Having a Down Day

annalexandria said:

I hear ya...

I had to resign from my job in 2010.  The perfect position for me (I worked as a public librarian, and it was a sub job where I could say yes or no to shifts...great for raising kids while making a little cash), and it's unlikely I'll get a chance to return to it at this point.  Thinking about making some kind of career change but that's complicated too.

Cancer is a thief.  Even if we get to keep out lives (which is huge of course), it still takes away so much.

   That there is a vacumn concerning cancer. I have type two diabetes. Those that have it in Australia usually join  ndis which is a group that provides a long term healthcare plans for those suffering with diabetes. It saves me quite a bit of money. My health care group runs free clinics that cover things like diet and nutrition and do free foot checks as well as glucometer checks plus I get my test strips free. With cancer there is nothing. Colonoscopies are my responsibility and paid for by me . They check for new cancers but there is no health care plan to monitor the ongoing health of survivors , at least not in Australia. When I had chemotherapy they claimed that they were obliged to give the patient the best option which killed cancer but not the sufferer. They further told me when I asked about longterm side effects , donn't worry we will deal with that when it occurs. They haven't and they don't. Some of the drugs they use were quite unethical. For example , I was on levamisloe ,acouple of years after I was on it , it was banned for fatal side effects. They still have to be considered responsible for giving it to me. It seems to me that there are just too many survivors going thru hard times for there not to be a duty of care to them. Certainly the medical profession was not guilty of giving us cancer but they are guilty for the quality of our treatment and to some degree our long term health. In many cases survivors can not work so they can be seen to be a burden on society. Unfortunately we are not judged as cancer survivors but as sufferers of other conditions unrelated to cancer. I ust feel that there needs to be a much more honest assessment of cancer survivors and the promlems they face as a result. When I applied for health benefits whilst I was recovering from surgery and chemo , I was told there were none available as cancer is a short term illness. Rant over... Ron.

JanJan63 said:

Yeah, I saw a post on

Yeah, I saw a post on facebook today where the person is in a flap over the fact that her TV isn't working and nobody can come and look at it for two whole days! Should she get an antenna for now? I felt like replying and saying that I'd pray for her or something sarcastic like that.

I think my problem is just a few things all at once. And, yes, I'm tired of the constant worry and never getting a real answer. If a person has an infection or the flu or whatever else they can tell when you're over it.

I'm also unhappy because I kind of feel like I don't have much of a purpose right now. I'm working in an area I have experience in but it's not a job that helps people or is fulfilling at the end of the day. I miss the business I owned and I'm still angry that cancer took that away from me.

I blew up on a grocery line once.  People were bitching that the lines were long and they had to wait for 15 minutes because there weren't enough cashiers.  For a few minutes I tolerated it and then the conversation went something like this . . .WE LIVE IN A COUNTRY WHERE THERE IS FOOD AND WATER AT YOUR FINGERTIPS, WHEN YOU HAVE TO SEND YOUR KIDS 6 MILES TO GET WATER AND DON"T KNOW IF YOU WILL EAT FOR DAYS, LET ME KNOW.  AND BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING STUPID, I HAVE COLON CANCER BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, I LIVE IN A COUNTRY WHERE I CAN FIND TREATMENT AND HOPEFULLY BEAT THIS SO NOTHING YOU CAN SAY RIGHT NOW WILL IMPRESS ME... TRUST ME I WIN!  NOW SHUT UP BECAUSE SOME OF US DON"T WANT TO HEAR YOUR COMPLAINTS ABOUT HAVING TO WAIT A FEW MINUTES.  SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO WAIT. And with that there was silence and people waited.  lol  I think I scared people but I was pretty pissed off that day and didnt' care.  I was tired, I was sick from chemo, the cold in the supermarket was painful due to neuropathy and I still had to make sure my kids had food.  Now when strangers **** to me on a line or about something really stupid, I tell them that I just beat colon cancer so I'm not impressed and they shut up.  Family can do it because they are family and regular life is hard enough, cancer just adds that extra are you kidding me!

Helen321 said:

I am now NED and still can't

I am now NED and still can't go on vacation either. It's been 5 years. Too many after cancer doctor appts. and problems with sickness and neuropathy not to mention the cost.  The cost of cancer is mind blowing not only do you have to pay for doctors and meds but there are so many days of missed work and it all just spirals.  I owe a lot of people a lot of money at this point.  I also had to tell my job that they were killing me giving me assignments I used to be able to do presurgery.  I just didn't want to be a whiner and tell them I was in serious pain.  People don't get it.  I'm sorry you're still going through it, it totally sucks.  I'm hoping to be able to take a vacation in a year or so.  My "escape" this summer is going to be the beach and walking through the woods at the local park even if that means getting up at 6am so I can have some peace and quiet. 

We camp at the beach every summer for several days, near Dana Point. It's cheap and easy, maybe 100 minutes from home, so I can stay there and go to work when needed. There's plenty of interesting day trips from Beaumont, the desert, the mountains, LA are all about an hour or less away. The longer trips are tougher these days, the time, the cost, but I'll figure it out. The boy turns 21 in April, and I promised a Vegas trip so he can learn the "ropes". I need a trip for the granddaughter, before going with the old guy loses any appeal, maybe north to Yosemite and other stuff. So much rides on staying "clear" besides my own comfort. I keep thinking life owes me a break, but we all know what crap that is. So I'll settle for some luck, and wish it for the rest of you as well......................................Dave