Two steps forward one step back

Trying to put on my big girl pants and remember that my husband and I are running a marathon here, not a sprint. I was (unrealistically) hoping that each day would be a little better, but have come to realize that it's a forward and back shuffle and that the important thing is to try and go in that positive direction. Today's been a tough day with nausea and fatigue, even though two days ago he was doing well. On a positive note we did visit the dentist for the first time since treatment started way back in June and the teeth look good!



  • avisemi
    avisemi Member Posts: 172
    Barbara, I'm sending you a

    Barbara, I'm sending you a big, big hug full of love and support and well wishes.  Image from

  • wmc
    wmc Member Posts: 1,804
    It can be slow............

    I only had surgery but some things do take time. If you add chemo and radiation in the mix, well it has it's own timeframe. [Like a timex watch, you take a licking but just keep on ticking.]Some faster than others and some have more side effects for the same cancer and treatment. The only thing we really do have in common is we were all treated and all had cancer. Now survivors, or trying to be. There is lots that are the same as another had, so we shair what we learned from each other. We were all scared, prayed, and hoped. So each little step forward or accomplishment you celebrate. It might seem small to someone who has not gone through, but it is big to us. 

    You will always have someone who will say, I can imagen what you are going through. NO they can't but they do mean well. I just smile and say thanks. However there is always one who just, won't let it go. So I smile and say, you have no idea, but if you would like a glimpse, try not speaking for just two hours and write everything down you need to say, and then you will a brief idea what it is like. I only had to go 17 days, I have friends that went over a year and a half, and a few who still can't speak one word. Try to imagen that. That is only for the Extreme jerk, as normal people do really do care, but would rather not know and I respect that.  Oh, you need humor as well, the more the better. I even told one person when he asked why I lost my voice, that I snored real bad and now I don't. I'm still laughing at his expression. Or the one I bet I can hold my breath longer. I puffed out my cheeks and held my nose. When he turned red I said, you do know I breath through my neck right. He thought it was only so I could talk. Laugh when you can, and above all, Never give up!



  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    barb, you are so right, this

    barb, you are so right, this is a two steps forward and 4 steps back road.  but he will get to the end and see the light at the end of the tunnel.  it is just a slow road and you must take it one day at a time.  his body is going through a lot so the fatigue is common.  i'm assuming its chemo making him sick?  talk to the docs as they have meds they can give him to help with that.  i will keep you both in my prayers.

    God bless you,


  • corleone
    corleone Member Posts: 312 Member
    Correct. It’s not a linear

    Correct. It’s not a linear evolution. You measure the improvements by weeks, even months, not by days.


    About taking care of teeth. I believe dental flossing (together with the usual brushing, mouth rinsing, etc) is very effective. In addition, I used the fluoride trays for about 2 years almost daily, but once saliva came (partially) back, only rarely. I doubt that this would promote remineralisation as touted, but at least it might have some antibacterial effect.

  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    Treatment was my golden opportunity

    to learn to live one day at a does take practice, as we're programed to keep our eyes focused "out there" somewhere, to avoid pit falls, look for goals, etc....going through and then getting over treatment is so damn slow, living with what was in front of me today, and letting tomorrow take care of itself, was a relief.  I do think the highs and lows were much harder on my husband than they were me....I'd celebrated the good days....maybe go out to breakfast with him, or go for a ride in the country....then I'd lay low on a bad day.  The thing is....the bad days start getting further apart, and not quite so's by degrees, not leaps and bounds.  Three months from now, you'll be able to look back and see that "yes, he was just was so watching a clock"....but it's not easy to see when you're in the middle of it.

  • wmc
    wmc Member Posts: 1,804
    The highway of life......

    It is like the highway of life and you hit a detour.


    You know the one that is one lane and has a flagman who holds you there, so the other direction can go. Well it's sorta like that. It can seem like you set forever, then you get to go to the next flagman. When the treatment is over you get back on your way but the trafic is still backed up [still cooking for a few weeks]. Soon it will ease up and you are back and up to speed, and life goes on.................