Not the pathology I had hoped for
I had my post-op appointment today along with obtaining my path report. Grade 3, which I knew, Stage IIIC. Tumor penetrated 85% into the myometrium and 4 of 22 lymph nodes came back positive, 2 para-ortic and 2 pelvic. If there is an upside, the nodes were positive for carcinoma, not sarcoma, and according to my doctor, this is more treatable.
Everything suddenly got more real and scary. Today, I am really crying for the first time. I have been pretty good about staying positive, hopeful and strong, but this is so far out of my reality up to this point in my life... I need a whole new set of tools to cope with all of this. I know I can do this because I have to, but damn it!
Comments
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Not
Dang it, girl! So sorry for that dx! Was hoping it would be much better since you look so fit, while I am such s train wreck.! You go ahead and cry, it can be the best thing for you. My personal favorite vent is to slam doors...hard! There is not a door, cabinet door, shower door, ect. in my house that hangs true! I have had my dx over six years ago and I'm still Pi$$ed! Now, take a deep breath, get your mad on and get ready to fight! You will do fine! Don't let the beast ware you down. I have forgotten{forgive me!} what your cancer is! UPSC? if it is, that is what I have so grade c for me.too. I am up late and will be checking on you . Email me here through the site. Let me know if I can help! Best, Debra(Jo)
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Tough newsdebrajo said:Not
Dang it, girl! So sorry for that dx! Was hoping it would be much better since you look so fit, while I am such s train wreck.! You go ahead and cry, it can be the best thing for you. My personal favorite vent is to slam doors...hard! There is not a door, cabinet door, shower door, ect. in my house that hangs true! I have had my dx over six years ago and I'm still Pi$$ed! Now, take a deep breath, get your mad on and get ready to fight! You will do fine! Don't let the beast ware you down. I have forgotten{forgive me!} what your cancer is! UPSC? if it is, that is what I have so grade c for me.too. I am up late and will be checking on you . Email me here through the site. Let me know if I can help! Best, Debra(Jo)
I wish it could have been better. Go ahead and cry. I believe tears are cathartic.. Give yourself a few days to rally then get ready for the next part of your treatment plan. Concentrate on all the women here who are your stage and have successfully fought the beast.
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Ugh!
I am so bummed and mad for you. Yes - mad! Your dx matches mine almost exactly from April 2013. I say let it out, let it all Out. trying to keep it together and pushing those feelings down isn't good for you. I had the same thoughts of how am I going to deal with this - and still do. The difference now is that I know I can handle anything thrown my way. I think we all develope our coping skills and tools as go along. No one could write this out for us to work from i advance. I know you can do this - be gentle with yourself. A friend and I had a two hour conversation last night; she had just gotten her pathology from her lumpectomy and it carried a number of surprises including grade 3. She was talking about the same shock and then said her husband told her to cry and let it out because he knew she could do it and this is the first step towards taking on the fight.
Any questions, emotions please reach out. We are all here for you. maybe tomorrow you can get out to the barn and spend some time grooming your horse. It has been the best therapy for me in the roughest days.
Sending hugs, keeping you in my prayers. As Ro would say - in peace and caring. Anne
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Crying is priceless therapy.
So sorry that you are dealing with 2 different kinds of cancer at once, as if one isn't enough of a stinker, uugh !! . Cry out loud if you want to, then resolve to reset your mental sails, come into harbour when you need your courage renewed. Just come ,we'll understand. We are all fighting in different ways,but fighting.
We'll be with you on this journey all the while if you let us.
Nuff nuff love. Moli
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What would I doAWK said:Ugh!
I am so bummed and mad for you. Yes - mad! Your dx matches mine almost exactly from April 2013. I say let it out, let it all Out. trying to keep it together and pushing those feelings down isn't good for you. I had the same thoughts of how am I going to deal with this - and still do. The difference now is that I know I can handle anything thrown my way. I think we all develope our coping skills and tools as go along. No one could write this out for us to work from i advance. I know you can do this - be gentle with yourself. A friend and I had a two hour conversation last night; she had just gotten her pathology from her lumpectomy and it carried a number of surprises including grade 3. She was talking about the same shock and then said her husband told her to cry and let it out because he knew she could do it and this is the first step towards taking on the fight.
Any questions, emotions please reach out. We are all here for you. maybe tomorrow you can get out to the barn and spend some time grooming your horse. It has been the best therapy for me in the roughest days.
Sending hugs, keeping you in my prayers. As Ro would say - in peace and caring. Anne
without all of you? I am so thankful that I stumbled onto this board so early on. I did have my cry, admitted I was scared to a good friend who is also an MD after which we decided I definitely needed a wig because I was too skinny to be bald. Then I fixed myself a nice dinner and allowed myself a glass of wine.
ConnieSW, yes, I went back through the posts of women who have what I have, endometrial carcinosarcoma, and who are winning the battles. That was what gave me hope when I first went online only 6 weeks ago after poring over all of the frightening statistics that were popping up from Mr. Google.
Debrajo, i had to laugh when I imagined your house with all of its crooked doors! I am not a slammer, but the walls of my house have never heard more colorful language screamed.
And, Anne, yes, I am going out to the barn tomorrow. Petey needs some TLC and I need him.
I am hoping to get back on the bike this weekend as well. My body and mind miss the exercise. It makes me feel strong and capable and reminds me that our bodies are remarkable and can accomplish amazing feats when we give them what they need.
Hugs to you all,
Chris
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Chris
Darn it! Not what I was hoping for, for you! I had been thinking about you a lot yesterday and planned to email you this morning to see if you had your results back. I get mine tomorrow. I have had a slight gloom and doom feeling for the last couple of days. I suppose that comes with this entire experience. I'm glad to hear that you have a MD friend. That certainly has to bring you some comfort and a place to go for sanity checks! I'm sending you lots of positive energy, hugs and love. I know you are a very strong woman and will do what it takes to beat this. Thank God for this panel of women for us! Love, Cindi
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I was diagnosed Grade 3C also
Was scared - couldn't believe it at first. I felt fine! Crying is OK, maybe even needed! (the shower is my best place - no one around to be upset by it or tell me not to) I had a complete hysterectomy, chemo and radiation. All scary but all doable. I just got to 11 months NED (no evidence of disease). One Dr gave my odds of survival at 40%, another at 60% so I figure I have a 50/50 chance. But I've always tried to be a cup 1/2 full kind of person so I cry when I feel like it, pray with thanksgiving for the strength to get this far, and then get up and fight some more.
You can do it - just hang on & fight.
Barb
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I'm so sorry you got thisStrongerthanIthought said:I was diagnosed Grade 3C also
Was scared - couldn't believe it at first. I felt fine! Crying is OK, maybe even needed! (the shower is my best place - no one around to be upset by it or tell me not to) I had a complete hysterectomy, chemo and radiation. All scary but all doable. I just got to 11 months NED (no evidence of disease). One Dr gave my odds of survival at 40%, another at 60% so I figure I have a 50/50 chance. But I've always tried to be a cup 1/2 full kind of person so I cry when I feel like it, pray with thanksgiving for the strength to get this far, and then get up and fight some more.
You can do it - just hang on & fight.
Barb
I'm so sorry you got this news........but glad you found this board. It's not only a good place to vent, but you'll find all kinds of current information concerning your type of cancer. Sometimes (always!) reading the internet is very scary, but remember that what you read there is old and outdated.
Cancer treatment has come a long way and there are many who beat the odds every day! It might as well be you!
Hang in there and know you have plenty of company here, and women who will support you every step of the way!
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Chris, you can do this!sunflash said:I'm so sorry you got this
I'm so sorry you got this news........but glad you found this board. It's not only a good place to vent, but you'll find all kinds of current information concerning your type of cancer. Sometimes (always!) reading the internet is very scary, but remember that what you read there is old and outdated.
Cancer treatment has come a long way and there are many who beat the odds every day! It might as well be you!
Hang in there and know you have plenty of company here, and women who will support you every step of the way!
Looking back almost 2 years ago, I'd have to say the most terrifying part of my cancer journey (stage 3a, grade 3) was the beginning of the journey. It has gotten easier to cope and I frequently "forget" about it which is a blessing. I sure wish you received more positive news, Chris, but that doesn't mean all is lost, as you can see their are women here with stage 3 and 4 who are doing quite well. I continue to work full-time and I feel fine. I have been in remission since my surgery in October, 2013.
Wishing all goes well for you!
A warm hug,
Cathy
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Chris, I am so sorry to hearEditgrl said:What would I do
without all of you? I am so thankful that I stumbled onto this board so early on. I did have my cry, admitted I was scared to a good friend who is also an MD after which we decided I definitely needed a wig because I was too skinny to be bald. Then I fixed myself a nice dinner and allowed myself a glass of wine.
ConnieSW, yes, I went back through the posts of women who have what I have, endometrial carcinosarcoma, and who are winning the battles. That was what gave me hope when I first went online only 6 weeks ago after poring over all of the frightening statistics that were popping up from Mr. Google.
Debrajo, i had to laugh when I imagined your house with all of its crooked doors! I am not a slammer, but the walls of my house have never heard more colorful language screamed.
And, Anne, yes, I am going out to the barn tomorrow. Petey needs some TLC and I need him.
I am hoping to get back on the bike this weekend as well. My body and mind miss the exercise. It makes me feel strong and capable and reminds me that our bodies are remarkable and can accomplish amazing feats when we give them what they need.
Hugs to you all,
Chris
Chris, I am so sorry to hear this. It is ok to cry and I am so glad to hear you did something nice for yourself for dinner!
Take a breath and when you know, come back and tell us what the next step in your battle is going to be?
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