Saying goodbye to a kidney

Markr100
Markr100 Member Posts: 3
in Kidney Cancer #1

I went to the bathroom right before turning in for the night.  Blood in the urine is never a good thing.  I went to my family doctor the next day and they sent me for a CT to determine the size of the kidney stones that he was sure was causing the bleeding.  He contacted me one hour later with a cancer diagnosis and the promise of an oncology appointment.  This was on Friday, Sept 25th.  My oncologist sent me to a urologist.  I am scheduled for an open radical nephrectomy on October 14th for a 9.5 cm clinical Stage II mass in my left kidney.  They are concerned about one of the lymph nodes around the kidney.  It looks "weird" on the CT.  No spread to my lungs.

Just typing now to get the junk out of my head:

I suspect that everyone has the same mountain of anxiety when it comes to the diagnosis and operation.  I kind of feel numb to the whole situation at this point.  There is nothing I can do but wait.  These two weeks have felt like an eternity.  My company is great and have been supportive, but they won't let me handle any "stressful" issues or problems that comes with my job. It leaves too much time to think.

I haven't slept worth a bleep since Sept 25.  I took a Tylenol PM that was cleared by my surgeon a few nights ago.  I slept for 11 hours.  The sleeplessness is back.  I think I may need to take another dose tomorrow night to get a decent nights sleep.  I am running on 4.5-5 hours a night right now and that ain't good.

Trying to spend as much time with my kids as possible, just in case.  This is the only reason that I start to breakdown.  The thought of not being there is crushing me and this is most depressing aspect of the situation.  Trying to keep positive so it doesn't sit like a weight on me and affect my time with them.

I expect pain from the surgery and lots of it.  This makes me nervous but not scared.  I hate the way pain meds make me feel. We will see which wins out, the pain or dislike of pain meds.  

Just a friendly hint, do not Youtube the procedure that you are about to have.  It didn't resssure me and I can't unsee the images.

 

Thank you for allowing me to ramble.  

Comments

  • SFBob
    SFBob Member Posts: 33
    #2
    Anxiety, Upcoming Surgery

    Hi Markr100,

    Sorry to hear about your involuntary membership in our club. I'm a relative newbie, but there are some fantastic people here who have been wonderful sources of both support and information for me.

    I'm afraid the anxiety before scans and procedures is part of what goes along with the admission ticket. I had my radical nephrectomy in February of this year, and am currently doing my best to manage the "scanxiety" (great term I learned here) generated by my first post-surgery CT Scan two days from now.

    As far as the surgery goes: the pain may not turn out to be as bad as you are anticipating. A radical nephrectomy is actually a much simpler operation than a partial. Mine was done laparoscopically. I spent one night in the hospital, and four days after the surgery I really didn't even need pain medication anymore. I know that an open surgery can require a bit more healing time, but even there surgical techniques have improved greatly in recent years. (If you haven't yet, by the way, you might ask if a laparoscopic radical is an option for you. I know that in the case of the surgery group my urologist belongs to, they basically have surgeons who specialize in doing laparoscopic radicals, and others who specialize in open partials. A growing number of surgeons are now doing laparoscopic partials thanks to robotic techniques. Of course, you want your surgeon be comfortable and experienced with the technique used; e.g., you wouldn't want a surgeon who has mostly done open surgeries to be the one to do yours laparoscopically.)

  • icemantoo
    icemantoo Member Posts: 3,361 Member
    #3
    SFBob said:

    Anxiety, Upcoming Surgery

    Hi Markr100,

    Sorry to hear about your involuntary membership in our club. I'm a relative newbie, but there are some fantastic people here who have been wonderful sources of both support and information for me.

    I'm afraid the anxiety before scans and procedures is part of what goes along with the admission ticket. I had my radical nephrectomy in February of this year, and am currently doing my best to manage the "scanxiety" (great term I learned here) generated by my first post-surgery CT Scan two days from now.

    As far as the surgery goes: the pain may not turn out to be as bad as you are anticipating. A radical nephrectomy is actually a much simpler operation than a partial. Mine was done laparoscopically. I spent one night in the hospital, and four days after the surgery I really didn't even need pain medication anymore. I know that an open surgery can require a bit more healing time, but even there surgical techniques have improved greatly in recent years. (If you haven't yet, by the way, you might ask if a laparoscopic radical is an option for you. I know that in the case of the surgery group my urologist belongs to, they basically have surgeons who specialize in doing laparoscopic radicals, and others who specialize in open partials. A growing number of surgeons are now doing laparoscopic partials thanks to robotic techniques. Of course, you want your surgeon be comfortable and experienced with the technique used; e.g., you wouldn't want a surgeon who has mostly done open surgeries to be the one to do yours laparoscopically.)

    Ramble on

    Mark,

    None of us had a fun time being told we had Cancer and then major surgery righr out of rhe gate. Mine was 13 lucky years ago. Wishing you an uneventful surgery. I would say painless as well, but I would be laughed off this board.

     

     

    Icemantoo

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member
    #4
    icemantoo said:

    Ramble on

    Mark,

    None of us had a fun time being told we had Cancer and then major surgery righr out of rhe gate. Mine was 13 lucky years ago. Wishing you an uneventful surgery. I would say painless as well, but I would be laughed off this board.

     

     

    Icemantoo

    You're automatically a stage

    You're automatically a stage 2 because of the size of the tumor. Above 7 cm it's a stage 2. The lymph node may look weird but it doesn't mean it's cancerous. It's very possible that yours is confined to the kidney and the nephrectomy will be the end of it. It's a very scary thing to be told you have cancer but hopefully your surgery will be uneventful and the lymph node turns out to be clear. I had open surgery (partial) and it was not terribly painful. I was up walking that same night and home in two days. Pain killers only for a short time and it really only hurt when I laughed or coughed. Getting in and out of bed was tricky the first few days but then that too got better. Try to get some sleep and try not to worry and stress. Wishing you the best and so sorry you had to join our club.

  • foroughsh
    foroughsh Member Posts: 779 Member
    #5
    Mark,
    I was diagnosed 14

    Mark,

    I was diagnosed 14 months ago at age of 36! So I can easily remember how it feels to be told about cancer diagnosis, it really feels terible, I was also thinking of whatifs!!! What if I'm not there when my momy gets old and as a single parent with no other kids has no one to turn to? What if I'm not there to get old with my first and last love? And many mire frightering thoughts, but let's be honest, kidney cancer is one of the good one between all types of cancers, so treatable especially if gets caught at early stages. If your is stage two so you have good chance that you need nno more teartment other than neph. Mine was also stage two and biger than your,10cm. Open surgery isn't walk in a park but diffinetly not as bad as you imagine. I stayed two nights at hospital and since I came back home I didn't need anymore painkillers except two or three times, you'll be told to walk as mush as you can,plz do so,it'll helo your recovery, you've have some sleeping problems within few days or a week so it's best to sleep on a chair and have a bottle of water to drink when you cough at nights. Don't iver read websites and don't think you have lung,bone,brain mets just because you have a cough or a simle backache or mild headache, it's just a mind play. You'll get used to the fact that a tumor was. Inside you and that it is not there anymore after a while. I couldn't believe i can spend a day without crying during first months but time helps and heals and I'm almost back on track,thank God.

    Wishing you uneventful surgery and recovery

    We'll be here for you, plz let us know how things go.ps: choose the most expert orologist who have experties with rcc.

     

     

     

     

     

  • Markr100
    Markr100 Member Posts: 3
    #6
    SFBob said:

    Anxiety, Upcoming Surgery

    Hi Markr100,

    Sorry to hear about your involuntary membership in our club. I'm a relative newbie, but there are some fantastic people here who have been wonderful sources of both support and information for me.

    I'm afraid the anxiety before scans and procedures is part of what goes along with the admission ticket. I had my radical nephrectomy in February of this year, and am currently doing my best to manage the "scanxiety" (great term I learned here) generated by my first post-surgery CT Scan two days from now.

    As far as the surgery goes: the pain may not turn out to be as bad as you are anticipating. A radical nephrectomy is actually a much simpler operation than a partial. Mine was done laparoscopically. I spent one night in the hospital, and four days after the surgery I really didn't even need pain medication anymore. I know that an open surgery can require a bit more healing time, but even there surgical techniques have improved greatly in recent years. (If you haven't yet, by the way, you might ask if a laparoscopic radical is an option for you. I know that in the case of the surgery group my urologist belongs to, they basically have surgeons who specialize in doing laparoscopic radicals, and others who specialize in open partials. A growing number of surgeons are now doing laparoscopic partials thanks to robotic techniques. Of course, you want your surgeon be comfortable and experienced with the technique used; e.g., you wouldn't want a surgeon who has mostly done open surgeries to be the one to do yours laparoscopically.)

    Open vs. Laproscopic

    SFBob,

    I did bring up the potential for laproscopic operation.  My urologist recommended the open.  He is practiced in both procedures but felt it would be the best method for getting everything out, better field of vision, etc.  He answered enough questions that I feel he is justified in going open.  Thanks for the support.

  • Markr100
    Markr100 Member Posts: 3
    #7
    foroughsh said:

    Mark,
    I was diagnosed 14

    Mark,

    I was diagnosed 14 months ago at age of 36! So I can easily remember how it feels to be told about cancer diagnosis, it really feels terible, I was also thinking of whatifs!!! What if I'm not there when my momy gets old and as a single parent with no other kids has no one to turn to? What if I'm not there to get old with my first and last love? And many mire frightering thoughts, but let's be honest, kidney cancer is one of the good one between all types of cancers, so treatable especially if gets caught at early stages. If your is stage two so you have good chance that you need nno more teartment other than neph. Mine was also stage two and biger than your,10cm. Open surgery isn't walk in a park but diffinetly not as bad as you imagine. I stayed two nights at hospital and since I came back home I didn't need anymore painkillers except two or three times, you'll be told to walk as mush as you can,plz do so,it'll helo your recovery, you've have some sleeping problems within few days or a week so it's best to sleep on a chair and have a bottle of water to drink when you cough at nights. Don't iver read websites and don't think you have lung,bone,brain mets just because you have a cough or a simle backache or mild headache, it's just a mind play. You'll get used to the fact that a tumor was. Inside you and that it is not there anymore after a while. I couldn't believe i can spend a day without crying during first months but time helps and heals and I'm almost back on track,thank God.

    Wishing you uneventful surgery and recovery

    We'll be here for you, plz let us know how things go.ps: choose the most expert orologist who have experties with rcc.

     

     

     

     

     

    Everyone,
    Thanks for the

    Everyone,

    Thanks for the support.  It has been a..........challenging time.  I am a plan for the worst, hope for the best type of guy.  I hope that it helps with the pain and has me thinking thats not so bad.  I picked a surgeon at Duke Cancer Center. Both he and the Center came highly recommended.  I feel I picked the best I could for an uneventful surgery.  Thanks for everything guys.  Taking the kids out for some apple picking today.  Got to keep the mind busy.  It's my own worst enemy.   

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member
    #8
    Markr100 said:

    Everyone,
    Thanks for the

    Everyone,

    Thanks for the support.  It has been a..........challenging time.  I am a plan for the worst, hope for the best type of guy.  I hope that it helps with the pain and has me thinking thats not so bad.  I picked a surgeon at Duke Cancer Center. Both he and the Center came highly recommended.  I feel I picked the best I could for an uneventful surgery.  Thanks for everything guys.  Taking the kids out for some apple picking today.  Got to keep the mind busy.  It's my own worst enemy.   

    Mark, my surgeon at Sloan

    Mark, my surgeon at Sloan Kettering convinced me that open was the best way to go but gave me the option of seeking another opnion. I chose to go with him and the open procedure and I never looked back. It was definitely not as painful as I expected. Enjoy the kids and the apple picking. Hopefully soon all this will be behind you.

  • Limno
    Limno Member Posts: 24
    #9
    Markr100 said:

    Everyone,
    Thanks for the

    Everyone,

    Thanks for the support.  It has been a..........challenging time.  I am a plan for the worst, hope for the best type of guy.  I hope that it helps with the pain and has me thinking thats not so bad.  I picked a surgeon at Duke Cancer Center. Both he and the Center came highly recommended.  I feel I picked the best I could for an uneventful surgery.  Thanks for everything guys.  Taking the kids out for some apple picking today.  Got to keep the mind busy.  It's my own worst enemy.   

    You are rational and responsible.  You can't go through a situation like this without the worry.  I had a partial open nephectomy in April of this year. I tried to focus on the postive things.  It was found early, so it can be dealt with and it hasn't spread.  The medical team is good and my chances of getting through  surgery are 98%.  Now, you are on the cancer radar and if things start up again it will be detected early and dealt with promptly.  Post surgery there was surprisingly little pain, but energy level was low. For the first week I don't think I was awake for more than 4 hours before I needed another nap.  I am 61 and maybe 20 lbs overweight, so you have an advantage over me.  In the meantime, enjoy those fresh crisp apples you just picked and don't hesitate to post anything you need to get out. There is something cathartic about it

  • Footstomper
    Footstomper Member Posts: 1,237 Member
    #10
    Markr100 said:

    Everyone,
    Thanks for the

    Everyone,

    Thanks for the support.  It has been a..........challenging time.  I am a plan for the worst, hope for the best type of guy.  I hope that it helps with the pain and has me thinking thats not so bad.  I picked a surgeon at Duke Cancer Center. Both he and the Center came highly recommended.  I feel I picked the best I could for an uneventful surgery.  Thanks for everything guys.  Taking the kids out for some apple picking today.  Got to keep the mind busy.  It's my own worst enemy.   

    oh wow

    What a scary time! And when you tell people they get that cancer face because they dont know what to say. And what to do? What to do?.

    Dont plan for the worst. We all know what the worst could be and there's little point in planning for it.

    Certainly hope for the best.

    Its very early stages and, unlesss I've missed it you dont know what stage or grade your cancer is at. I'm loath to give advice but look at how long some people have posting on this board.

    Advice I hate giving but: Dont panic.

    Trust your Drs and nurses: they are usually fantastically caring professionals

    Neither hope or despair, it is what it is and will be what it will be. You will not believe how many positives will come out of this situation

  • Footstomper
    Footstomper Member Posts: 1,237 Member
    #11
    You Tube

    I agree stay away from it its not helpful at all.

    Of course surgery involves some pain as you recover, but its nowhere as much as your imagine will make it.

    You'll be fine and trust the health profesionals, they do this all the time.

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