Feel bad for my sister

camul
camul Member Posts: 2,537
edited September 2015 in Breast Cancer #1

She was dx 4 months ago with IDC and DCIS. She has had a lumpectomy and has another 2 weeks of radiation. I have stage iv., and have brother w/CLL and Small cell Lymphoma, also have other brother w/ whatever. He has said CLL, or nothing, h e is sick but evasive so who knows. I sent her a really pretty dainty bracelet with a.pink sapphire, and cards. But in talking to some of the other sibs, I get the feeling that it isn't very serious bcuz it was caught stage 1. When I was a first dx., I got so much support and phone calls, 2 sisters even drove here for my mastectomy. She doesn't seem bothered by it, but I am. I don't think they realize how scary just being told you have cancer is. I was stage 1 or 2 (2 different des staged it differently), when I was first dx'd. Mostly, I think I feel guilty bcuz if I didn't have stage iv, I think they would see it differently, or maybe I see it differently after going thru it.This must be some of that survivors guilt! Carol

Comments

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #2
    hugs

    hugs

  • aisling8
    aisling8 Member Posts: 1,627 Member
    #3
    disneyfan2008 said:

    hugs

    hugs

    I hear you

    She might be wandering around feeling blissfully grateful that she's Stage 1 and not 4. But I hear you -- I can see why you're feeling sensitive about it. I'm so blunt, I'd probably try to have a conversation with her (sometimes that goes well and sometimes not:)

    Hugs to you,

    Victoria 

  • button2
    button2 Member Posts: 421
    #4
    My sister got diagnosed in August

    Carol, I know EXACTLY how you feel bc my sister was diagnosed in August with DCIS. You may remember me posting about how upset I was. When I got the call, I burst into tears. I was much more upset than she was. I think it's all down to what we know and others just can't understand. All my siblings were very caring when I got sick (we live on opposite sides of the Atlantic) as they could be from afar. But if you haven't been through cancer, you just can't know. I consider that a good thing and I thank God she doesn't know. She got a lumpectomy and is going thru radiation now. Since hers was caught early, I haven't created a huge drama around it, but I don't ignore it either. It's important that we take it seriously and don't compare our disease to theirs. All we can do is check in on them and offer our help unconditionally. I hope your sister has a speedy recovery, Anna

  • GlowMore
    GlowMore Member Posts: 789 Member
    #5
    Your Sister*

    Gee Carol....I'm really sorry to hear about your Sister. How many Sibs do you have anyway?  Sounds like a big Family....  Are you able to see and be with her at all?  I know when I was diagnosed my Sister was there for me...& I didn't think I was going to live ...but I did...& then she was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and she died within 2 years.  None of us know what is in the Future as you well know....all we can do is try our best and love each other and tell each other that and hold on to our Faith.  Prayers for your Sister and for your to find a little Peace about this.  You are a fantastic Lady...... Can you make the Bus next Wed for JenBee?  Hugs, Glo

  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #6
    GlowMore said:

    Your Sister*

    Gee Carol....I'm really sorry to hear about your Sister. How many Sibs do you have anyway?  Sounds like a big Family....  Are you able to see and be with her at all?  I know when I was diagnosed my Sister was there for me...& I didn't think I was going to live ...but I did...& then she was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and she died within 2 years.  None of us know what is in the Future as you well know....all we can do is try our best and love each other and tell each other that and hold on to our Faith.  Prayers for your Sister and for your to find a little Peace about this.  You are a fantastic Lady...... Can you make the Bus next Wed for JenBee?  Hugs, Glo

    Gosh, Hate to hear about your Sister - Miss Carol.

    GlowMore - stated ain her post - We all don't know what the 'future' holds ... all we have is now - the ability to seek professional advise, and treatments - and a higher power.

    I will keep your sister in prayer - along with wishing and hoping for a cure.

    Strength, Courage and HOPE for a Cure.

    Vicki Sam

  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    #7
    Hi Carol

    I stalk this site, then and now and look for you (:

    So sorry to hear about your sister. You have nothing to feel bad about, you didn't ask for the "honor" of getting to

    go first. Besides your sister has the invaluable advantage of being understood (by you). Unless you have been there

    it is just not the same. And I know you will be there to share your wisdom with her, as you have with us all, you are

    an inspiration and such a strong, strong lady. 

     

    Love you, lotsa hugs

  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    #8
    Carol

    I'm sorry to hear about your sister.  We all react differently.  I am the oldest of 4 daughters.  Our grandmother had bc and mets to the bones, and 3 aunts had bc, one of which had mastectomy at age 68.  One of my sisters (53) had IDC w/7 lymph nodes 12 years ago.  She didn't tell us for awhile and was not open with what was going on.  Another sister (49 1st time) had DCIS and 8 years later DCIS again in the other breast.  I drove her to her radiation appts.  When I was dx with ILC and LCIS I took it in stride.  It was almost like I expected to get bc eventually.  But, 2 weeks ago my 39yo daughter was dx with IDC and I cried when she told me.  I'm still upset.  I hope eventually your sister opens up to you about how she feels and you will be there for her.  {{hugs}}

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