Moli updating.

molimoli said:

Updating.

Hi Ladies, I have followed some of your posts for the last week , some happy ones some sad ones and some frightening ones , In spirit I am drawn to where you are ,celebrating, crying and always wishing ,praying and hoping that you all will find contentment and get healing, If I don't address a post it is not indicative of lack of interest in the plight or subject matter at all, it is only that I have my plate full at this time and find it easier to whisper many prayers for you all.  I am always hugging and loving the thought that you are all there .Thanks for sharing so much of yourselves.

 Had  my scan on the 12th, Surgery will be very soon after result and final consultation on the 21st, providing that there are no additional tumors, if  active tumors are found elsewhere in my abdomen then the surgeon and I have agreed that it will not be sensible to start chasing them with surgery, Therefore, in the event of that I will opt out of surgical  treatment and follow through with alternative treatment arrangements I have made with an oncologist who uses alternative  approach which includes cannabis , other herbs and diet.  I am game for that , I will choose to call it "Moli's clinical trial"  instead of "Moli gone mad trial" Some of you my sisters will think it's the latter and to be honest  any given day I may agree with you but only for a short while until my rogue self asserts itself and re-convince me that I am a genius who knows exactly what I am doing.. Incidentally the oncologist looks like the mad scientist. I'll be in good company.LOL

I will update on the night of the 21st. Oh Lord, I bet many of you would like to save me from myself.I thank you for the thought, as I have even tried to save me from me many times but all attempts failed. I got me under tight raps, no rescuing happening.

I have had great news from my youngest daughter who as some of you may remember left for New York a couple months ago. She just got a 3years work visa to live and work in that City of her dreams,I am happy to live to see her living her dreams, happy to keep thoughts of impending doom from crowding out her sunshine. Upon initially getting the news by text, distance did not prevent me from seeing her wide smile and her lit eyes in my mind's eyes. It made my heart dance, My cup is almost full, I muttered to myself as I imagined me hugging her tight tight, tight. as I realize that my child rearing job is done, I am now demoted to an official cheer leader.I am happy she still calls me  'mom' and not that dreaded word 'mother'.  Just had to share my' happy' with you guys.Sorry to bore you.

Showers of blessings I wish for you all, may we all find NED by whatever means necessary. Nuff love, Moli.

Thanks so much for your update. You can ignore  my other post question! :-)

Moli - you never bore. Geesh!

While your decisions are not in line with mine, I recognize we all have to follow our own path. I will admit, I'm afraid for you but you have my support every step of your journey. I hope and pray that there are  no new tumors and that you get the surgery.

So glad your daughter is doing well in New York. I know you are and will continue to be a great cheerleader!

Looking forward to more good news on the 21st!

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

molimoli said:

Updating.

Hi Ladies, I have followed some of your posts for the last week , some happy ones some sad ones and some frightening ones , In spirit I am drawn to where you are ,celebrating, crying and always wishing ,praying and hoping that you all will find contentment and get healing, If I don't address a post it is not indicative of lack of interest in the plight or subject matter at all, it is only that I have my plate full at this time and find it easier to whisper many prayers for you all.  I am always hugging and loving the thought that you are all there .Thanks for sharing so much of yourselves.

 Had  my scan on the 12th, Surgery will be very soon after result and final consultation on the 21st, providing that there are no additional tumors, if  active tumors are found elsewhere in my abdomen then the surgeon and I have agreed that it will not be sensible to start chasing them with surgery, Therefore, in the event of that I will opt out of surgical  treatment and follow through with alternative treatment arrangements I have made with an oncologist who uses alternative  approach which includes cannabis , other herbs and diet.  I am game for that , I will choose to call it "Moli's clinical trial"  instead of "Moli gone mad trial" Some of you my sisters will think it's the latter and to be honest  any given day I may agree with you but only for a short while until my rogue self asserts itself and re-convince me that I am a genius who knows exactly what I am doing.. Incidentally the oncologist looks like the mad scientist. I'll be in good company.LOL

I will update on the night of the 21st. Oh Lord, I bet many of you would like to save me from myself.I thank you for the thought, as I have even tried to save me from me many times but all attempts failed. I got me under tight raps, no rescuing happening.

I have had great news from my youngest daughter who as some of you may remember left for New York a couple months ago. She just got a 3years work visa to live and work in that City of her dreams,I am happy to live to see her living her dreams, happy to keep thoughts of impending doom from crowding out her sunshine. Upon initially getting the news by text, distance did not prevent me from seeing her wide smile and her lit eyes in my mind's eyes. It made my heart dance, My cup is almost full, I muttered to myself as I imagined me hugging her tight tight, tight. as I realize that my child rearing job is done, I am now demoted to an official cheer leader.I am happy she still calls me  'mom' and not that dreaded word 'mother'.  Just had to share my' happy' with you guys.Sorry to bore you.

Showers of blessings I wish for you all, may we all find NED by whatever means necessary. Nuff love, Moli.

from my relatively short experience with cancer, it's that there is more than one way to skin this particular nasty cat.  I admire you, Moli, for being true to yourself and your needs as you fight this beast.  There is so much that even the doctors don't know, and I think the best of them acknowledge this and provide the best information that their hearts, training and experience allows.  But in the final analysis, it is each patient who has to make the decisions for herself on how to proceed for we are the ones who have to live the life that treatments leave us with.

The paths we choose may be different, but our destination is the same:  that party with NED.  

Peace to you, Moli.  I await your update on the 21st.

Chris

debrajo said:

Thats my girl!  Make you

Thats my girl!  Make you happy... God knows there is little joy in this cancer nightmare!  My DIL(42) is "Dying" from metestise breast cancer now.  The mets are in her bones and liver.  She is doing an oral chemo and is stable now.  They gave her 3-10 years(?), but she is very pro-active.  A friend of mine's DIL is also in the same boat and has decided to do nothing...at all.  Her husband helps by doing the MJ in his home.  She is 38 and has a 17 YO and a 7 YO.  It was too late for surgery, chemo didn't stop the tumor growth, neither did radiation.  So she quit everything.  Of the two girls, I think she is the happest.  My DIL is always on the hunt for SOMETHING to keep her stable....very nerve-racking!  So, whatever you are happiest with, so I(we) will be also.  I pray the scan shows a great go-ahead for surgery and that will be that!  Looking for the up-date and keeping up lifted-up.  Your daughter being in love with live is the greatest medicine we mama's can have!  Love to you, Debra

hope you called your doctor about the pain.  Pain is so debilitating, physically and mentally.  Please don't hurt when it's not necessary.

molimoli said:

Cindi,Eldri, Chris and

Cindi,Eldri, Chris and Debra,Thanks for your uplifting posts. warms my heart. Yes I will post an update on 21st or even before that as for the first time today,all day I am experiencing a pain in my left side,mid left side  closer to spinal column ,just where one would imagine the kidney to be . I have experienced no pain before , it sometimes seem to radiate to mid abdomen. I had to drink a new contrast last week for my scan ,I hope it hasn't done a job on my kidneys, it's always a risk to drink that stuff but it goes with the investigative program . It seems that if Cancer don't get me, it's business partners will, but must they come on board bringing pain, I hate pain and had hoped to escape it . will call radiology dept. in the morning.  Did any of you experienced this on your journey?

Nuff blessing for Cancer sufferers all over the world,  Nuff love  to you all-my friends  and rocks on which I lean.

Moli

 

Hello Moli

sorry you are experiencing pain.  I know exactly the pain.   It's around the T8 of your spine and over and near base of rib cage.   It probably feels too like its cramping at times.  Sometimes you feel like the pain goes through your back to your front As if someone put a pencil through you.   In fact as I am typing this my back is feeling it now.  

my pain got bad for about 4 months and I also had stiffness and numbness of my left arm and had a hard time sleeping.  I had all the nerve tests done and neck scans.    i had a knot in my back that I could feel and at the base of my neck and shoulders.  I kept mentioning it to all my doctors as I thought it could be a recurrence or kidney issue.   No one seemed concerned.  I even had a sleep study test fine but I passed it.   I finally went to physical therapy and had some massages which really helped.  I also had my regular pet scans which didn't show anything.   

concerning scans I wouldn't worry too much   Since 2014 I have had 7 PET scans  2 MRIs  a bone density scan   Neck X-ray several ultrasounds and a several CT scans with and without contrast   Lol

as you know I do have a ureter issue but everyone said my kidney was fine even though that pain is over the kidney

then in October I got that pancreatitis which no one knows what caused it

ive started a new job and use the computer and I think it is aggravating my back    but at least I can say I started a new job!!!!!

Moli I hope you feel better!!!

Kathy

molimoli said:

Thanks for good wishes guys,

I had to go to emerg. yesterday as I was very uncomfortable with the pain. Doctor did a scan without contrast., however he only told me that nothing is wrong with my kidneys, I asked him to tell me what he saw ,he told me that he will send the result directly to the surgeon and they can discuss it with me,he also sympathetically said "you are going to have to make plans soon as to the rest of your life,with very frank and sad face, poor guy I felt that he needed a hug ,I told him that I had made all necessary plans , you should see the relief on his face, it was comical. I hugged him in my mind. The fact that he wouldn't say what he saw on the scan tells me that my goose ,if not totally cooked  it's definately in the oven. not to worry I am planning to get out, or at least try. He gave me naproxen and oxycodone as if to say go knock yourself out. thanks to naproxen  I had a full night sleep. This too is life,interesting how things changes every day that we wake, thanks to the Creator for the 'waking part'  .

Will update on 21st .when I will know exactly what other parts have joined my pelvis in their joint plan to kill me ,shiiiitttt!!!

May NED blessings fall on the lot of us quickly or the courage to accept the things that can't be changed by our actions.

I am hugging my sisters. Plenty Love, Moli.

Keep that amazing strength that you have.  It will help you get through this.  I am so sad that those nasty little cells are finding new spots to hide in you body.  Maybe what the ER doctor saw was something that your surgeon can take care of.  Could be that you will just be short more body parts.  I am missing a bunch by now.  I am glad the ER was able to  you something for the pain. I am thinking of you and wishing you the best.  Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

molimoli said:

Thanks for good wishes guys,

I had to go to emerg. yesterday as I was very uncomfortable with the pain. Doctor did a scan without contrast., however he only told me that nothing is wrong with my kidneys, I asked him to tell me what he saw ,he told me that he will send the result directly to the surgeon and they can discuss it with me,he also sympathetically said "you are going to have to make plans soon as to the rest of your life,with very frank and sad face, poor guy I felt that he needed a hug ,I told him that I had made all necessary plans , you should see the relief on his face, it was comical. I hugged him in my mind. The fact that he wouldn't say what he saw on the scan tells me that my goose ,if not totally cooked  it's definately in the oven. not to worry I am planning to get out, or at least try. He gave me naproxen and oxycodone as if to say go knock yourself out. thanks to naproxen  I had a full night sleep. This too is life,interesting how things changes every day that we wake, thanks to the Creator for the 'waking part'  .

Will update on 21st .when I will know exactly what other parts have joined my pelvis in their joint plan to kill me ,shiiiitttt!!!

May NED blessings fall on the lot of us quickly or the courage to accept the things that can't be changed by our actions.

I am hugging my sisters. Plenty Love, Moli.

Your post brought a tear to my eye but then I had to smile when you said your goose is in the oven but not totally cooked.  I feel like you - my body is trying to kill my mind.  I think of my mind as my life and the body just takes orders from the mind but when cancer or other life-threatening illness hits, it's like the body is revolting against those orders.  In the end, the body usually wins.  My biggest fear before getting cancer was losing my mind.  My stepfather and a dear aunt had Alzheimers for years before they died.  But now, I think maybe they're the lucky ones.  

Take care, my friend, and thank you for the hug.  They are always greatly appreciated.

Love,

Eldri