Post-BMT depression or personality change?

Hi everyone,

my husband (40 y.o.) went through a BMT 10 months ago.
He fought numerous infections since but his bloodwork is almost normal now and he is not on steroids anymore. He only had a chemo for 2 days before the BMT and never ever again. He still is, of course, taking lots of medications though.
Last 2 months I started to see his personality changes. He has mood swings, feeling self-pity, and he is very irritated, extremely sensitive, self-centered, and is acting up. He is starting fights over absurd small things (like why did I cut a carrot the way I did and why did I not cook a meal a specific way etc.), but the fight grows into a really nasty thing where he accuses me of being lazy, not able to sacrifice, not taking a better care of him, he slams the door, hits the wall with his fist, etc etc. I am not going to give you a list of what I am doing for him, suffice to say that I take care of the whole household including all the admin work like bills, his company issues, and a 2-y.o. child plus I was driving him for 3 months to the hospital every day an stayed there with him from 8am till 5pm. He won`t do 1 thing to help me (and he could!) but still has the nerve to call me lazy if I dare to take a short nap in the afternoon bec. I`m tired of a 2-hour intense cleaning of the apartment.
Anyways, my question is, what am I supposed to do? He is not willing to take any anti-depressants bec. he simply won`t admit that he has a problem. He would never go to any therapy. He refuses any counseling. He thinks he is OK. I`m saying he is definitely NOT. He is acting like a 2-y.o., like if he wanted to punish me for something despite the fact that I am his only caregiver and went through a hell with him. I called his doctor twice telling him about this situation, but they can`t help him unless he wants to talk to a specialist. They said it should not be from the medication bec. he is not taking any steroids anymore. I thought the physical part of the recovery was the hardest one but now I see it hit his brain, too, and I have no idea what to do. Everyone expected that since he has no major side effects and actually started to work etc., he would enjoy his new life and be happier and appreciate the gift he got. Instead of that, despite his fine physical recovery, I have to deal with his emotional issues now. And frankly, I feel like I just have no more energy to deal with this anymore plus it hurts me a lot when instead of at least noticing my help he accuses me of being lazy. I am exhausted from all this caregiver`s role and sick and tired of dealing with the transplant, I would need a break myself and no a new ordeal with an unbalanced mind. Also, I am not sure if this would ever stop and if so, when. Looks like he hates the whole world for what has happened to him and thinks that I should continue taking a supercare of him, but I am simply exhausted and can`t continue like this. Until recently he would refuse to even prepare his own medication to take, I had to do everything for him, he would rather sit on the couch for 1 hour and wait for me to do that instead of doing it himself. Look like he enjoyed the care he was given and now he demands it forever. He was demanding before the BMT too but I have a feeling that now he just turned into a very cold, calculating patient who sees me mainly as his servant. He would prefer me to only think about him and he is jealous if I try to do something else - for myself. Anyways, I do not recognize the person I got married to and his parents said they were afraid to even call him bec. he said to them that they were bothering him with their calls.
Is it possible that the BMT - radiation (3 days) and the chemo (2 days) and the meds and everything changed him so much? Why is he like this when physically he is doing quite good and he still has lots of support from his friends and family? Is there any chance that it would improve? I can`t be focused on him so much anymore, since I am tired and need to start taking care of myself finally, plus of our baby. Why is he so nasty to me? I dod not cause his illness yet he behaves like I owe him something. Anyone having a similar problem and how do you deal with it if the person strictly refuses any psychological treatment?
Thanks a lot!