It wasn't fair and I'm sorry
It wasn't fair and I'm sorry. You guys are the best and going through the same hell I am and I shouldn't have put my mental problems on you.
I have looked into some of the new trauma treatments that Chris (Editgirl) suggested to me and they look promising. I even found someone in the Green Bay area that offers it. I am going to contact my GP on Monday and ask her for a referral to them.
I have decided to discontinue chemo and will speak to my gyno/oncologist about doing the radiation or not when I see him on Tuesday. I will have the port taken out and, if I'm lucky, the infection will finally clear up. Hopefully, my liver function and my blood will return to normal. For the first time in a long time, I slept pretty good last night; probably because I'm 12 days past my last chemo so physically I'm recovering and mentally because of my decision. I only had one episode where I had to wake myself fully and reprogram my sleep cycle and the repetitive dream wasn't so frightening.
Really I am NED since my CT scan back in the beginning of October so have much to be thankful for including all of you!!
Love,
Eldri
Comments
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I am so glad
you are going to f/u with therapy for PTSD and that you don't have to travel too far. I've done a lot of reading (nurse with military background and 2 brothers who served in Vietnam) so I know there are better treatments out there. Even if you start sleeping better, I would still follow through. You know it's back there lurking, waiting to try to get ahold of you again. Get yourself some good tools.
it must be such a relief to have made a decision. I'm glad to hear the port is coming out. I've been apprehensive since the infection started. I've cared for too many patients needing long term IV therapy for complications such as you have. Good luck
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Eldri ...
I'll speak only for myself here.... I'm GLAD you reached out to us. And, so happy you were given a potential direction to follow.
The many women here have loads of history to pull from. We are lucky to have them.
You sound like you are at peace with decision. I'm so happy for you about that!
Take care of yourself. Get some much needed SLEEP! And, have a wonderful Christmas with your family.
Love and Hugs,
Cindi
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I am glad you reached out.
I am so glad that this is the kind of place were we can all express our feelings and thoughts the way they are. Everyone has different feelings and putting them all together everyone helps each other. Do not be afraid to say and ask what you need.
It sounds like you are at peace with your decision. That is great. I hope restful sleep keeps heading your way.
Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann
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i am only the daughter ofLou Ann M said:I am glad you reached out.
I am so glad that this is the kind of place were we can all express our feelings and thoughts the way they are. Everyone has different feelings and putting them all together everyone helps each other. Do not be afraid to say and ask what you need.
It sounds like you are at peace with your decision. That is great. I hope restful sleep keeps heading your way.
Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann
i am only the daughter of someone in your situation; but i am so glad for your honesty.
God bless
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