Just venting a bit

Trubrit said:

Have some wine with your whine

Actually, I think you shuold have chocolate. I'm not sure the wine is the best thing.

About the job, this is what happened to me - Back in March of this year, my old boss returns to our little rural town, one day a week, just like before (rural Podiatrist). He quit coming the month before I was diagnosed. So, he comes back and he wants me to work for him again. I sat him down, I told him my problems with some lingering side effects, mostly the chemo brain and neuropathy, and he said he had no problem working with me, as long as I ddin't make any major mistakes (think drawing meds for shots). And now I am doing really well. 

So, if your boss is willing to be patient with you, I think you need to be patient with yourself. 

You've had a VERY rough ride. Be patient. If you are slow and your boss doesn't mine, run with it. You will get better as the weeks go by. You will pick up the new program, it might take you a bit longer, but you will do it. 

Life is great. Life is hard. They both go hand in hand I think. 

Cyber hugs.

Sue - Trubrit

Thank you Sue. I think I'm just all doom and gloom these days. I had the cancer and then two abcesses at the resection site which put me in the hospital twice and an infection in the incision site that prevented me from having the mop up chemo when I should have and then the blood clot and having to relearn everything physical. I feel like I have no luck. I look at the blood clot situation where I should have died and they couldn't explain how I survived five cardiac arrests and then came back without mental issues. I ask myself am I lucky and blessed because I survived what should have been unsurvivable or am I unlucky because it happened at all? I can't seem to get past this feeling that I'm kind of cursed.

Jan

lp1964 said:

Dear Friend,

I'm a dentist myself and I hate those softwares. They are a pain..... Relax, take your time. Sounds like your employer is a great person. Maybe look it up on YouTube. this is how I learn a lot of stuff. 

I know sometimes life gives us too much to handle. The last 2-3 years is a neverending struggle for me too. What do you do? You suck it up and keep going. I always say: trouble will always find us, it sneaks in through the key hole. But the good thing we have to search, find and stop to enjoy. I'm hoping soon I will have the time and energy to do that more. 

Take care,

Laz

Thank you Laz. I appreciate the support.

Jan

jen2012 said:

Jan,  I'm sorry about your

Jan,  I'm sorry about your dog  I know how hard it is.  I can tell he is your baby.  Just think of the good life you have given him and the love he has known.  

You need a break - maybe just a good book to lose yourself in.  Maybe a night out with your husband or a friend, but yes you need to do something fun.  Can you get away for a short vacation?  A change of scenery is always good.

Thanks Jen. I do spend some nice quiet time on a regular basis and I read a lot. My dog is gone now, we did it several hours ago. We took him for one last walk and he got to eat what he wanted this morning. Bacon and weiners. PLus a last walk. He went quickly. I was holding his face between my hands and telling him what a good boy he'd been and sudddenly his head just dropped and he was asleep. Fourteen years old is a long life for a big dog. 

I think my problem these days is just that it seems like so many things went wrong over the last year and a half that I just expect it now. I feel like it's just a matter of time until things go south again.

Jan

jen2012 said:

I'm sorry, but yes he had a

I'm sorry, but yes he had a long life for a big dog.

And I get expecting things to go wrong.  The last 3 years have been unbelievable for us ... really difficult.  But there is always someone worse off.   There is a lady in our community that was diagnosed with ALS while pregnant with her first child.  That baby will never know her mom - terribly sad.  I don't want to say I feel better hearing of others worse off, but it certainly makes me feel less alone.  I know of another lady with stage 4 cancer that also lost a child to cancer - a nightmare.  Horrible accidents, horrible illnesses, ISIS...there is a lot of heartache and heartbreak.  

Try to enjoy the good days and count your blessings for what good you have.   And I hope I'm not coming off as preachy - I'm giving myself the same advice that I give to you.  I know it's easier said than done!   Once when I was telling my teenager daughter - there is always someone that has it worse, her response was "mom, you know we are "those people" that people refer to having it worse than them.  Kind of funny, kind of sad and probably not true, though it feels like it often.  

 

 

Thanks Jen, you didn't sound preachy at all. I agree with what you've said. When I was in the hospital earlier this year and was in physio learning to walk again my husband asked me if I pray to get better. I told him I didn't because there were people worse off than me who need His help more. My husband said what could be worse than being paralyzed. I told him I know I'll eventually get better but there are people who won't and people who are living in terrible conditions and suffering who are much worse off. My husband used to be a non believer until he prayed for me to get better when I was in a coma in December and I woke up from it the next day.

I should add that the last several weeks I was in the hospital this year I befriended a man who had MS. He's almost completely unable to move and is in a wheelchair that he manipulates with his one finger that is usable. He's very hard to understand and has to be fed by somone else. His wife rarely visited him and his teenage daughter refused to come and see him. But he still has a sense of humour and is fun to be around. By the time I met him I was able to walk up to ten feet with a walker and was no longer in a diaper. I was getting better. He's my age. Sadly, he's now in a nursing home and I can't visit him unless I'm put on the list of visitors and I never met his wife so I have no way of doing so.