new here

Gcook
Gcook Member Posts: 25
in Breast Cancer #1

Hello I am fairly new here. I have triple negative BC, stage 2. I will have completed my chemotherapy in two weeks. The next steps for me will be surgery and then radiation. I guess I am just looking from support from 'cancer people'. I have been fortunate that I have had lots of support. I was out of work and had lots of visitors and company. Some wonderful people in my life. But this last two weeks I have been struggling a little and find that although people are helpful and all, they really don't understand what it means to have cancer. Why should they? Right? Also I feel like I dont wanna wear them out talking about it all the time. So anyway, not exaclty sure what I am looking for. Similiar experiences. I am going to a cancer support group tonight.

Comments

  • jessiesmom1
    jessiesmom1 Member Posts: 915 Member
    #2
    TNBC Too

    Welcome to the club no one really wants to join. I was diagnosed with TNBC  Stage IIa in Dec. 2009. I had a right mastectomy followed by 4 rounds of A/C and 12 rounds of Taxotere. No radiation. Then there were 2 reconstruction surgeries. August 9th marked 5 years since my last chemo. 

    I think unless you have personally experienced a life-threatening illness then it is difficult to truly understand what a cancer patient is going through. When I was diagnosed my 15 year old niece was the only family member who had experienced such an illness. I could tell that she just got how I was feeling. How do you make someone understand that you are afraid you wont live to see your children graduate from high school or college or get married? That you are afraid of being an emotional or financial burden on your family? Or that you are just afraid? 

    I'm glad to say that awful period of my life is in my past. That is not to say that I don't have scars both physical and emotional. I do. I have, for the most part, moved on. While you didn't ask me, I think you are already through the hard part of this journey - chemo. The surgery and recovery didn't even compare for me. Everyone experiences things differently though. 

    This Board has been a great source of information and support. No matter what your issue someone here has experienced it, also. So if you have any questions or concerns go ahead and ask. We'll be here.

    IRENE

     

  • Gcook
    Gcook Member Posts: 25
    #3
    jessiesmom1 said:

    TNBC Too

    Welcome to the club no one really wants to join. I was diagnosed with TNBC  Stage IIa in Dec. 2009. I had a right mastectomy followed by 4 rounds of A/C and 12 rounds of Taxotere. No radiation. Then there were 2 reconstruction surgeries. August 9th marked 5 years since my last chemo. 

    I think unless you have personally experienced a life-threatening illness then it is difficult to truly understand what a cancer patient is going through. When I was diagnosed my 15 year old niece was the only family member who had experienced such an illness. I could tell that she just got how I was feeling. How do you make someone understand that you are afraid you wont live to see your children graduate from high school or college or get married? That you are afraid of being an emotional or financial burden on your family? Or that you are just afraid? 

    I'm glad to say that awful period of my life is in my past. That is not to say that I don't have scars both physical and emotional. I do. I have, for the most part, moved on. While you didn't ask me, I think you are already through the hard part of this journey - chemo. The surgery and recovery didn't even compare for me. Everyone experiences things differently though. 

    This Board has been a great source of information and support. No matter what your issue someone here has experienced it, also. So if you have any questions or concerns go ahead and ask. We'll be here.

    IRENE

     

    Thanks for your reply Irene.

    Thanks for your reply Irene. I agree. I think once the chemo is over it will be easier for me. The constant fatigue wears on me. I know it makes me feel depressed. I have had surgery before and know I can handle that.  It is true that unless you have experienced a life threatening illness it is hard to understand. I really hope the people in my life don't have to experience this.

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #4
    I get it THEY DONT" GET It

    I get it THEY DONT" GET It thought caring and kind. They have not walk in our shoes per say.

    My family was there for me, as well as many friends, but even when I mention a simple thing, which is HUGE TO me, menaing a milestone-they just say OH yeah.

     

    such as 5 yrs ago today I finished my radation! OH-yeah

     

    or i went to the Dr for mammo...ALL IS GOOD, no call back...reply GREAT

     

    you've come to the right place

     

    I found out in hind sight, a journal was helpful, though at the time I thought it was goofy. (no pund intended)

    Denise

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #5
    BTW Welcome
     
     

    BTW Welcome

     

     

  • joannstar
    joannstar Member Posts: 403 Member
    #6
    TNBC Stage 1 --

    Welcome. So sorry you had to join our club.

    Unless someone has had the experience, they don't understand. I'm not sure if it is worth trying to educate anyone--the just don't get it until it happens to them, and it may, the stats say 1 in 8 women (1 in 100 men) will get BC. Personally, I think it is higher.

    I was diagnosed June 22, 2010 at 57. I worked throughout treatment (had no choice). I had 2 lumpectomies (to get clean margins), 4 rounds of Taxotere/C, 2 rounds of Taxol/C, and 33 rads. I celebrated 5 years NED on 8/19/15! 

    Although my life has changed to a totally new "normal", now 5 years out I finally feel like I can breathe again. Having never dealt with a major illness, I now have more compassion for others. I have a better perspective on life events. I appreciate small things and people more. 

    Good luck to you.

    JoAnn

  • GlowMore
    GlowMore Member Posts: 789 Member
    #7
    Hi Gcook

    From what you say above you were diagnosed with the Triple Negative from a Biopsy I am guessing?  And are having chemo to shrink the tumor first possibly?  Before the surgery? (Just checked your Home Page but you haven't filled it in)...are you having a complete masdectomy only or doing reconstruction at the same time or possibly later? Is your BC  IDC or  In Situ?  I'm not as up on all this as I should be...most of us know our own and some of us know a lot .....mine was Triple Negative Stage 3a to start with but then later on the doctor changed it to Stage 3b and I'm not really sure why except for the fact that maybe he had to do that to get Medicare to pay for stuff.   Either way.....I didn't learn about my Diagnosis from my Biop but rather after my Lumpectomy and Lymphectomy....this was all done back in 2002 **  I had 19 lymph nodes taken out from under my left arm and 6 of them had cancer...then I had a Port O Cath implanted in my right chest and then 6 treatments of FAC Chemo and then 33 days of Radiation.   I totally understand the fear of Triple Negative BC.....and hope that you don't let yourself get too tired at the beginning because it is a long haul with the Radiation....which does not hurt of course but is very very tireing.   As for those around you who do not understand....I would advise you not to expect them to because they are not the one fighting for their Life.  Love them but they just cannot know what this is like.  Hold on to your Courage & your Faith...take it step by step......you can do this.  Cancer Support Groups are very very good.  Sounds like you have a really good attitude and sending you Good Vibes *** Keep Posting.   xxoo  Glo

     

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