Another new Caregiver needing help

VegasGeorge
VegasGeorge Member Posts: 1
in Caregivers #1

My wife is 71.  She went through pancreatic cancer surgery about two years ago.  We had almost 2 years of good living.  Now, it is back and has spread to her ovaries and maybe elsewhere.  Stage four, metastatic pancreatic caner, not good.  I have her at home, and take her for chemo once a week.  She also suffers from dementia, which has been exascerbated by the cancer and treatments.  I'm at sea with all of this.  The doctors tell me that she will not survive, but offer no more information.  I guess they just don't know.  But, I need some questions answered, even if it is just a best guess being offered.

How long will I be able to care for her at home?  How will I know when it's time to remove her to a hospice?  What about pain management?  She isn't in any significant pain right now, so how long will that last?  She has terrible mental reactions to pain meds, and has to be restrained in bed for her own safety.  Is that something carefivers do at home?  Where does Medicare draw the line when it comes to hospice home services?  When she evertually needs the pain meds, someone is gong to have to monitor her 24/7.  Is there any objective way to assess quality of life versus the debilitating down side of treatment?

I feel pretty darn helpless with all this.  Right now she is so fatigued I can only get her out of bed to go potty.  She has a horrific rash all over her body.  And she has been incontinent the last two days.  Much more of this, and I'll be at my wits end.

Comments

  • Ladylacy
    Ladylacy Member Posts: 773 Member
    #2
    Your Wife

    First I am so sorry to hear about your wife and pray for peace and comfort for you and her.  Caregiving is hard there is no doubting that.  I cared for my husband for almost five years thru 72 rounds of radiation, 10 rounds of chemo and surgery.  He finally said enough no more.  He lasted another good 2 years and then went downhill.  He was on inhome hospice for almost two years.  No problems with Medicare paying for it.  The way it was explained to me is that they don't put you into inpatient hospice until the end.  I know the last week of my husband's life, our nurse kept asking me about putting him inpatient and I told her no, he didn't want that.  He had been bedridden for the last month of his life.

    Medicare doesn't pay for nursing homes, except for rehabilitation and that is only for up to 100 days which starting on the 21st day you have a co-pay.  I have a friend whose partner had prostate cancer and then it went to his bones.  She was unable to care for him (she is 85) and was told to find a personal care home to take him.  Depending on where you live and how much care is needed, the cost varies.  I think she said his was $2500 per month.   Medicare didn't pay for that but did pay for hospice to come into the personal care home.  He only lived another month after she put him in the personal care home.  My oldest sister is bedridden and they have to pay for someone to come in daily to help care for her because Medicare doesn't.

    Hospice offers to have someone come in and bath the patient 3x a week and will offer to have someone come in and sit with the patient for an hour so you can run errands, otherwise all the cost is yours.  Hospice does provide pain medication and at the very end hospice will provide 24 hour nursing care which medicare will pay for.  All this is something you will have to check since it seems everything varies by state any more.  Also her doctor will have to request hospice.

     

     

  • cheatinlil
    cheatinlil Member Posts: 197
    #3
    I'm glad Ladylace gave you

    I'm glad Ladylace gave you good info on the stuff I have no idea about.  I just wanted you to know you are not alone.  I think take it one day at a time and time will reveal when the right time for everything is.  Try not to worry about the things that aren't happening yet and focus on the things that are (easier said than done!).  I'm sorry we are both here :(

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