Keeping a brave face

Ronnie88
Ronnie88 Member Posts: 2
in Anal Cancer #1

Hi, My name is Ronnie and this is my story...A year ago I was on top of the world, great job, all the kids off to collage me and the wife talking about traveling and then I went to the bathroom one day and noticed some blood. Not a big deal I thought being a truck driver for 30 years it was probably just hemroids. Went to the doctor and was diagnosed with stageII anal cancer. I was told that this cancer was very cureable and with Chemo and radiation I would be just fine. So I put on my brave face told the wife and kids that this was no big deal, took a leave of absence from work, and proceeded to go through 6 months of hell, all the while assuring everyone that everything was fine. In the end they gave me a coffee cup, certificate of compleation and a clean bill of health...TA-DA your cured!!! Or was I the treatments left me scard, somewhat incontenant, bleeding fissures, and some erectile disfunction, so once again I put on my brave face, I could deal with all of this, I was cancer free and still alive. I went back to work and with each passing week the pain I was in from sitting got worse. I went back to my doctors who sent me to a rectal surgeon who found another tumor and guess what...cancer. Once again I put on my brave face, this will be no problem Ill just do the radiation and chemo thing again right??...wrong..because I already had the treatment before I cant do it again as the radiation will just distroy everything back there. Now there telling me my only option is a complete resection. I could no longer do my job so I had to resign, it's an absolute joke what social security wants to give me for dissability, and I have no idea what I'm going to do about insurance...I am just about out of brave faces to put on. I am seeking second, third and fourth opinnions, but I know as messed up as I am from all that radiation this is probably going to be my only option. So why this long rambling story? I guess because in a forum such as this I don't have to put on a brave face and I can admit that I am very much afraid. I'm afraid that this is a life changing opperation and I will never be the same again, Afraid of the physical and mental trauma I'm going to put myself through. and most of all afraid that after all of this is done, and I get another coffee mug and the TA-DA your cured, that I'll feel that pain again that has become all to familiar to me over the last year and hear the words that every one dreads...your cancer has returned...Thanks for letting me ramble on, just writing things down is good therophy for me.

Comments

  • pializ
    pializ Member Posts: 508 Member
    #2
    Ronnie88

    I am so sorry that you find yourself in this situation. Being brave here isn't necessary, and I know many of us post when we are particularly frightened because we have that common understanding. Not so long back there was a young man who was posting on behalf of his Mum who had a similar experience to yourself. I understand that she eventually had the APR op and was recovering well. For those with rectal cancer it seems to be a normal procedure. There is a gentleman who checks in here who had that and maybe he could give you more of a 'low down' on how it is.

    It seems unfair though doesn't it? You hold it all together for others to not be so worried, then it comes back and takes another bite. You have been unlucky, but thankfully there is a plan b. I live in the UK so unsure about the insurance side of things so can't help you with that one.

    Please keep us updated & don't be a stranger. There's so much support here & I am so glad I found it

    Liz

  • mxperry220
    mxperry220 Member Posts: 496 Member
    #3
    Insurance

    Regarding insurance you should be able to sign up for Cobra therough your company.  I thiink you can keep your company insurance up to 18 monnths.  The only caveat is you have to pay the full monthly premium.  I was diagnosed as Stage 2 anal cancer in 2008.  My internal medicine doctor told me at the time if there was a recurrance I would have to have a colostomy as I had had the maximum radiation dosage during my treatments.  Thankfully the treatments worked as I have been cancer free for almost 7 1/2 years.

  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    #4
    Ronnie88

    Welcome here, where you may have already realized you are among friends and people who will support you.  However, I'm sorry for your circumstances.  While chemo/radiation has a high rate of success in treating anal cancer, there are some cases where the cancer returns, unfortunately.  You have already been through a lot, so I can understand your frustration and fear about going forward with surgery.  I am glad you are looking for another opinion before making that decision.   I don't know where you are located, but I would highly recommend checking into seeing Dr. Catherine Eng at MD Anderson in Houston.  Her area of expertise is recurrent and metastatic anal cancer.  If going to Houston is not an option for you, then you may ask your doctor(s) about doing a phone consultation with her, at the least. 

    As far as coming here to vent, it's totally okay!  No one should have to go through this alone.  As much as family and friends try to be supportive, they have not been through this diagnosis and treatment experience, which is why the people on this discussion board can be so helpful.  I hope as you look at your options you'll keep us posted.  We are here to listen and support you.  Best wishes.

    Martha

  • Ronnie88
    Ronnie88 Member Posts: 2
    #5
    mp327 said:

    Ronnie88

    Welcome here, where you may have already realized you are among friends and people who will support you.  However, I'm sorry for your circumstances.  While chemo/radiation has a high rate of success in treating anal cancer, there are some cases where the cancer returns, unfortunately.  You have already been through a lot, so I can understand your frustration and fear about going forward with surgery.  I am glad you are looking for another opinion before making that decision.   I don't know where you are located, but I would highly recommend checking into seeing Dr. Catherine Eng at MD Anderson in Houston.  Her area of expertise is recurrent and metastatic anal cancer.  If going to Houston is not an option for you, then you may ask your doctor(s) about doing a phone consultation with her, at the least. 

    As far as coming here to vent, it's totally okay!  No one should have to go through this alone.  As much as family and friends try to be supportive, they have not been through this diagnosis and treatment experience, which is why the people on this discussion board can be so helpful.  I hope as you look at your options you'll keep us posted.  We are here to listen and support you.  Best wishes.

    Martha

    Thanks to all for your words

    Thanks to all for your words of encouragement, it truly is appreciated. I have an appointment next week at Moffet Cancer Center, there supposed to be one of the best in the world. Hopeing that they will have an alternate treatment other than major surgery, but if not I guess that Ill just have to get the surgery done. at 53 I have a lot more living to do!!

  • lp1964
    lp1964 Member Posts: 1,239 Member
    #6
    Dear Friend,

    I am a 51 year old guy with rectal cancer 3 years ago. Similar treatment to yours: radiation, chemo, resection With colostomy.

    Fun? No. Hell? Hell yes! But tell you what. Life goes on until it doesn't and we have to make the best of it because this is the best we got. 

    After my cancer my wife kind of left me. I'm all alone and starting over again. I'm still very optimistic about my life and future. You are a strong man and you will be ok.

    If you have the surgery start taking 400mg Cimetidine twice a day about two weeks before and fir two weeks after the surgery to prevent the spreading the cancer.

    Once you know more let us know because I may have more info for you. 

    all the best,

    Laz

  • eihtak
    eihtak Member Posts: 1,473 Member
    #7
    Ronnie88....

    Hi,

    I am sorry to have the need to welcome anyone, yet happy you have found this safe place to post your frustrations and concerns. You are right in that writing things down and rambling can be very therapeutic....so write away, we are all in this boat together so you're not alone.

    I was dx with anal cancer stage 3b in 2011, breast cancer in 2012, mets of anal cancer to my lung in 2015.....treatments included combinations of chemo, radiation, surgery, therapy, and yes.....a colostomy. You say that at 53 you have a lot of living to do....then plan on doing just that!

    I live in Wisconsin, and am writing this on the beach in Clearwater, Fl.  Last fall I did the same from Myrtle Beach.  Over the past several years I have vacationed in Chicago, Dubuque, and Nashville to name just a few.  I have chased grandkids around baseball and soccer fields and lugged hockey equipment to ice rinks in snowstorms. A couple years ago (between treatment) I went back to college at 55 years old and will graduate soon and am considering a brief mission trip in Virginia after that.

    While I realize we are all different and diagnosis, treatment and recovery is not the same for anyone, I do want you to know that if your life does include ostomy surgery, it does not mean an end to fun and activity. Is there an adjustment period, yes, but there is help through that as well and you will get through it.

    I am at the point of not thinking of myself as being "cured" but rather LIVING with the chronic condition of something called cancer. There will be good days and not so good days, but at least for now there are days......I will surely keep you in my thoughts and prayers that your days are more good than bad.

    katheryn

  • qv62
    qv62 Member Posts: 434 Member
    #8
    Ronnie88

    Just reading your post, want to wish you all the best in wherever this journey takes you. Please keep us updated. I will keep you in my thoughts.

  • Tracy figg
    Tracy figg Member Posts: 36
    #9
    Yes it good i have anal

    Yes it good i have anal cancer to and im allergeic. To the chemo so they can only operate on me so im going to have bag but im going to be alive. Im afaind to because they say it easy to get it gone. Ya i was diangose in dec and my surgery is june 10 so be brave and things well get better.oh see in cananda we do chemo and radiation together

  • Mary Gelewski
    Mary Gelewski Member Posts: 5
    #10
    I cannot imagine.  I am so

    I cannot imagine.  I am so sorry.  I am newly diagnosed myself.  About insurance, what about healthcare.gov??  Obamacare.  That's what I have.  Cobra costs an absolute fortune.

  • mxperry220
    mxperry220 Member Posts: 496 Member
    #11
    Mary Gelewski said:

    I cannot imagine.  I am so

    I cannot imagine.  I am so sorry.  I am newly diagnosed myself.  About insurance, what about healthcare.gov??  Obamacare.  That's what I have.  Cobra costs an absolute fortune.

    Obamacare

    Unless a person qualifies for premium credit you will see Obamacare is an absolute fortune.  Also, most plans under Obamacare have a $6,000 deductible.

    Mike

  • Mary Gelewski
    Mary Gelewski Member Posts: 5
    #12
    mxperry220 said:

    Obamacare

    Unless a person qualifies for premium credit you will see Obamacare is an absolute fortune.  Also, most plans under Obamacare have a $6,000 deductible.

    Mike

    I qualify - due to limited

    I qualify - due to limited income, which is likely the case here.  My premium is about $200 and I have a very low deductible.

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