What Now??

Buffye
Buffye Member Posts: 2
in Breast Cancer #1

I recently lost my mother this year, on July 24th. 2015, It is so hard for my family, hard for me, and the hardest part is finding out how to cope. My mom was my befriend, my baby, my Guardian Angel, and I miss her more then anything in this world and beyond. I never thought that I'd loose her this early in life... I always thought there was more time, closed my eyes and see her there for the Birth of my children, see her there for my wedding, but when I lost her, I close my eyes now, and I can No longer see those beautiful images. It kills me that she isn't here because it doesn't seem real, like I'm living someone else's nightmare. I don't and can't understand why me, why my family, why??? Everyday that I wake up its a struggle, a struggle to carry on with the day or even start...... I feel many days that I hate this life, and just want to sleep for the rest of this life. I think about the memories of my Mother, and never do I have a dry eye, my heart is tierd and my soul is sad. But somehow, with the depression and anxiety, and all other feelings, I feel this comfort in the day to get up, hoping and praying its my mom saying, "get up baby, get up". An with that I do, I rise for her, and I rise for my family. I've been taught so much by my parents, but Not have I ever been taught to live without them.... How do you do  that???? 

What Now????

Comments

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #2
    I lost my dad as a teen-(now

    I lost my dad as a teen-(now in my 50s) still to this day I DO NOT think of what I do not have or what I LOST..I think of all the GOOD times we had! YOURS Is very fresh-but try a journal-

    I look at it this way: I had a great dad for a short time vs some people how have a not so good dad for a LONG time.

     My heart breaks for you-dont' rush yourself-on grieving. Do what works for you-we all handle it differently.

     

    Denise aka disneyfan2008

  • daddy78@54
    daddy78@54 Member Posts: 4
    #3
    Buffye

    I lost my mom when i was 13 yrs old and i never get over that i am the only child my mom died from ovarian cancer i still miss her to this day and cry every so often it will take time and it is going to be okay i now have two beautiful children 23 and 16 yrs old so cry hon and cry some more but it is going to be okay it takes time to heal nuff love and huhs u come to the right place.

  • GlowMore
    GlowMore Member Posts: 789 Member
    #4
    Prayers*

    Sending you Prayers for Comfort Buffy.... Yes it is your Mom who is telling you to "Get Up" ***and you know it in your heart.   She loves you and she knows that you love her and she would want you to remember that while she has left you...OUR LORD HAS NOT.   You have a Family that needs you....you will get thru this terrible pain....it will ease with time.  I was 24 years old when my Mother died and I miss her still....and I am an Old Lady now.  None of us knows the WHY of all this pain...but we do know that we can take a deep breath and go forward each day as we must.  I hope and pray that you are in good health and that you will seek help with your Depression because it is a Killer.  Hugs and let us know how you are doing....  Glo

     

  • cati0314
    cati0314 Member Posts: 203
    #5
    Missing Mom

    I lost my Mom to breast cancer when I was in my early thirties.  She fought for 11 years.  I used to take her for chemo.  She had lymph node involvement and eventually it was in her blood.  I miss her every day and always hear her say on the phone ... Just checking in with you baby...  I am 60 now and am a 5 year survivor breast cancer.  I have onco appnt on Thursday as I've been diagnosed with IBS and I think the onco may want to verify that its not mets.  Also it may be time to come off arimidex as its been 5 years.  Life is vey tough for me.  Severe depression and anxiety over my son, my finances and a possible cancer recurrence.  I know my Mom is up in heaven and I will see her and all of my loved ones one day...just not ready to fight again.  Cancer sucks.  Mine was stage 2b, locally advanced IDC, ER- PR+ Her -  I have the gene mutation BRCA1 so have had bilateral as well as hysterectomy.  This cancer was over 6 cm.  Always waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Had a bone scan yesterday ordered by my rheumatologist.  The onco will have the results.  Please pray for me that its not time to go through this again.

     

    Prayers to everyone,

    Sharon

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