments. Has my life changed, absolutely.

My life changed when I went to college. Again when I graduated and got a job in my chosen field. Another change when I got married and later we bought a house. A big change when I had kids. In between these changes were others like loss of my dad, job changes, loss of loved aunts and & uncles. Another big changes as those kids grew up and moved out to start their OWN lives and then the loss of my mom at the same time our first grand cild was born. For each of these events I didn't turn into a different person just because aspects of my life had changed. Now cancer has changed my life again. It will not be the last change in my life. 

Our lives are full of changes. Cancer is just another one is how I look at it. 

lindary said:

Moving forward

I was diagnosed with stage 4 follicular non-hodgkins lymphoma Dec 2014. Six cycles of R-chop, still some cancer alive. Then 3 cycles of RICE and in Nov I was told I was in remission. The plan was to follow this with a stem cell transplant. That has been thwarted by my bone marrow. It has become "dysfuntional". My blood counts (red, white, hemoglobin) will start to rise and then drop. The Drs are trying to figure out what is the best to do with the least amount of risk to me. 

I have been fortunate to be able to work throughout my treatments. Has my life changed, absolutely.

My life changed when I went to college. Again when I graduated and got a job in my chosen field. Another change when I got married and later we bought a house. A big change when I had kids. In between these changes were others like loss of my dad, job changes, loss of loved aunts and & uncles. Another big changes as those kids grew up and moved out to start their OWN lives and then the loss of my mom at the same time our first grand cild was born. For each of these events I didn't turn into a different person just because aspects of my life had changed. Now cancer has changed my life again. It will not be the last change in my life. 

Our lives are full of changes. Cancer is just another one is how I look at it. 

 

Such a great attitude.....you are so right...we are more than our cancer. We will have other obstacles to overcome because this is life. You guys give me lots of hope. Thank you for sharing your journey!

I'm sorry you're here but glad you found this forum.  Hugs.

I was diagnosis two years ago at the age of 48, follicular, stage four, grade two and a low burden of disease.  I had this for ten years before it decide to show its ugly face.  I have always lived a healthy lifestyle with food, gardening, exercise etc....   The time I was diagnosed, I was pretty fit.

My father was diagnosed three weeks after so I decided to keep my cancer under the radar and told only my husband and best friend who happens to be a hematologist oncologist.  Treatment wiped me out.   I had no energy to work out but I did try, only thing that seemed to help me were shakes and fresh juices.   Because of my fathers lymphoma, I had little time to concentrate on myself, I had to protect him and help him and of course my mother too.   Then I lost my dad.  My circumstances were mentally very difficult,  treatment robbed me of my energy but today I can tell you things are not perfect but I am totally happy, pretty healthy and quietly gaining ground  and you will too.  After treatment was over I did seek the help of a professional because I had/ have terrible shortness of breath etc.. and I wanted to do everything right.  I have two beautiful children and have be a good example for them.  Also I don't know why I was put on this path but I was determined to make God proud of me.  

Just my two cents.  

My counselor did tell me it's more difficult the year after when you have to cope with all that you have endured.

 I should also say I am a fierce warrior and a freaky positive person.  It maybe impossible not to look back from time to time but it does get easier to move forward.

Be good to yourself and don't feed the monster with stress.

All my best.