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  • MattInVa
    MattInVa Member Posts: 50
    Perseverance

     

     

    I was walking 2 miles afer 6 days from surgery

    2 1/2 Weeks after my open radical neph I am out riding my motorcycle again. I have a long road and am not even in treatment for my mets yet but I feel a certain need for a return to some normal life.

     

    Everone says "..oh take it easy". I don't, I won't, and I never have before. 

    Its so very hard to empathize with a person uless you have been and walked in their shoes. I am guilty myself of such words...Oh it will work out...type lines also.

    So I am just polite and go about my business doing as I feel comfortible with.

     

    I really don't have the words to explain how I feel at times and it varies so much, like a roller coaster. Today I am anxious due to having scans the next couple of days. Yesterday was pretty good. I felt good, did some light work around my shop.

    I sometimes imagine my life now is the same as being a fugitive on the run. I always have the cancer behind me, sometimes closer sometimes further, but always there.

    I realize this is probably what many experience during these times.

     

    Enough rambling I guess.

     

    Thanks for listening,

    Matt

    .

     

  • Jan4you
    Jan4you Member Posts: 1,330 Member
    Jojo61 said:

    Hey Foxy and group.It is

    Hey Foxy and group.

    It is true....be grateful for and focus on our blessings. Our blessings are what get us through our rough patches. Good time to bring this up, Foxy....towards the end of the Summer of Fox....but on to the Autumn of Fox....the Year of Fox!

    Sarah - so glad to hear about your VIP concert (so cool!) and that you felt confident to book a trip! And Happy Birthday Mark! (sorry a day late). Annie Oakley....so glad you are there for your husband and enjoying every moment. There is nothing better than sharing time with your loved ones. Allochka, your husband's news was so wonderful - and give baby Alice a kiss from me.

    I just moved this week. I never want to move again!!! LOL. We downsized, and I am attached to sentimental things (mostly my parents' stuff) but I had to donate a lot of it hoping others can love them too. That was the hardest part, deciding what to part with. But in the end, it is just stuff.  My parents are with me in my heart, and I have a few reminders of them here. We have a cute little place here (and to those of you who have known me a while....will be happy to hear that my hubby is now only smoking outside!!) I am retiring in June and looking forward to being able to spend time with family and friends and hope to travel a bit too!

    It has been Summer of Stress for me, unfortunately...put the house up for sale that I loved dearly, a tree in our backyard fell and crushed our gazebo, just after we sold the house, my hubby's ex-wife served him with papers (she saw our house was for sale and basically felt that she should be entitled to some equity - she self-represented so it cost her only filing costs to do that - just responding to it cost us $2K - and more to come) my workplace (school office) was being renovated and of course renos weren't done on time, so I had to scramble and unpack and try and find things as school is starting, couldn't find a house to move into (they are going like hotcakes here), and ended up finding one while my hubby was out of town for work and he only saw it 2 weeks before we moved in (luckily he likes it). I have been in a lot of pain all summer, and have been investigating it a bit, but not much showing so far (hoping to find time to go to the doctor again)...but wondering if it was stress causing it. But almost all the stressing factors in my life have sorted themselves out. Almost. Hahaha. And I can handle that! I still have a great life, and a terrific family and friends and live with the love of my life. Who can ask for more?

    Sorry for the long post!

    Hugs

    Jojo

     

     

    Oh dear, so sorry you have

    Oh dear, so sorry you have had such a rough time of it! Yes, I can appreciate how difficult it was to part with your parents treasures~

     

    HUGS~

     

    Glad your hubby finally quit smoking in the house. How'd ya do it?

    Hope things improve and you feel much better soon.

    Warmly, Jan

  • Footstomper
    Footstomper Member Posts: 1,237 Member
    MattInVa said:

    Perseverance

     

     

    I was walking 2 miles afer 6 days from surgery

    2 1/2 Weeks after my open radical neph I am out riding my motorcycle again. I have a long road and am not even in treatment for my mets yet but I feel a certain need for a return to some normal life.

     

    Everone says "..oh take it easy". I don't, I won't, and I never have before. 

    Its so very hard to empathize with a person uless you have been and walked in their shoes. I am guilty myself of such words...Oh it will work out...type lines also.

    So I am just polite and go about my business doing as I feel comfortible with.

     

    I really don't have the words to explain how I feel at times and it varies so much, like a roller coaster. Today I am anxious due to having scans the next couple of days. Yesterday was pretty good. I felt good, did some light work around my shop.

    I sometimes imagine my life now is the same as being a fugitive on the run. I always have the cancer behind me, sometimes closer sometimes further, but always there.

    I realize this is probably what many experience during these times.

     

    Enough rambling I guess.

     

    Thanks for listening,

    Matt

    .

     

    Days

    Each day has its own gifts and challenges. The pneumonia I had last week was pretty interesting and now I have two greyhounds running round my house which is definately life threatening!

    Let tomorrow come. It aint my business today

  • foroughsh
    foroughsh Member Posts: 779 Member
    Fox,Thanks for choosing this

    Fox,

    Thanks for choosing this subject, it's been on my mind for so long that what if we share our good news here too!?, and now you've started this wonderful post.

    Last year was very challenging for me. From last August that I was told about my cancer at very young age to this August I've experienced very different feelings. It was started with a big shock, endless crying, feel self pity and not hoping to see the next season. The distant from the diagnosis day, my best friend and this board helped me to become someone who has almost her strength back and gives hope to other cancer patients. At first my next follow up date was my deadline and I wasn't brave enough to plan for anything after that day but now I do plan for a backpack trip to our neighboring country in march which is after my next follow up, I hope that I'll have NED report and go to the trip but even if I don't, I'm sure I'll deal with it. I do still feel afraid sometimes but my inner voice keeps telling me that the future will be brighten.

    First weeks after joining this board I was deadly terrified and hopeless so I spent hours and hours to find positive posts which I couldn't find a lot, I also looked at members' joined date to give myself hope that kidney cancer's patients can live for many years after diagnosis but most of members were recently joined and there were really few ones with long time membership who were active. That made me even more hopeless, it took me long time to understand that many members join because they are in need and when things are better and good news comes they don't log in to share the news with others so I decided to stay active, answer questions and send my NED reports to let the new ones know this tragedy could lead to a Hollywood happy ending story.( So far so good)

    I'm very caring about my family, but since last year I spend more quality time with them and enjoy every moment of it a lot, My mom wasn't very good at computer and I did all her online activities for her but since last year I taught her how to use computer and she learned very well (and this feels good because I believe she won't be in need if I'm not around anymore) She even sometimes surprises me when I see how good she has learned.

    I also registered a TRX class to help my body be more powerful and also take part in dance class with my hubby. I've always wanted to do these things but made myself busy at work so didn't have time earlier, after my diagnosis my priorities changed so now I have time to follow my old time dreams.

    Now I'm reading and gathering information about Armenia, our neighboring country, to have our first backpack trip there with my hubby and visit all its historical and beautiful nature. Our previous trips were always managed by tours and it didn't fulfill my enthusiasm so I want to try this type of trip this spring. Meanwhile we go to short trips on weekends and sink ourselves into the nature and then when we come back into the city, we are both happier and more in love. I thank God for all and every second of my life and enjoy it; Although there are still some dark moments especially at nights when I wake up and unintentionally think about whatifs, I feel I've progressed over time.

    I learned from fox that we must be fighters and learned from dijniee that we don't need to always win to be a real a hero/ine.

    Good luck 

    Forough

     

     

  • Allochka
    Allochka Member Posts: 1,072 Member
    foroughsh said:

    Fox,Thanks for choosing this

    Fox,

    Thanks for choosing this subject, it's been on my mind for so long that what if we share our good news here too!?, and now you've started this wonderful post.

    Last year was very challenging for me. From last August that I was told about my cancer at very young age to this August I've experienced very different feelings. It was started with a big shock, endless crying, feel self pity and not hoping to see the next season. The distant from the diagnosis day, my best friend and this board helped me to become someone who has almost her strength back and gives hope to other cancer patients. At first my next follow up date was my deadline and I wasn't brave enough to plan for anything after that day but now I do plan for a backpack trip to our neighboring country in march which is after my next follow up, I hope that I'll have NED report and go to the trip but even if I don't, I'm sure I'll deal with it. I do still feel afraid sometimes but my inner voice keeps telling me that the future will be brighten.

    First weeks after joining this board I was deadly terrified and hopeless so I spent hours and hours to find positive posts which I couldn't find a lot, I also looked at members' joined date to give myself hope that kidney cancer's patients can live for many years after diagnosis but most of members were recently joined and there were really few ones with long time membership who were active. That made me even more hopeless, it took me long time to understand that many members join because they are in need and when things are better and good news comes they don't log in to share the news with others so I decided to stay active, answer questions and send my NED reports to let the new ones know this tragedy could lead to a Hollywood happy ending story.( So far so good)

    I'm very caring about my family, but since last year I spend more quality time with them and enjoy every moment of it a lot, My mom wasn't very good at computer and I did all her online activities for her but since last year I taught her how to use computer and she learned very well (and this feels good because I believe she won't be in need if I'm not around anymore) She even sometimes surprises me when I see how good she has learned.

    I also registered a TRX class to help my body be more powerful and also take part in dance class with my hubby. I've always wanted to do these things but made myself busy at work so didn't have time earlier, after my diagnosis my priorities changed so now I have time to follow my old time dreams.

    Now I'm reading and gathering information about Armenia, our neighboring country, to have our first backpack trip there with my hubby and visit all its historical and beautiful nature. Our previous trips were always managed by tours and it didn't fulfill my enthusiasm so I want to try this type of trip this spring. Meanwhile we go to short trips on weekends and sink ourselves into the nature and then when we come back into the city, we are both happier and more in love. I thank God for all and every second of my life and enjoy it; Although there are still some dark moments especially at nights when I wake up and unintentionally think about whatifs, I feel I've progressed over time.

    I learned from fox that we must be fighters and learned from dijniee that we don't need to always win to be a real a hero/ine.

    Good luck 

    Forough

     

     

    Forough, it is so great that

    Forough, it is so great that you are doing things you've always dreamed of! Somehow my partner and I haven't fully shifted into this new (and correct ) attitude yet.

    You say Aarmenia is your neighboir country. May I ask what country are you from? Is it one of former Soviet Union  countries? I'm asking because I'm from former Soviet Union myself :-) Or are you from Turkey? Sorry for this curiosity :-)

  • Jojo61
    Jojo61 Member Posts: 1,309 Member
    Jan4you said:

    Oh dear, so sorry you have

    Oh dear, so sorry you have had such a rough time of it! Yes, I can appreciate how difficult it was to part with your parents treasures~

     

    HUGS~

     

    Glad your hubby finally quit smoking in the house. How'd ya do it?

    Hope things improve and you feel much better soon.

    Warmly, Jan

    Thanks Allochka and Jan for

    Thanks Allochka and Jan for your support and kind words. How did I get my hubby to quit smoking indoors? He was away on business. I had been painting the house and getting it ready to sell....I texted him and told him that when he gets back, all smoking will be outdoors. And he did! As simple as that! And I also told him that same thing goes with the new house. Badda bing, badda boom! Done!

    Hugs

    Jojo

  • mrou50
    mrou50 Member Posts: 389 Member
    Jan4you said:

    Happy, Happy YOUR day Mark!

    Happy, Happy YOUR day Mark! Many more!!!!!

    Your post was inspiring~

    Hugs, Jan

    Thank you

    Thanks for the wishes

     

  • donna_lee
    donna_lee Member Posts: 1,045 Member
    Allochka said:

    Forough, it is so great that

    Forough, it is so great that you are doing things you've always dreamed of! Somehow my partner and I haven't fully shifted into this new (and correct ) attitude yet.

    You say Aarmenia is your neighboir country. May I ask what country are you from? Is it one of former Soviet Union  countries? I'm asking because I'm from former Soviet Union myself :-) Or are you from Turkey? Sorry for this curiosity :-)

    Sharing a joke about nature

    Living where we do, on a large bay with a mile long bridge, I cross the bridge at least twice a day.  Cormorants, a duck-like diving bird, roost or rest on the power line towers near the bridge.  The other day, a cormorant attempted to land on the concrete railing along the pedestrian walkway, missed the landing, and banged his chin on the walk.  Then tried to run to take off, again.  Diving birds are not designed to run on land and it reminded me of the movies about the albatross running over the wavetops trying to gain speed to soar.  But he tried and succeeded without getting run over by traffic.

    Donna

  • I am a make lemonade out of

    I am a make lemonade out of lemons kind of person.  My long corny screen name  is evidence.   In one of my old fire stations, there was a saying that bad things happen in threes.  2014- Office destroyed by fire in January, a close friend dies from esophogael cancer at age 41 in March, and I get diagnosed with kidney cancer in April and surgery in July.  Bounced back nicely after the surgery, and thought, that was 3, and 2014 was a bad year in the scheme of life.

    2015 was going to be much better.  It was rolling along nicely until I lost a major account for our business, and it will put the business under a tremendous amount of stress.  Maybe reality has not set in, but I have been more happy than usual, and I stroll into the office each day either singing or whistling or telling jokes.  I saw this loss of the account coming with a change in management, and when the news was delivered to me by telephone, the person told me that I seemed disinterested in retaining the account---I was a moment shy of replying--"What? I'm sorry, I wasn't really paying attention to wha you were saying." 

    Nothing really brings me down any more.  Last year thickened my skin and my resolve to smile, laugh and love my way through adversity and bad news.  No sense in adding to the bad feelings when bad news comes around . . .

  • danbren2
    danbren2 Member Posts: 311

    I am a make lemonade out of

    I am a make lemonade out of lemons kind of person.  My long corny screen name  is evidence.   In one of my old fire stations, there was a saying that bad things happen in threes.  2014- Office destroyed by fire in January, a close friend dies from esophogael cancer at age 41 in March, and I get diagnosed with kidney cancer in April and surgery in July.  Bounced back nicely after the surgery, and thought, that was 3, and 2014 was a bad year in the scheme of life.

    2015 was going to be much better.  It was rolling along nicely until I lost a major account for our business, and it will put the business under a tremendous amount of stress.  Maybe reality has not set in, but I have been more happy than usual, and I stroll into the office each day either singing or whistling or telling jokes.  I saw this loss of the account coming with a change in management, and when the news was delivered to me by telephone, the person told me that I seemed disinterested in retaining the account---I was a moment shy of replying--"What? I'm sorry, I wasn't really paying attention to wha you were saying." 

    Nothing really brings me down any more.  Last year thickened my skin and my resolve to smile, laugh and love my way through adversity and bad news.  No sense in adding to the bad feelings when bad news comes around . . .

    Saving to Buy a Home!

    Fox,

         You have made it possible to show everyone that life does truly go on! We are finally taking that step and saving and looking to buy our first home.  We have a camper (40' long with slideouts) and we have put all of our furniture in storage and have moved into the camper.  It's like being on vacation, except that we do get up to go to work everyday and the rent is very cheap!  Hopefully by this time next year we will be in our own home.  Oh and my cancer, I go for my brain MRI in November and the body CT scan in February, so far everything is good!

                                  Prayers for good health!

                                   Brenda

     

  • Allochka
    Allochka Member Posts: 1,072 Member
    danbren2 said:

    Saving to Buy a Home!

    Fox,

         You have made it possible to show everyone that life does truly go on! We are finally taking that step and saving and looking to buy our first home.  We have a camper (40' long with slideouts) and we have put all of our furniture in storage and have moved into the camper.  It's like being on vacation, except that we do get up to go to work everyday and the rent is very cheap!  Hopefully by this time next year we will be in our own home.  Oh and my cancer, I go for my brain MRI in November and the body CT scan in February, so far everything is good!

                                  Prayers for good health!

                                   Brenda

     

    Wish you to get a home of

    Wish you to get a home of your dreams! I always wanted to travel in camper, but hadn't had the chance yet. Will definitely try one day :-)

  • foroughsh
    foroughsh Member Posts: 779 Member
    Allochka said:

    Forough, it is so great that

    Forough, it is so great that you are doing things you've always dreamed of! Somehow my partner and I haven't fully shifted into this new (and correct ) attitude yet.

    You say Aarmenia is your neighboir country. May I ask what country are you from? Is it one of former Soviet Union  countries? I'm asking because I'm from former Soviet Union myself :-) Or are you from Turkey? Sorry for this curiosity :-)

    Sorry for delay, I think

    Sorry for delay, I think raising a beautiful daughter is a ful time job and fun . So it's going to be a very challenging wonderful experience, wish you and your luck. No, I'm not from former soviet union countries. I'm from Iran.

    Forough