Bacteria concerns, am I being a nut?

JanJan63
JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1

Okay, so my understanding is that our bodies can fight off cancer cells to a certain extent if we're healthy or our immune system is strong enough. I live with my husband and his son moved in in January because he never finished high school and his mom kicked him out for beating up his brother and my husband is trying to get him sorted out. So he lives here and it's awful and does nothing for my stress level which is another negative when it comes to cancer, but I digress.

I've been bugging my husband about washing their hands after they go to the bathroom and before handling food. My husband isn't as bad and tries but it's something he's never concerned himself with. I grew up washing my hands often and it's always bothered me that other people don't worry about it as much but now that I've had cancer I worry that my body will be fighting off their bacteria when it should be focussing on any cancer cells floating around. My step son leaves hand prints all over and even goop on the fridge door. When I wipe up his handprints the paper towel is dirty so I know his hand was actually dirty when he made the handprint. The last straw was last week when I needed cheese and there was a visible bacteria handprint on it.

So my husband has really been making an effort because I explained to him why it bothers me so much. It bothers me anyway but the cancer thing is a legitimate concern, I think. So he said something to his son yesterday and he got all angry and said he does wash his hands and bacteria is everywhere and said I was being petty and marched off. I do not have a good relationship with this young man and never have, but that's another issue.  

My question is- am I being petty? Is this a legitimate concern? I don't like touching shopping carts, public doors, interac PIN pads, arms of chairs in public places, anything like that since the cancer. I've always been creeped out by public bathrooms and PIN pads but now even more so. Or am I justified in my concern? Please be honest if you think I'm being silly. I think most of you have more knowledge about cancer than I do.

Thanks!

Jan

Comments

  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122 Member
    #2
    Geeerrrrmmmmssss

    Geeerrrrmmmmssss

    They're everywhere! But even if they weren't, who in their right mind wants a moldy hand print on their cheese? Eeeeeeuuww.

    Sanitary slobs aside, I seriously doubt you have a thing to be concerned with when it comes to germs and the effect they have regarding cancer.

    I hate a sticky shopping cart. I always imagine some kid having sneezed and drooled on it. Maybe sticking his hand down into the diaper and wiping it on the shopping cart handle. But the germs are there anyway, sticky or not.

    Our immune system either works, or it doesn't. If you're on Chemo or had a dose of radiation, your immune system will be weaker, there's no argument about that! And it's true, that a weak immune system will allow things to grow that usually would get attacked and disposed of via your T cells, so sure you have good reason to be concerned with sanitary conditions!

    It's difficult to believe that others in your family aren't concerned, even if they aren't aware of your vulnerability to diseases due to your weakened immune system from the treatments.

    Maybe if you start leaving your soiled undies in the Cold Cut drawer they would take a hint? Maybe that's what it takes, ehh? They want cheese? Give 'em cheese!

    I would sit down and have a nice talk with them, and explain your treatments and your vulnerability to diseases due to the treatments. Use the old "If you really care about me" weepy sob, that usually works for about a week or so.

    If it doesn't, rethink that cold cut drawer approach.

    Cancer cells are just good cells that were in the process of dying and your T cells neglected to get rid of them. The dead/dying cell begins living via the fermentation process, since it can't receive instructions from your system; it just stays alive without rhyme or reason. It's like mold inside a wall.

    You can have a very healthy immune system, but if it neglects to do it's job the right way, cancer can happen; that damaged/dying cell can begin a new life. You have to keep in mind, that our body grows by splitting cells and discarding the dead/dying half. You don't have to be subjected to toxic conditions, your body generates dead cells all by itself. Outside forces isn't the problem, the body's neglect to remove the cell is the problem.
    (try telling that to Californians)

    Anyway, I think you're absolutely right with being annoyed with the lack of sanitary conditions. It's rude for anyone to be so callous and unconcerned, regardless if you have cancer, or not, under treatments or not. It's sloppy, slob behavior, period..

    Try explaining, and if it doesn't work, try being a worse slob while making and serving dinner to them. A few sneezes in the food and a well placed hair or two inside the meat loaf may make a world of difference.

    Good luck!

    (and stay well)

    John
     

  • Easyflip
    Easyflip Member Posts: 588 Member
    #3
    Yuck

    I think you're being normal even if you didn't have cancer. Grimy handprints? Bacteria handprint on the cheese? Never heard of that one! Personal hand sanitizer is good to use, when I was on chemo we had a bottle at the door and anyone coming in had to use it. You could keep one in your purse and use it as needed. Having said that let me just tell you a fact that will freak you out. In terms of numbers there are more bacteria and viruses in you right now then there are cells of you! You are infesting them, not the other way around! My point is don't become crazy germ lady, they're everywhere and probably won't give you cancer. I might add the stress of a nasty stepson may be more dangerous. Sounds like he won't listen even if you're nice to him. Hubby has to take you're side on this one and you two have to stand firm together to shape him up. Can you magically turn him into a horse? I think it's ok to ship him off to military school (I mean it!)

    Easyflip/Richard

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
    #4
    Easyflip said:

    Yuck

    I think you're being normal even if you didn't have cancer. Grimy handprints? Bacteria handprint on the cheese? Never heard of that one! Personal hand sanitizer is good to use, when I was on chemo we had a bottle at the door and anyone coming in had to use it. You could keep one in your purse and use it as needed. Having said that let me just tell you a fact that will freak you out. In terms of numbers there are more bacteria and viruses in you right now then there are cells of you! You are infesting them, not the other way around! My point is don't become crazy germ lady, they're everywhere and probably won't give you cancer. I might add the stress of a nasty stepson may be more dangerous. Sounds like he won't listen even if you're nice to him. Hubby has to take you're side on this one and you two have to stand firm together to shape him up. Can you magically turn him into a horse? I think it's ok to ship him off to military school (I mean it!)

    Easyflip/Richard

    Thanks to both of you and

    Thanks to both of you and thanks for the humour! I should have added that I'm very aware of the fact that there's bacteria everywhere and that we have lots on us at all times. When I worked I was in the health care industry in dental and we had to be very careful. I have a horse and dogs and my husband is always yapping at me about how I don't worry about the bacteria from them but I do from people. There's a difference, though. We humans carry bacterias that can harm us if not checked. We carry many bacterias that cause things such as strep throat and the fleash eating disease. We're safe as long as they don't increase in number for some reason. We're also not as able to fight off bacteria from a stranger. I learned this when my brother had cancer. They told my sister-in-law that people who live together get immune to the other's bacteria but if a new person comes in they bring their own set of bacterias.

    The dogs and horses aren't carrying anything that could make me sick. My step son said that what I said about the cheese is stupid because cheese is made from bacteria. Yes, but not a bacteria that will cause disease in humans. And, this isn't the first time I've seen a bacteria hand print on cheese. We used to have another one of my husband's sons live with us and we had the same thing. I showed both him and my daughter the handprint and they were quite surprised. This time I cut it off so nobody got to see it but I wash the cheese before I use it.

    I carry hand sanitizer around and use the cleaning wipes at the grocery store to clean off the shopping cart handles. I use my sleeve to open doors if I'm wearing long ones. I think I'm justified in my concerns and they should wash their hands anyway just because its the right thing to do even if I never had cancer.

  • Cazz
    Cazz Member Posts: 106
    #5
    JanJan63 said:

    Thanks to both of you and

    Thanks to both of you and thanks for the humour! I should have added that I'm very aware of the fact that there's bacteria everywhere and that we have lots on us at all times. When I worked I was in the health care industry in dental and we had to be very careful. I have a horse and dogs and my husband is always yapping at me about how I don't worry about the bacteria from them but I do from people. There's a difference, though. We humans carry bacterias that can harm us if not checked. We carry many bacterias that cause things such as strep throat and the fleash eating disease. We're safe as long as they don't increase in number for some reason. We're also not as able to fight off bacteria from a stranger. I learned this when my brother had cancer. They told my sister-in-law that people who live together get immune to the other's bacteria but if a new person comes in they bring their own set of bacterias.

    The dogs and horses aren't carrying anything that could make me sick. My step son said that what I said about the cheese is stupid because cheese is made from bacteria. Yes, but not a bacteria that will cause disease in humans. And, this isn't the first time I've seen a bacteria hand print on cheese. We used to have another one of my husband's sons live with us and we had the same thing. I showed both him and my daughter the handprint and they were quite surprised. This time I cut it off so nobody got to see it but I wash the cheese before I use it.

    I carry hand sanitizer around and use the cleaning wipes at the grocery store to clean off the shopping cart handles. I use my sleeve to open doors if I'm wearing long ones. I think I'm justified in my concerns and they should wash their hands anyway just because its the right thing to do even if I never had cancer.

    Yuck

    Hi Jan, I totally agree with you, and think its an incredibly hostile attack from your stepson to deliberately not wash his hands and leave sticky, dirty finger and palm prints everywhere.  It sounds like your husband's ex-wife was certainly not a very good housekeeper (nor mother) if she didn't demand the basics, that her kids wash their hands before and after handling food of any kind.  If you and your husband have explained the realities of the cancer patient's vulnerability to any sort of bacterial or viral infection, especially when actively undergoing chemo when white blood cell counts can plummet (I know, I ended up in the hospital for five days with neutropenia) and the kid still takes no notice, then I would take that as a declaration of war and toss him out on his ear.  I know that will sound harsh to some people, but, sorry, this could very well be a matter of survival for you and if he willfully chooses to put you at risk then there should be no place for him in your home.  Let his mother deal with him.

    Carol

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,804 Member
    #6
    John23 said:

    Geeerrrrmmmmssss

    Geeerrrrmmmmssss

    They're everywhere! But even if they weren't, who in their right mind wants a moldy hand print on their cheese? Eeeeeeuuww.

    Sanitary slobs aside, I seriously doubt you have a thing to be concerned with when it comes to germs and the effect they have regarding cancer.

    I hate a sticky shopping cart. I always imagine some kid having sneezed and drooled on it. Maybe sticking his hand down into the diaper and wiping it on the shopping cart handle. But the germs are there anyway, sticky or not.

    Our immune system either works, or it doesn't. If you're on Chemo or had a dose of radiation, your immune system will be weaker, there's no argument about that! And it's true, that a weak immune system will allow things to grow that usually would get attacked and disposed of via your T cells, so sure you have good reason to be concerned with sanitary conditions!

    It's difficult to believe that others in your family aren't concerned, even if they aren't aware of your vulnerability to diseases due to your weakened immune system from the treatments.

    Maybe if you start leaving your soiled undies in the Cold Cut drawer they would take a hint? Maybe that's what it takes, ehh? They want cheese? Give 'em cheese!

    I would sit down and have a nice talk with them, and explain your treatments and your vulnerability to diseases due to the treatments. Use the old "If you really care about me" weepy sob, that usually works for about a week or so.

    If it doesn't, rethink that cold cut drawer approach.

    Cancer cells are just good cells that were in the process of dying and your T cells neglected to get rid of them. The dead/dying cell begins living via the fermentation process, since it can't receive instructions from your system; it just stays alive without rhyme or reason. It's like mold inside a wall.

    You can have a very healthy immune system, but if it neglects to do it's job the right way, cancer can happen; that damaged/dying cell can begin a new life. You have to keep in mind, that our body grows by splitting cells and discarding the dead/dying half. You don't have to be subjected to toxic conditions, your body generates dead cells all by itself. Outside forces isn't the problem, the body's neglect to remove the cell is the problem.
    (try telling that to Californians)

    Anyway, I think you're absolutely right with being annoyed with the lack of sanitary conditions. It's rude for anyone to be so callous and unconcerned, regardless if you have cancer, or not, under treatments or not. It's sloppy, slob behavior, period..

    Try explaining, and if it doesn't work, try being a worse slob while making and serving dinner to them. A few sneezes in the food and a well placed hair or two inside the meat loaf may make a world of difference.

    Good luck!

    (and stay well)

    John
     

    You just made my day, John

    I hate a sticky shopping cart. I always imagine some kid having sneezed and drooled on it. Maybe sticking his hand down into the diaper and wiping it on the shopping cart handle. But the germs are there anyway, sticky or not.

    OK, I will definitely be taking Clorox Wipes shopping. 

    Maybe if you start leaving your soiled undies in the Cold Cut drawer they would take a hint? Maybe that's what it takes, ehh? They want cheese? Give 'em cheese!

    You have just made my day. Nothing like a good laugh to make things bright (and, its a GREAT idea, to boot). 

    Thanks John.

    Sue - Trubrit

  • LivinginNH
    LivinginNH Member Posts: 1,456 Member
    #7
    JanJan63 said:

    Thanks to both of you and

    Thanks to both of you and thanks for the humour! I should have added that I'm very aware of the fact that there's bacteria everywhere and that we have lots on us at all times. When I worked I was in the health care industry in dental and we had to be very careful. I have a horse and dogs and my husband is always yapping at me about how I don't worry about the bacteria from them but I do from people. There's a difference, though. We humans carry bacterias that can harm us if not checked. We carry many bacterias that cause things such as strep throat and the fleash eating disease. We're safe as long as they don't increase in number for some reason. We're also not as able to fight off bacteria from a stranger. I learned this when my brother had cancer. They told my sister-in-law that people who live together get immune to the other's bacteria but if a new person comes in they bring their own set of bacterias.

    The dogs and horses aren't carrying anything that could make me sick. My step son said that what I said about the cheese is stupid because cheese is made from bacteria. Yes, but not a bacteria that will cause disease in humans. And, this isn't the first time I've seen a bacteria hand print on cheese. We used to have another one of my husband's sons live with us and we had the same thing. I showed both him and my daughter the handprint and they were quite surprised. This time I cut it off so nobody got to see it but I wash the cheese before I use it.

    I carry hand sanitizer around and use the cleaning wipes at the grocery store to clean off the shopping cart handles. I use my sleeve to open doors if I'm wearing long ones. I think I'm justified in my concerns and they should wash their hands anyway just because its the right thing to do even if I never had cancer.

    I have a perfect

    I have a perfect solution!!!  ;D

    image

  • NewHere
    NewHere Member Posts: 1,428 Member
    #8
    Bacteria Everywhere

    The amount of bacteria that is found in so many places, such as you listed, is rather gross when you see the studies.  And most people do not wash their hands properly.

    The funniest thing (kind of gross) is in public restrooms and how people wash or do not.  At all.  The one exception is when I have gone to EMS conferences, it is great to see pretty much everyone washing their hands properly.  Also, without open areas (for the most part), the bacteria is kind of sealed off.  You can use a bit of hand sanitizer.  Does not take much, but use it like washing hands with soap and water.  Between fingers etc.  

  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,460 Member
    #9
    There's two sides to it, the

    There's two sides to it, the shopping cart thing is a phobia and that isn't healthy (mentally, germs are just a part of life like breathing) but I have to tell you, I am so disgusted that someone else would leave poop anywhere, nevermind a fridge door, that I am gagging.  Germs are a natural part of life and (usually) help us rather than hurt us but there are limits to crossing into disgusting behavior, they've definitely done it!  Now that I am NED, my oncologist has said that I must get sick (and I have repeatedly) to get back to normal but while you are in the fight, you really have to protect yourself.  If they're not going to protect you, then you just have to protect yourself.  If neither of them are sick, it's fine, you're not going to get sick but in general, who the heck wants to touch gross cheese or a dirty fridge handle.  Yuck!!!!!!!!!  PS.  Please don't invite me over for dinner.  lol  You can come to my house instead.  My ex trained my kids to wash their hands entering the house, before eating, after eating and just because they're dirty=)

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
    #10
    Helen321 said:

    There's two sides to it, the

    There's two sides to it, the shopping cart thing is a phobia and that isn't healthy (mentally, germs are just a part of life like breathing) but I have to tell you, I am so disgusted that someone else would leave poop anywhere, nevermind a fridge door, that I am gagging.  Germs are a natural part of life and (usually) help us rather than hurt us but there are limits to crossing into disgusting behavior, they've definitely done it!  Now that I am NED, my oncologist has said that I must get sick (and I have repeatedly) to get back to normal but while you are in the fight, you really have to protect yourself.  If they're not going to protect you, then you just have to protect yourself.  If neither of them are sick, it's fine, you're not going to get sick but in general, who the heck wants to touch gross cheese or a dirty fridge handle.  Yuck!!!!!!!!!  PS.  Please don't invite me over for dinner.  lol  You can come to my house instead.  My ex trained my kids to wash their hands entering the house, before eating, after eating and just because they're dirty=)

    Helen, you made me laugh! My

    Helen, you made me laugh! My husband has been much better and has been on top of his son but the son is still pretty lax about it all. His upbringing with his mom is likely the reason. Ugh, if he was my son his ears would be ringing constantly, I'd be at him all the time for all the things he does or doesn't do around the house.

     

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