This and that

MAliceR
MAliceR Member Posts: 98
in Colorectal Cancer #1

My hubby and I took a short pre-surgery vacation to the beach this past week. The weather was fabulous. It was nice to get away for a short time. I would have preferred Vegas but since I have been grounded until after surgery. It was the next best thing.

On Tuesday morning I got a call that a very long time friend had passed from her cancer. She was diagnosed in June. Treatment was unsuccessful. I spoke with her 2 days before she passed and she was at peace. Bless her heart. I will miss her. Emotionally I feel beat up. Her death coming so soon after my own recurrence has left me fearful and unsettled. I can not seem to find my strength this time. 

My surgery scheduled for April 21st has been pushed out to the 23rd. Supposedly the hospital overbooked the operating schedule for that day. My surgeon is coming in on a Saturday so it won't be pushed out even farther. 2 more weeks to wait. I feel like I have a time bomb inside me waiting to explode. 

On a positive note. We have had a week of lovely sunshine. Summer is coming. I am ready to put winter behind me.

Blessings

MAlice

 

Comments

  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave Member Posts: 1,289 Member
    #2
    Ticking time bomb, I remember

    Ticking time bomb, I remember that feeling, since those were the words of the first doc to scope me. Losing Cindy a year ago and Pop in January, along with all the tests, scans followed by pet scans, scoped again at both ends, two needle aspirations of my lung, and more has made the beat up feeling my default setting. I have to push for better feelings and outlooks. The upsides are work picking up [my favorite therapy] and a Vegas trip for my boy's 21st b-day, that changed from a 4 day debauchery to one day there, then Red Rocks, Death Valley, up to Mono Lake, over Tioga Pass, into Yosemite, on to San Fran, then down the coast. His idea to make it about travel, and it has me so excited, I feel like a kid again. I guess my point MAlice, is that through the initial stuff, and then the two reoccurances, I wasn't able to look ahead to anything. The uncertainty, my wife's treatments and trevails, created the longest, darkest tunnel I could have imagined. Yet here I am, looking towards the light, knowing it can be turned off again, but feeling optomistic, as I push forward. I want this feeling for you, that you get on the other side of the surgery and recovery, to find your own light, and the hope it brings. Summer is coming..................................Dave

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
    #3
    I'm sorry you're feeling

    I'm sorry you're feeling down. The waiting for things to happen part is the worst. May I ask what cancer your friend had? Sorry for being nosy but I'm always curious. April 23 was my parents anniversary and they were married for over 50 years and it's also my closest friend's birthday so it's a good luck day! 

    Jan

  • MAliceR
    MAliceR Member Posts: 98
    #4
    JanJan63 said:

    I'm sorry you're feeling

    I'm sorry you're feeling down. The waiting for things to happen part is the worst. May I ask what cancer your friend had? Sorry for being nosy but I'm always curious. April 23 was my parents anniversary and they were married for over 50 years and it's also my closest friend's birthday so it's a good luck day! 

    Jan

    My friend had cervical

    My friend had cervical cancer. By the time they discovered it, it had spread to her other female parts, her kidneys, liver and mets to the lungs. They did radiation and chemo and in December felt she was doing well. Her scans the end of March showed it had spread all over. She was gone 2 weeks later.  Her partner of 30 years was with her through it all. She is also a close friend. Bless her heart when she called me to tell mr my friend had passed her concern was for me and how this would effect me going into my own surgery and treatment. Beautiful, caring friends. 

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
    #5
    MAliceR said:

    My friend had cervical

    My friend had cervical cancer. By the time they discovered it, it had spread to her other female parts, her kidneys, liver and mets to the lungs. They did radiation and chemo and in December felt she was doing well. Her scans the end of March showed it had spread all over. She was gone 2 weeks later.  Her partner of 30 years was with her through it all. She is also a close friend. Bless her heart when she called me to tell mr my friend had passed her concern was for me and how this would effect me going into my own surgery and treatment. Beautiful, caring friends. 

    Oh no, I'm so sorry. How sad.

    Oh no, I'm so sorry. How sad. It seems like cancer involving the female reproductive organs are a bugger. I keep hearing about people not lasting long after being diagnosed with them. Since my diagnosis a friend was diagnosed and passed from cervical cancer and it was very fast. It took about 4 months from start to finish. We were all very upset and nobody had the chance to get used to the idea. She seemed fine the week before. It really knocks you for a loop.

    Hugs and take care.

    Jan 

  • phuckcancer
    phuckcancer Member Posts: 63 Member
    #6
    MAlice,
     
    I am so glad you

    MAlice,

     

    I am so glad you were abl to enjoy a   nice sun filled getaway. I loveeee the sunshine :)

    I am planning (and hoping I can make the hubby go) on a weekend trip on his 1st off week from chemo. I want him to enjoy himself!

    I am so sorry to hear about your friend :(

    Wishing you all the success on your upcoming surgery (((hugs)))

     

     

  • vtspa6
    vtspa6 Member Posts: 172 Member
    #7
    So sorry to hear about your

    So sorry to hear about your friend passing.  I can imagine your friend will be with you in spirit during your surgery.

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