Good times, Bad times

I haven't been posting much, but catch up on new posts daily.  I don't like to speak out when I don't have much good to say, but I guess I feel the need to whine.  

It feels like a blur since being diagnosed in early 2014.  Last year chemo did me well.  I had a total response and was NED for the last part of the year, I kept in high spirits and was able to joke a lot.  This year since my recurrence I find myself miserable and not doing so well through treatment.  We tolerate some treatments better than others and each respond differently.

Tumors grew back in my liver, found in a PET scan after my CEA rose from 1.2 to 3.  My CEA has never been really high.  At first it looked like 3 small sub-centimeter lesions, then 5.  I opted for SIRT, and by the time the first phase 2 procedure took place in June there were 10 tumors across both lobes.  The first half responded well, the second half had some response but there are now a dozen tumors that didn't get hit.  Yeah, the numbers keep growing.  On Monday I have my 9th stab in the groin and 3rd blast of y-90 spheres in hopes of killing off the rest of them.

I've always been really sensitive to chemicals, hell, I get high from a flu shot.  The sphere treatments knock me on my butt for a good 8 weeks.  The first four weeks I'm filled with pain in my chest, abdomen and back.  The next four weeks the pain is minimal, but I still feel lethargic and am in bed 90% of the time for the entire two months following the procedure.  After the first round, I seriously questioned going through it again.  Now I'm really not looking forward to the next month.  At least this time we're going in with a pain management plan.  The last time around I tried Oxycodone without Tylenol, and it shut my system down.  I couldn't even urinate, so I had to stop and just deal with the pain.  It's fun playing musical drugs to find something tolerable that alleviates pain.

On top of the liver issues, I've been having problems in the rectal area again (my source tumor site).  Stabbing pain daily, the urgent need to go to the bathroom every hour with little output, etc...  I was finally able to get in for a scope a few days ago where they found two active tumors sitting really low causing me problems.  These didn't show up on CT or PET scans.  I'm on my second round of Vectibix for that (started early as we were pretty suspect of symtoms) and I'm not so much enjoying the acne rash that has developed on my nose and chest, arms and back.  I'm taking Doxycycline and 1% steroid cream has done well for my nose at least.

I've pretty much been in bed since the end of June and have lost another 25 pounds since coming back from vacation in Mexico at the end of May.  I guess a plus is almost being back to my high school weight, though my wife doesn't seem amused.

I'm about done complaining.  Hopefully I'll feel better by Thanksgiving and be in a better place mentally next year.  I wish all of you well, and I'm sure I'll be back to joking and posting soon.