2 years of NED for Laz!

lp1964
lp1964 Member Posts: 1,239 Member
in Anal Cancer #1

Hi Everyone,

Octoner 8th was 2 years when they removed my 5x4cm rectal cancer with clear margins. So that is the day I was considered NED. Life has been pretty good: I went back to work over a year ago, I love my work and keep doing the teaching business I started while sitting at home during chemo. Physically and financially I recovered more or less even though this colostomy has been providing me with endless frustration. 

Mentally is up and down. Sometimes those questions there are no answer to creep up on me. Why me? Why this way? I'm jellous of healthy-looking people and I say "healthy-looking, because you don't know what they have been dealing with. 

I stI'll have know relationship with my 18 year old daughter, but I know she is doing well, applying to the best colleges. My marriages have its challenges when I'm angry and inpatient. A lot of things have changed and have to learn to live with..

My 32 year old friend who was diagnosed with exactly the same cancer one year after me has been dead for month now. 

On that note and other reasons, I'm happy to be alive. Hopefully time will help me to heal more. 

I owe a lot to all of you, big thanks for that,

Laz

Comments

  • pializ
    pializ Member Posts: 508 Member
    #2
    NED

    Congratulations on your 2year anniversary! 

    As for ruminating on 'why me etc', we can meet ourselves coming back. Those thoughts just eat away at our precious present that has been the gift of treatment. Are those thoughts helpful? Have you thought of using mindfulness techniques. 

    I am glad that your daughter is doing well, & maybe one day she will realise the strength of your love you hold for her.

    As for challenges within your marriage, in fairness, life has been challenging and with the collateral damage treatment has had on your body, you are still adjusting to those changes. Be compassionate with yourself & celebrate how far you have come. 

    I am sorry for the loss of your friend. Too many taken by this illness. 

    Best wishes

    Liz

  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    #3
    Hi Laz!

    Congratulations to you on your 2-year NED anniversary!  That is so awesome and I am very happy for you!

    I'm sorry to hear there are many ups and downs in your life.  Obviously, everyone has those, but cancer definitely makes for additional challenges that can really test our patience and confidence.  It is definitely a life changer.  I think it's normal to have feelings of "why me?"  Cancer is just not fair!

    I hope that as your daughter matures, she will realize the value of having a relationship with you.  I also hope that you and your wife can overcome any of the challeges you face in your marriage. 

    I am so sorry to hear about your friend.  I currently have a friend who is losing her battle with cancer and it is heart wrenching.  I send you my sincerest condolences for the loss of your dear friend.

    May you keep moving forward and meet each and every challenge with the strength and courage you have shown in the past.  Your contributions to this board have been much appreciated.  I thank you for the support you've given to all of us and for the knowledge that you are always willing to share to help others.  May God bless you as you continue on this journey.

    Martha

  • jcruz
    jcruz Member Posts: 379 Member
    #4
    congratulations!

    Congratulations on your 2 year NED anniversary.

    My best to you,

    Janet

  • TraceyUSA
    TraceyUSA Member Posts: 316
    #5
    2 years - WOOHOO!

    Congratulations Laz!  That's GREAT news!

    I understand all the why me's and thinking everyone else has no problems.  The reality is everyone has some issue that plagues them, you just may not see it or know about it. 

    I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, it must be terrifying to see someone with the same illness not survive. 

    Illnesses put a lot of strain in relationships.  It's never just one person that creates these "challenges", you both have to be willing to work through them.

    I am confident that as time goes on you will continue to heal and find peace.

    Tracey

  • eihtak
    eihtak Member Posts: 1,473 Member
    #6
    Laz....

    Hi,

    I am sorry I did not see this sooner.....Congratulations on 2 years NED!!!! 

    Life can offer its share of frustrations whether cancer is involved or not, but I am sorry that your ostomy continues to be a concern as well. Have you connected with an ostomy nurse in your area?  They can be a tremendous help, but know that they are not readily available in some areas.....I guess this specific wound care is not the most desired profession.

    Try not to let jealousy get the best of you, as like you said yourself, we never can know what challenges others are facing that we do not see.

    Again, celebrate life and your good news being NED!

    katheryn

  • lizdeli
    lizdeli Member Posts: 569 Member
    #7
    eihtak said:

    Laz....

    Hi,

    I am sorry I did not see this sooner.....Congratulations on 2 years NED!!!! 

    Life can offer its share of frustrations whether cancer is involved or not, but I am sorry that your ostomy continues to be a concern as well. Have you connected with an ostomy nurse in your area?  They can be a tremendous help, but know that they are not readily available in some areas.....I guess this specific wound care is not the most desired profession.

    Try not to let jealousy get the best of you, as like you said yourself, we never can know what challenges others are facing that we do not see.

    Again, celebrate life and your good news being NED!

    katheryn

    Laz

    Congratulations on your 2 year NED!  I hope it gives you new energy that enables you to look forward with a refreshed perspective.  You have been through a lot and yes, it changes us somewhat.  I don't think we will ever know the answer to "why me" when we are diagonsed.  But on the other hand when we get through the battle and survive the same question remains, "why me"?  May your days ahead be lighter and easier for you.

    Wishing you the best,

    Liz

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