Back to work tomorrow

Hi Nancy

Happy Birthday! 55 is a great age so chin up. You are starting a new normal that since you are strong, will be fine.  One day at a time is how mrs red and I hang in there. You're going to heal up, just takes time.

Red Corvette

molimoli said:

Nancy Back to wk may be a good thing right now my sister

,Now that you are starting to second guess your decision please know that it will lead to no good doing that as the next thing will be regret which is a deep  sigh away from awful depression.You are alive, going down this ally will change nothing that you've already done.

At the time you agreed to that  treatment you must have thought it was your best option and may well turn out that way.If you had refused that treatment maybe you would also spend precious days regretting and worrying about the what ifs.

We can't change yesterday into tomorrow so we must step out of it courageously and embrace the newness of tomorrow with awsome new point of view and an unshakable resolve to absolutely not lose the rest of your life to cancer.

I sense you at an emotional crossroad, work or social activities will be your savior from this cancer's sunami that is threatening to suck you in. Don't let it get in the way of "the beginning of your new life'

Moli-- wishing happy belated birthday, added strength and renewed courage.

 

Nancy, Happy Birthday! I have found that we have emotional ups and downs on this journey. The good news is.... you are alive and strong enough to go back to work. That is a major milestone and will give you an emotional boost once your cross into the working world again. Who knows? You might find that you love your job or you might find that it isn't for you and decide to find something else that makes you feel passion. I hope your first day back brings you a sense of peace and loads of support from your co-workers.

Like Moli said... we can't change our decisions on treatment so no point in dwelling on it. I asked my oncologist on Friday how much longer the neuropathy would hang around in my feet and he said a couple more months. That would put me at 6 months post chemo so I hope he is right. Mine isn't bad enough for pain meds or therapy but it sure isn't fun. I can't imagine what you and others that have it real bad are going through. I hope the PT helps you overcome the nerve damage!

I hope that you woke up refreshed this morning and ready to start your new life!

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

Happy birthday, Nancy!!!  I agree, we all have a BC (before cancer) and an AC (after cancer) life.  I have had severe neuropathy but just this week at physical therapy, I have felt better than I have in a long time.  I think the therapy is working.

Good luck at work tomorrow and know you have a whole bunch of "cancer associates" behind you!!  Be sure to let us know how it goes.

Love,

Eldri

Congrats on going back to work and happy birthday ! Birthdays have a new meaning now don't they?! Rest assure you had the treatments that you thought were best for you and you've done all you could. Best of luck on your new day!

ncg007 said:

Thank you

Thank you all for the words of encouragement.  I'm not regretting my treatment decision, I know I made the right choice.  I'm just discouraged I ended up in so much pain that snuck up on me weeks after my final treatment.  I know that in time and with PT I'll feel better.  Being back to work is overwhelming and will take time to adjust, but I am happy to be back.  My office was decorated to welcome me back and I received many gifts and hugs, it was nice to know I was missed.  

Nancy

 

You will have many many better days as time goes by. Team members seem to have your back and that will be helpful for your new journey

Moli--Hugging.

ncg007 said:

Suzanne

Suzanne...I am happy to hear you are doing so well after all you've been through with two cancers. I wish you all the best with your appointment and that you get to graduate to yearly visits.  I think that part of my current emotional state was due to me holding everything in for too long and it has built up.  Also going back to work is closure to this horrible chapter of my life and then being unsure of what the future holds.  I remained a rock through all this, showed no emotions, never once complained and it was like this never phased me.  My dr was even shocked by my non-reaction, it was only when she told me I would lose my hair that my expression changed.  I'm so sorry that your hair has not returned.  I only cried twice, not even in front of my husband. The first time was listening to a friend singing with his acoustic guitar George Harrison's "Give Me Love", this was on the day I received the news of stage 3C1 & needing treatment and the other time was when I finished my last of 28 radiation treatments.  Oh well, life goes on.  I hope to soon return to my old younger self, I know I will.  By the way I now listen to that George Harrison song on a daily basis, it is a great song and is kind of like my daily prayer. 

Give me love...Give me love...Give me peace on earth...Give me light...Give me life...Keep me free from birth...Give me hope...Help me cope with this heavy load...

Got your attention, huh?  I saw the movie Burlesque right after finishing chemo.  I was with 2 girlfriends.  When Cher sang "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" I sat there in that dark theater and bawled.  My friends never knew.  The song was about her business going south, but the words were definitely applicable to having cancer.   The only other time I cried was at a memorial service and I typically cry then, anyway, but I cried hard watching the memorial video.  Triggers . . I will listen to Geo Harrison now.

Suzanne

Dearest Nancy - I felt so encouraged to write to you this morning. I want you to know that you are a brand new miracle. Happiest of birthdays! If you didn't cry at least twice a day I'd wonder what was wrong. All things are new, for all of us after this diagnosis. We all know that every day is a gift - so why don't we remember to celebrate that? Sometimes the darkeness creeps in on us, that's why. We are clinging to our old selves because we want that back - but you are a WARRIOR now. Despite the tears, you are stronger than you ever thought you could be - you have endured more than you ever thought possible - and you have analyzed every minute of your past and speculated on every moment of your future. You are aware - painfully aware - of how precious life is and it's awareness that regular people without cancer don't have. I like to think that is exactly the quality that makes us special. The "no sweating the small stuff" mentality - and we don't get caught up in the tiny dramas of life that they do. Your body is battle scarred for sure, and the effects of your battle will persist reminding you of all you've survived. Go back to work and show your new self - find good support in some of your coworkers where you can, and live with the enlightened knowledge that you have never been stronger. 

Carpe Diem Friend! 

Billie

Good to know your return to work went well.  I've had you on my mind.

My 9 yr old grandson made a personal card to "my all-loving Gram" when my cancer was diagnosed.  Many sweet things were included but also this advice (taken from a favorite basketball coach who died from cancer).  Included in his sweet card were these words:

"there are 3 things you should do every day.  Number 1 is laugh.  Number 2 is spend some time in thought.  Number 3 is you should have some emotions move you to tears.  If you laugh, think, and cry - that's a heck of a day.  You do all of those incredible things every day and we will take that trip to California this summer."

To cry is to be human.  Go for it!