To painful to use dialator still after 6 months since finishing radiation.

feel better Annabelle,

you are hero. Without such a pain I feel the same sometimes, so you are truly hero.

I hope your doctors find good solution very soon.

Courage!

I understand how you feel.  It is so darned frustrating to go through all of this and run into problems.  No one really explained everything to you.  I feel that way too when I run into new problems!  You feel betrayed like you did everything they asked and you still have issues.  I agree with another person about not using the dilator or perhaps buying a vibrator?  Something you can control the size.  And yes someousais they used oralgel to numb the aforementioned area.  Don't aak if you can use it internally or not I have no idea.  Hoping you Re doing better now.

NoTimeForCancer said:

darlin', you can vent this

darlin', you can vent this group anytime!!  

You have a lot going on, so your problems may be exacerbated by the other health issues.  For me, lying down is the easiest using the dialator.  As for lube, it is traditional K-Y, not the really thin "Ultra" stuff.  That doesn't stick to the darn thing like you need.

 

Please call your doctor and ask for some numbing cream. In my opinion, there is no reason for us to have to endure a painful exam. I'm the one that uses Orajel to numb the area before my exams.  I'm finding that since my hysterectomy and going through chemo that it doesn't do as well as it did before. But, it still helps a lot. I have not yet had the radiation so I don't know how that is going to effect my already "broken" area. Scares me to death.  The reason I'm suggesting something other than Orajel is because it burns when you first put it on. So, I'm hoping there is something out there for you that won't burn your already fried area.

If they can't provide anything, then they need to give you something to knock you out. Maybe like what they use before a colonoscopy?

Take care of yourself and I hope you start feeling better soon.

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

Annabella, I am so sorry you are going thru so much pain. Your doctor does not sound very empathetic! It's hard to be excited about good results if it doesn't feel that way! How arrogant! It is obvious that something is going on and needs to be addressed. 

Had you had vaginal pain in the past or did it begin after the radiation? I had 3 internal radiation sessions in June of 2014. I have had very little vaginal scarring, but I still experience some pain when using the dialator, even after almost 18 months. I never had a vaginal pain before my surgery and radiation, so I am sure it is due to the radiation.

The side effects of chemo also take quite a while to go away and can leave you feeling fatigued as well as feeling the effects of things like peripheral neuralgia for quite sometime. You had so many health problems when you began treatment, I think the toll it has taken on your body is much greater than normal. Hopefully time will work its wonders and you will move away from this suffering. 

Perhaps your regular doctor can confer with your gyn/onc to delve into what is causing your pain. You are in so much physical and emotional stress and need a hand up to give to confidence that you will recover and live a full life. Things are not as bleak as they seem right now. The time that cancer has stolen from you is also the time you have had to gain insights into the meaning and value of life. No one would ever want to go through the pain, suffering and overwhelming fear we have all experienced but it has awakened in us a greater appreciation of all that life has to offer and a fierce rage to grasp onto life and fight like h... anything that tries to take it away!  In peace and caring, Sandy

Annabella Rose said:

I had my appointment today

After being almost 3 hours late, the Dr. Finally came in and gave me an internal and Pap smear. I told him I have been in a lot of pain in my pelvic area plus inside my vaginal area. He said he will be very gentle and use a child size speculum. He was very gentle but it still hurt so bad. I cried out in pain. He said he was sorry I was hurting so much but the good news is that everything inside was healed with no signs of scar tissue and I didn't have to use the dilator anymore since was all healed open the way it should be. I could not understand how I could be in so much pain and him telling me everything looks very good insie.

he said if the nausea and tightness in my stomach still bothers me he would send me for a cat scan to make sure no cancer is starting problems. He said it's too soon since my chemo and radiation and that the cancer shouldn't recure that soon. He said to check with my neurologist to see if the stomach and nausea could be a M.S. flare. If not then to call his office to make a appointment to get a cat scn.

I asked him again about Why my insides hurt, ache and burns so bad. And if it could be nerve damage that will always be with me? He said he didn't know why I'm hurting so bad but I should be thankful that everything looks good and there's no signs of cancer and that my blood work was very good.

I am thankful but I'm thankful and in pain and I don't know why.

its going to be a pain pill night tonight.

Annabella, you have been thru so much and you're a champ.  I would not stop using your dilator because you will continue to have pelvic exams.  I went on the internet way before I had radiation and actually ordered a couple different sets before I had radiation so I could get the hang of it beforehand.  I had three rounds of radiation last summer following radical surgery and chemo.  I went to the drugstore and got myself some vaginal lubricant (I found gel works best).  I use the dilator  propped up in bed watching TV and try to keep my sessions around 5-10 minutes.  The nurses in radiology told me I only needed to use it for 5-10 minutes a few times a week.  I do it about once a week now to keep everything open and supple and it seems all I need now.  The up side is that it also makes sex much easier and I was nervous about sex for a long time after all that I went through.  My husband was very gentle.  But the dilator is important.  Find a lubricant and position you like and I think in time things will be better.  Your body has been through a lot. It takes time.  Take good care!  Hang in there!  Fondly, Helen